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auburn

I knew what I was asking of Ledger, but that was tomorrow’s problem and not tonight’s. The ache for him to touch me again was all-consuming, and by the way his cock twitched beneath me, he must’ve felt the same way.

Gripping his chest, I dug my nails into his warm skin. Since I was being confident, I pushed him back and sat up on my knees. It took me a moment to process the scene as I straddled this man, his body splayed out beneath me.

“You’re beautiful,” I half murmured, half moaned.

The corners of his lips twisted into a smirk. “No, Sunshine. It’s all you.”

“Can I touch you?” I asked sheepishly.

“Please.”

I crawled over him, my shirt bunching with every move forward. With a quick motion, he grabbed the hem of my shirt and pulled it over my head. “This was just getting in the way,” he muttered. If I’d asked, he’d have let me keep it on, but this time was different. I couldn’t explain it, but letting him see me nude was freeing. I had a fluffy stomach, my boobs bounced as I moved, but Ledger kept looking at me like I was the best dessert served on a platter.

“Fuck. I’m not going to last. I might come in my fucking pants just from looking at you.”

He reached out for me again, and I playfully slapped his hand away this time. “Hands to yourself. It’s my turn first.”

He huffed another raspy laugh out as I continued to crawl toward him. He edged closer to the headboard of the bed so he was in a seated position.

I prowled toward him, my nails scraping over each ripple of his abdomen. This was exactly what I wanted. I wasn’t thinking. No, I was admiring this man in front of me, a man who was teaching me what it meant to feel safe and secure.

“Those nails, baby.” I dug a little deeper as I worked my way up to his neck.

“Am I hurting you?” I stopped, my voice laden with concern.

“No, Sunshine. You’re not hurting me.” His cock twitched.

I dragged my nails up over his shoulders, digging in deeper, and a bead of blood popped to the surface.

As the blood welled, a surge of adrenaline coursed through me, heightening my senses. I fixated on the crimson bead, a stark reminder of the power I held at this moment. Pain and pleasure danced on the edge of my nail, a delicate balance that could tip either way.

Ledger’s touch on my chin brought me back to the present, his intense gaze penetrating mine. His ragged breaths echoed the palpable tension between us, a silent acknowledgment of the desire simmering beneath the surface.

“I will always bleed for you, Sunshine.” He rolled my nipple between his fingers, and I let out a toe-curling moan. Next to my clit, my nipples were the most sensitive part of me.

“Be a good girl and take my cock in your mouth. I’ve been thinking about the way your mouth felt against me for weeks now.”

I helped him slide out of his gray sweats, and he wasn’t wearing anything underneath. “Please.”

His begging was my undoing. The power in my hands was so freeing. Little did Ledger realize that I’d give him anything he wanted at this moment.

My mouth dropped onto his thick length, taking him in, and I’d forgotten how large he was.

“I’ll never forget the feeling of your mouth on my cock, ever.” He groaned, his head falling back against the headboard.

I popped off. “What about when you die?”

“If I die before you, I’ll haunt your dreams. Your mouth will only ever be mine, Sunshine.”

My lips curled into a smirk.

“ Brat ,” he mouthed, and we both let out a small chuckle.

“Ledger.” I replaced my mouth with my hand and pumped him.

“Mm-hmm?” His head dropped back again, then I knew he had fallen deep into the bliss of pleasure.

“I think we need to be this kind of friends a few more times after this,” I whispered.

His eyes opened, searching mine. Then he grabbed my waist and hoisted me up to straddle him again.

“Already searching for seconds when you haven’t tasted the main course yet?”

He peppered me with kisses along my mouth, over my cheek, and all the way to the shell of my ear.

“Lie down. Let me worship you.”

He flipped me so his gigantic frame hovered over me. “Spread your legs.”

I obliged, then became uncomfortable with the way the rolls of my stomach scrunched up until his hands caressed me as his tongue danced with my opening.

“How sweet are you going to taste on my tongue tonight, Sunshine?”

I moaned loudly, not caring if everyone in the hotel could hear. His tongue danced along my clit before he dove in, flicking, fucking, and devouring me like he’d promised.

