25

ledger

As if I could ever be just friends with her. I needed to get her comfortable with me, because going a month without seeing her smile was too fucking much for me to handle. I never wanted to be in this position again. Being her friend was better than not being in her life at all.

I was walking on a tightrope because of her son. He was my teammate, the kid I was mentoring before and after practice, and shit, he wasn’t as bad as I liked to think he was.

The plane hit some turbulence, and Auburn was back to white-knuckling the edge of the seat.

“Hey,” I said, trying to get her attention, but when that didn’t work, I grabbed her knee. The touch made her head spin so quickly in my direction I thought it would fly off.

“Tell me about Austin.” If there was anything I’d learned from my time as friends with Stassi, it was that mothers loved gassing up their kids.

She smiled, the color coming back into her hands. “He’s my pride and joy. I know he got in trouble at the start of the season, but I promise he’s a good kid. He loves hockey?—”

“I know. I see a lot of myself in him.” Her face warmed so deeply, and she shifted in her seat, crossing one leg under the one still touching mine.

“You do?” she asked.

I gave her a soft smile. “Tons. I was full of talent. Hockey was my life growing up. I used to idolize players from different teams. While other kids had posters of bands on their walls, mine were full of NHL players.”

She let out a snort.

“I’m going to ignore the fact that a sound like that came out of you.”

She snorted again, then covered her mouth. Little did she know it was the fucking cutest thing I’d ever heard. I’d pay to bottle it up to listen to it on repeat.

“And your parents?”

“They fueled my hockey addiction. My dad worked at a plant that manufactured parts for cars, and my mom was a middle school English teacher. They worked overtime, summer school, and extra babysitting jobs just to make sure I was able to go to all the hockey camps I could, even sent me to Scotland to play when I was a kid.”

“Do you have siblings?”

“Nope, it’s just me.”

“Your parents seem…wonderful,” she muttered, but there was a bite in her tone I couldn’t quite make out.

“They are. They’re retired in Indiana now, but will come to my home games sometimes. They said that this season, since it’ll be my last, they’re going to make an effort to come to more.”

Auburn shifted in her seat. “It’s your last season?”

Shit. I didn’t realize she didn’t know that. Girls usually Googled my stats, and the entire community had been talking about this being my retirement year, so it was all over the internet if anyone searched my name. Sheepishly, I tugged at the beard on my face.

“I assumed since I was mentoring Austin, you would’ve Googled me and knew.”

She cocked her head to the side, giving me an unimpressed smile. “I don’t Google his teammates. I’m not that nosy.”

I threw my hands up in defense. “I’m not saying you are. I just figured you’d get curious.”

She relaxed, then her baby blues pierced me through the dimly lit cabin. “Curious about you? No way.”

I shook my head. “I’m getting old, and I tore my MCL last season pretty fucking badly. Took me out for months.”

Auburn’s eyes bulged. “I had no idea.”

Her voice was laced with so much concern it was adorable.

“How can I help you?” She scanned my knees as if she’d become a doctor in the last few moments and could give me some miraculous recovery to cure my knee.

I leaned over and ran my thumb across her lips, forcing her to look up in my eyes. “I appreciate the concern, Sunshine. I don’t need anything.”

From you? I need nothing from you—right now. That was what I should have said, but instead, I pulled back before I could scare her off more. “My knee is okay right now. Sometimes when I lean to the right, I can feel the strain, but for the most part, it healed up okay. I just think it’s made me not as quick as I once was. I feel it in my body.”

“Isn’t growing up a bitch?” she asked, getting comfortable again.

“Yeah, old lady. Tell me what it’s like in your ripe old age.” She laughed hysterically. I was committing this sound to memory along with her snorts.

The plane hummed a bit loudly and we were headed into some clouds, which usually happened when we had to go through the Rockies, so instead of letting her get worked up, I tried to continue our conversation.

“Tell me about your family. Any siblings?” I asked just as we hit a bump. She swallowed.

“Eyes on me, Sunshine. Focus on the question I asked you.” Auburn nodded, closing her eyes for a moment too long before opening them up again and taking a deep inhale.

“No siblings. Just my mom.”

“Your dad?” She shook her head.

“He left us when I was a baby. To be honest, I’m not sure I remember his name, only that my mom’s called him a sperm donor my entire life.”

“That…” The right words were difficult to form. “That’s fucking hard. I’m sorry you went through that.” Auburn’s lips pulled into a tight, too polite smile.

“My mother was difficult to grow up with,” she admitted.

Just as I was about to ask her more, the plane started rocking. The pilot came on, letting us know we were going to descend into Denver and that it’d be bumpy.

Auburn’s panic was palpable. Her hands trembled, and soft whimpers escaped her lips as the pilot announced the twenty minutes of turbulence ahead.

“I can’t handle this,” she voiced, her eyes brimming with tears as she turned to me.

“You can do this,” I reassured her.

She clutched her body tightly, attempting to calm her breathing to no avail.

Fuck it.

Fuck what anyone else might think; if they saw her like this, they would know why I was doing what I was about to.

I undid my seat belt, turning so I was sitting next to her, then pulled my buckle tightly. As I sensed her distress, I reached out to her, my touch gentle as I tried to comfort her. “Hey, look at me,” I said, my voice calm and reassuring. “You’re going to be okay. We’ll get through this together.”

The turbulence amplified her anxiety, and she wrapped her arms around herself. I was fucking helpless and needed to do something fast. I placed a hand on her trembling knee, my touch reassuring.

“Listen to me,” I murmured, my voice a soothing balm. “I want you to focus on the here and now. Can you do that for me?” She nodded, her gaze locking with mine.

“Good,” I continued, my tone steady and calm. “Now, I want you to name five things you see around you. It’ll help ground you in the present moment.”

Closing her eyes, she took a deep breath. “I see…” she began, her voice trembling slightly. “I see the empty seat in front of me, the red nails that I painted for the game, the phone in my hand telling me I’m losing my UNO game, the sweat on my palms…”

I chuckled, encouraged by her jovial tone, but urged her to continue. “One more.”

“I see your hand holding onto my knee. I see you sitting next to me.” She swallowed as her eyes looked into mine, then I knew I was right all along. There was no way I would ever be just friends with Auburn Hart.