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ledger

“Wait?” Auburn asked, looking up at me with her bright-blue eyes. She was dressed in a long, ribbed black maxi dress and heels, her hair pulled in a ponytail with a few loose strands framing her face. She looked like everything I’d been missing.

“Yeah?” I replied casually, masking the turmoil brewing inside me.

The past two weeks without her had been brutal, like I couldn’t breathe. Between rehabbing my knee and rebuilding things with Austin, it was awkward—especially knowing I wanted to be with his mom. Yesterday’s talk with him, sparked by Emma’s honesty, made it clear how much I love Auburn. He’s not fully there, but he’s trying, and he even suggested I take her out. I gave them space to talk, figuring it was better to let her share on her own terms.

“We’re going upstairs?” she asked, but still got on the elevator with me. God, being in a confined space with her for the first time in weeks felt like I could smell the wildflowers again. It was as if I was having a vision. The world paused momentarily just so I could get another glance at her—to drink her features in.

“Auburn.” I tried, and failed, to get my words to come out normally, but it sounded more like a husky whisper. I wanted so badly to cover the distance between us, to get up close, to smell what was mine, yet again.

She batted her eyelashes a few times, then looked at the door. “I’m so scared,” she whispered.

“Of what?” I asked, matching her tone.

“Everything. Living a life where someone loves me, ruining my relationship with my son, becoming like my mother.” She breathed out a heavy sigh, and I turned to face her as the elevator continued to ascend.

“Don’t be scared, Sunshine.” I reached out, my hand suspended in mid-air. She looked down once before putting her hands in mine.

Just as the elevator dinged to alert that the doors would open, we simultaneously turned toward each other. “We’re in this together.”

Exiting the elevator, we strolled down the hall leading to my apartment, only releasing each other’s hands momentarily for me to unlock the door. I held it ajar, inviting her in. Inside, I had meticulously arranged an assortment of candles in large vases along the floor, casting a soft glow with dimmed lighting to set the mood. Departing from our usual spot at the kitchen island, I’d prepared the formal dining room table with two place settings. As we entered, we veered to the right where the table awaited, already adorned with food.

“You did all this?” Auburn’s eyes widened in astonishment as she surveyed the apartment. “For me?”

“Everything I do is for you,” I affirmed.

“I can’t accept this. I pushed you away. I treated you horribly,” she protested, her frustration evident. Closing the distance between us, I reached out and gently lifted her chin with my fingers, tracing delicate circles along her jawline.

I couldn’t help but notice the softness of her skin beneath my touch, smooth and warm like satin. Her blue eyes, framed by long lashes, held me captive, reflecting a myriad of emotions swirling within her. It was as if I could see the depths of her soul in those azure pools, drawing me in with their magnetic allure.

Leaning in closer, my breath mingled with hers, our proximity electric. “Your smile is the daylight for me after a long, hard night,” I whispered, my voice barely audible. My lips hovered above hers, and if she moved an inch, they’d be touching. Her lips curved into a tentative smile, and for a moment, it was as if the entire world had stopped, leaving the two of us suspended in time.

“I would wait for you until the end of time, Auburn. I fully believe that life brought us together in some fated way. We were always meant to be, there were just pieces of each other both of us had to uncover to find the truth.”

She pulled back and hesitated. “How do you feel about Austin?” I was curious. I wanted to see if she would run away from me.

“I feel…better. I’m glad you guys got together and talked.”

“I don’t think it’s perfect,” I said truthfully. “But I think he respects our decision.”

She nodded. “I can’t live without either of you. I was so sad. It’s been hard for me to get out of bed the past couple of weeks knowing that I ruined everything.”

I grabbed her waist, pulling her tight against me, and dropped my head into her curls where I whispered, “It’s not you, Auburn. I need you to realize that it wasn’t your fault. We were in this together. We will always be in this together.”

Finally, summoning the courage, I sought her permission, my voice tinged with longing. “Can I kiss you?” She met my gaze, tilting her chin upward and parting her lips instinctively in silent consent.

Every soft brush of her lips felt like time had stopped. Each kiss was fire and tenderness, consuming me entirely. In her, I found everything I needed to keep going.

When we finally pulled away, I gestured to the table. “I wanted it to be like the first time we officially met, so I brought us sushi…again.”

“Officially met?”

“Yeah. The first time you were crying, so it doesn’t count. The second time, you didn’t recognize me, so this is the third time.”

She smiled, her cheeks flushed from our intense kiss. Before she could say a word, I said, “Please, sit.”

She obliged and pulled out the chair next to me. She sat at the head of the table, and I was next to her, but I’d moved our chairs so we were facing each other, our knees touching.

I poured out her soy sauce and mixed it with the wasabi. “You remembered.”

“I don’t know how many ways I have to tell you I’ll remember everything. My heart bleeds for every part of you.”

“Even the broken parts?”

“Especially those.”

She looked at me, reaching down to grab my knees. “I didn’t mean to say those hurtful things or push you away. I’ve never been in a normal relationship, so all I know is how to shut people out when they get too close.”

She sighed, and I gently wiped away the small tear that rolled down her cheek. “I don’t know how to be different,” she whispered, her voice barely breaking the silence in the apartment.

“You don’t need to be different, Sunshine. You just need to be mine.”

She gave me a soft smile, the corners of her lips turning ever so slightly. “I’m scared of messing up again. I’m scared I’ll get sucked into something, and when I need the door, it won’t be there for me to open. I’m scared that I’ll end up one day like my mother when I work so hard to be nothing like her.”

Her voice cracked at every period at the end of her sentences. Her words broke my heart. I had to keep reminding myself of what Stassi told me. I couldn’t fix everything, sometimes I needed to listen. So listen was what I did. I paused, allowing the silence to wrap us both up like a hug, giving her the comfort to continue. “I don’t want to be that person anymore, Ledger. I don’t want to mask my pain with this willingness to do the complete opposite. I don’t want to have every single day be filled with rainbows, because sometimes it’s okay to embrace the raindrops that fall.”

“You’re right,” I echoed. “Some days are meant for staying in bed and leaning on someone to help you get up.”

“I’ve never had anyone to lean on,” she whispered again.

“You do now.”

She turned her head back over to the food where she grabbed the chopsticks and dunked her roll into the wasabi-soy mixture. “Thank you for this,” she added with a mouth full of soy sauce.

We ate in silence mostly, but there were times when we shared a few stories from our past. Both of us staying away from anything too heavy.

After dinner, I headed over to the couch. “If this were like the first time we met,” she said, pointing at the spot between the living room and the kitchen, “I’d be right there on my knees again, begging you to teach me how to properly suck your cock.”

I chuckled, a hint of darkness in my tone. “Beg, and I just might.”