“So fucking perfect,” he said between tongue thrusts on the most sensitive parts of my body.

I closed my eyes, gripping the sheets as I arched my hips, angling myself so I was closer to his face. This was what bliss must feel like.

I had no thoughts, just pure, unfiltered euphoria. I didn’t care what I looked like. I was chasing a high and was desperate to crest.

“You cry so beautifully for me, Sunshine,” Ledger praised.

I was so close—eyes shut, hips thrusting into his mouth, desperate for that impending explosion of pleasure.

All of a sudden, his mouth retreated from me. “Why?” I cried out.

He flipped me and lifted my hips so I was atop him again. “What?” I mumbled, frustrated that I had been right there, about to come, but he pulled away.

“I need to be inside you. I cannot fucking wait. Please.”

“I-I-I…” I looked around, trying to find the escape to the room. If I swung my leg around him, I could make a run for it…but why was this feeling coming up again?

“What’s wrong?” Ledger asked, straightening.

“I just…never…” The feeling of shame and embarrassment was such a powerful one, something I’d felt my entire life. This wasn’t how I wanted to feel. I wanted to keep riding the wave of safety and pleasure with him.

His brows furrowed. “You’ve never…had sex?”

His thoughts must have been swirling. I was Austin’s mom, so of course I’d had sex before, but what he didn’t know was so much fucking deeper than both of us, and it wasn’t the time to discuss it.

“No,” I confessed, then the word vomit ensued. “That’s not it, of course. I have a child, obviously. But…it… just?—”

Why couldn’t I just say it? I was losing control, the passion slipping away as I spiraled down the anxiety slide, knowing the crash at the bottom wouldn’t be pretty.

“Come here,” Ledger murmured. His lips found mine, enveloping me in a kiss.

I pulled away. “I want to do it. I do. I swear.” I nodded a few times. I wanted to feel him inside me. I wanted to share this moment with the one man who’d ever made me feel this safe. Regardless of our future, we shared something I’d never feel again in my lifetime.

Ledger’s brown eyes scanned mine. “Sunshine,” he murmured, his forehead touching mine again. His cock grazed my butt cheek as I leaned down to breathe him in. “I don’t want to do anything you’re not comfortable with. It’s your story to tell, and I know you’ll tell me when you’re ready. I told you this once, and I’ll say it again, but the door is always open.”

He paused. “Whatever this will or will not become, I need you to know how special you are to me. You bring me the sun when my days are so fucking tired and gloomy. You are so much more than just light to me. You’re my reason.”

I shook my head. This was too much for me to hear because I felt the same things for him. He verbalized what I was feeling inside. I lifted my hands, running them through his beard before I whispered, “What if I don’t want to leave?”

He groaned deeply. “Tell me what you want.”

His hands brushed my fallen curls, and I moved so I was hovering over his hard length.

“I want you. All of you.” Our eyes met again as he flashed a cheeky grin.

“I’ll help guide you down, baby, but you tell me if at any point it’s too much.”

I nodded my head. I wanted this. No, I needed it. It wasn’t for Ledger or because Emma had told me I needed to try again. This wasn’t for every time my mother called me a whore or a slut during my life. This was for me. I was taking back what had been stolen from me.

His hands held right above the meaty section of my hips to guide me. I laid my palms flat on his chest as I slowly dropped onto him, succumbing to the fullness.

“Holy shit.” My eyes rolled back in my head.

“Are you okay?” he asked as I opened them enough to look at him. I couldn’t form the words for the bliss radiating through my body.

“More than okay.” I whimpered. “Keep going.”

He kept guiding me up and down his shaft, inch by inch, and that fullness almost became too much for me to handle.

I cried out again just as I got to the base of his shaft. I paused for a moment, letting this new feeling take over. When I looked up, Ledger was staring at me with…admiration. His eyes wide and glistening, his mouth salivating, his lips swollen and parted. I stared down and saw where my nails dug into him. All of this was so intense.

Instinctually, I thrusted my hips back and forth, rubbing the top of my sex around the base of his dick. I had no idea what I was doing other than knowing what I liked thanks to masturbating and whatever I’d seen watching porn.

