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ledger

I was annoyed that I accepted this invitation, or rather, Alex had forced this dinner on me. He was lucky he was family.

As we got to his apartment, I heard the laughter of two women, then grabbed Alex’s shoulders, forcing him to spin around.

“I swear to fucking God, if you’re trying to set me up, I’m going to walk out of here.”

“Stass just has a girlfriend over for drinks,” Alex said, but the way his shit-eating grin was still plastered on his face told me something was amiss.

As I entered the kitchen, my gaze fell upon the girls perched on the stools, and the air seemed to evaporate from my lungs. Time slowed to a crawl, drowning out the distant sounds of cartoons from upstairs and the hum of the dishwasher. All I could hear was her laughter echoing in the space around us. All I could see were her beautiful blue eyes widening as she leaped from her seat, fixing her gaze on me before glancing back at Stassi.

“D-did you know?” she asked me, her voice trembling as she struggled to speak.

I shook my head, my eyes dropping to my attire. “No,” I breathed. “If I had known you were going to be here, Sunshine, I probably wouldn’t look like I’d spent the last week stress eating and binge-watching TV.”

She surveyed my appearance, a small smile tugging at the corners of her lips. “You look terrible.”

I chuckled softly. “Thanks.”

Auburn turned her attention back to Stassi, the smile gone and replaced by a furrowed brow, a silent question lingering in her expression.

“Stassi…were you…setting this up?”

Stassi fidgeted on her stool, her eyes shifting between Auburn, me, then Alex. “No, it wasn’t intentional. We were planning to have dinner tonight. I thought my husband and Ledger would come by later, after you’d left.”

Auburn’s brow furrowed. “Why would Ledger be coming over?”

Stassi’s discomfort grew as she dropped her gaze to her hands. “Oh, just…for our family dinner. I didn’t realize we had so much in common, and I didn’t want to ask you to leave. But I also lost track of time. Alex was supposed to get Ledger after he got home, but time slipped away from me.”

Auburn pushed in her chair. “I’m sorry. I overstayed my welcome.” Her head lowered, and I wanted so badly to walk over to her, lift her chin, and tell her it was all okay. Whatever she was feeling was okay, and I’d help her, but I couldn’t because she’d put this boundary between us.

“No.” Alex’s voice broke through my thoughts. “Please stay for dinner. The more, the merrier.”

I searched her eyes as she held my gaze. She kept looking between my lips and my eyes as if searching for her answer. She shook her head and turned toward Alex. “No, I can’t, but thank you.”

I was beyond desperate, my mind spinning with confusion and longing. “Thank you again, Stassi,” Auburn muttered as she snatched her purse from the counter and brushed past me, grazing my shoulder.

My head dropped.

“Go after her,” Stassi urged, her voice a desperate whisper. “Go, dammit.”

I glanced up at her, then at Alex, who offered me a sympathetic shrug.

“Fuck it,” I muttered. “Okay.” I pivoted on my heel just as the door handle began to turn.

“Wait, Auburn!” I called out, catching up to her, my hand grasping her wrist. We stood there in the dim hallway, the intensity of her blue eyes piercing through me.

Silence enveloped us, broken by the thud of my heartbeat echoing in my ears. My hand trembled against hers, craving the warmth I had missed for the past agonizing week.

“Please don’t leave.”

Auburn’s chest rose and fell rapidly, her pulse racing beneath my touch. I lowered my voice to a husky whisper, ensuring our conversation remained private. “I’ve missed you so much.”

Her free hand rose to swipe at the tears welling in her eyes, each droplet tearing at my soul. “I-I…We…we can’t do this,” she said. “There’s too much at stake.”

Tears continued to build in her eyes. I shook my head, a fervent denial of the reality before me. “I’d give up everything this instant just to hold on to one more moment with you,” I confessed, my voice choked with raw emotion, echoing the depths of my longing.

“No,” she sobbed, angling her face toward the door. “Please don’t speak those words to me. You don’t truly know me.”

“I know you,” I declared, my heart laid bare in my words. “It’s a fact, like the way I know that the sun rises and sets each night. When you’re laughing, I know the way your rogue curl falls across your face. I’ve memorized the gentle curve of your smile including the sparkle in your eyes that lights up when you hear something funny.”

“I know the subtle changes in your mood, the way your scowl deepens when you’re upset, and the way your eyes soften with affection when you look at Austin. I know that you put everyone else in front of your own needs and wants.”

She tried to interrupt, but I continued, “I know the warmth of your embrace, the way your body fits against mine like two pieces finally reunited. But most of all, I know the way I feel for you burns within me. I know it in every beat of my heart, in every breath I take, in every moment we share together. And no matter what, I will always know you, Sunshine, because you are mine.”

During my speech, she had shifted away from the door, her back pressed against the wall. Our hands found each other, fingers intertwining as she sought grounding amid the storm of emotions.

Between us, silence stretched, punctuated by the sound of our shared breaths. I kept my gaze locked on hers, searching for a flicker of understanding in her eyes. “Ledger,” she whispered.

“Yeah, Sunshine?” I replied, my voice soft with anticipation, eager for her response, hoping it held the clarity I sought.

“I don’t know what to do,” she whimpered. “The game… My mom…I don’t have the best?—”

My fingers traced the edges of her lips, silencing the trembling words before they could escape. I cupped her cheeks, feeling her suppress a small moan. I couldn’t take her here, not in my best friend’s house, but if I could, I would take away all her pain. She was my sweet Sunshine, and I wanted to show her the warmth she brought into my life.

“Shh,” I whispered, my mouth brushing her ear as I pressed a kiss on that sensitive spot by her lobe.

“I can’t.” Another small noise escaped her mouth, and it was a cross between a primal groan and the sweetest little moan I’d ever heard. I was immediately hard and pushed my hips into her, molding our bodies into one.

“We’re at your friends’ house,” Auburn whispered. Her hands wrapped around my waist, and I lifted her so we could be face-to-face. Her legs wrapped around my hips as our noses came close to touching.

“Come upstairs,” I all but begged her.

“I can’t.” Her voice shook as if she was unsure as she dropped down to the floor, adjusting her shirt. “I have to stay for dinner. I promised Damien earlier.”

“Think about it?” I asked her. “I promise to be a better friend to you.”

She nodded. What I didn’t tell her was what I believed from Alex—all good relationships started as friendships, because without being friends with your partner, what foundation did the relationship have to grow from? She wasn’t ready to hear that.

“Okay,” she whimpered. “I’ll think about it.”

“You go first,” I insisted, knowing Alex and Stassi were probably eavesdropping on our entire conversation from down the hallway.

The corners of her lips twisted into a smile as she looked me up and down. “You look like shit, though.”

I let out a small chuckle. I didn’t care about appearances. All I wanted was to have her back in my life. If I was going to rebuild our relationship, I had to start with a strong foundation, and then I could build something more meaningful on top of it.

“Hey,” I murmured, and she spun on her heel, her curls bouncing as she turned. Her eyes locked onto mine. “I’m glad I saw you tonight.”