“You are…” His voice was raspy, sounding like a phone sex operator.

“Shut up,” I demanded as I dug my nails into the skin on his chest, then I released my hair, letting my curls bounce free. I needed to grind atop him. My nails dug deeper into his skin.

I cried out, letting the freeing feeling take over. Having the control and being on top had me feeling so fucking powerful.

“You are so perfect,” he whispered, a soft delicate embrace of words against the crass sounds coming from my mouth.

It was a symphony of moans and delightful groans as I continued to bounce on his cock. His hands grabbed mine and guided them toward the headboard.

“Hold the headboard, Sunshine. Let me fuck you.”

I nodded, grasping the fabric frame as he lifted his hips and pressed deeper into me. My hair was wildly all over my face, but I didn’t care. No, I was desperate to feel whatever this was again and again.

“Fuck,” I cried. “I think I’m addicted to you.”

A deep groan escaped his chest as he gripped my hips for support and thrust over and over into me. He was so big. It was so filling, and my clit was desperate for some attention. It would take me over the edge.

“Look at you on top of me, Sunshine. You look fucking beautiful,” Ledger rasped.

I held that headboard until my knuckles whitened. My breasts bounced in his face with each thrust into me.

“So fucking beautiful.” His mouth nipped my nipple, then he rolled it between his teeth.

“I’m not going to last,” I said, knowing the euphoria was about to hit me again, but coupled with this fullness, I was on a sensory overload.

“Shit,” he grumbled. “I didn’t…Fuck. I forgot a condom. I’ll pull out.”

“No.” I looked down at him. “I’m on the pill. I’m clean, I promise. I literally don’t?—”

“Me too. We get tested every year with the team, and I just had my physical.” I nodded.

“Come…inside me?” I don’t know why that one question had me flushed with embarrassment. Friends didn’t let friends come inside them…did they?

“That’s like asking an athlete if they like an adrenaline rush, Sunshine.”

“What?” I asked, and his mouth captured mine in a longing kiss.

He shook his head. “Nothing.” He licked my mouth before his lips pressed one more kiss on me.

“Come for me, baby,” he murmured as his fingers moved to my clit, playing along the folds, giving me the final touch I needed for that feeling to consume me.

I closed my eyes, bouncing atop him, holding desperately onto the headboard as he fucked me.

I was screaming and moaning all at once. “You’re so fucking loud, and I love every moment.”

I didn’t stop, letting the bliss wash over me. My hands dropped to rest on his chest as I closed my eyes and saw stars. No, at this moment I swore I could touch them. My entire body relaxed, allowing me to float through this euphoria. My pussy clenched around Ledger’s dick, and it was embarrassing how many times it pulsed around him.

“Fuck, Sunshine,” he groaned, and his own orgasm hit at the same time. I took two long heavy breaths before collapsing on top of him, our sweaty chests still touching, letting the wave ride between us.

After what seemed like hours, Ledger finally pulled out, and a warm rush of liquid pooled beneath me.

“How embarrassing,” I whispered, my cheeks burning, but Ledger caught my chin, tilting my face until our eyes met, dark and heavy with desire.

“No,” he said, his voice low and rough. “It’s fucking art.”

Before I could respond, his lips crashed into mine, the kiss intense but fleeting, as if he feared I might slip away at any moment.

“I need another shower,” Ledger said, his arm wrapped around me.

“Me too. I stink.”

“Can I help you?”

Little did he know what that question did for me, what it felt like to be so fucking…loved.

No. It wasn’t love. He cared for me. He was a gentle person, a kind lover, but I was forbidden from dating him. We would just have this night together, and that’d be all. I knew I’d said that the other times, but for some reason, tonight felt different.

Yet something inside me shifted. I had power and control in this situation. “Auburn?” Ledger said with concern. His fingers caressed my cheek, then I realized he was wiping away tears.

“What’s wrong?”

I shook my head. “Nothing. I just?—”

It wasn’t the time. He felt like the right person, the one I wanted to lay it all bare for because of what we’d shared physically, but this wasn’t the right time.

“I just have a complicated relationship with life.”

He nodded as if he understood my weird statement. “I get it.”