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ledger

I understood exactly what she meant, little did she know I, too, had a complicated life. After what transpired tonight, there was no way I would let her go. She was mine, and I’d crawl through the trenches to make sure this didn’t end tonight, even if that meant I could only be her friend in public.

“Come, let me wash you.” I sensed she didn’t want to push this any further, but watching those tears fall from her face was killing me.

She agreed, and I lifted her bridal-style and walked to the bathroom before gently dropping her to her feet.

Before I turned on the shower, I grabbed her rubber band from the bed and put her hair up in a bun.

“I heard that people with curly hair sometimes have a whole process of how they wash it, so I don’t want to get it wet before tomorrow.”

Her jaw dropped. “How do you know that?”

I shrugged as I turned on the water. “I looked it up.”

She laughed. “How? Why?”

I loved the way she smiled and the way her joy radiated through the entire room, warming it up. “I don’t know. I looked up if I needed to treat curly hair any differently, like if I wanted to make a handlebar out of you if that was okay or somehow going to ruin the curls.”

I guided her into the warm water, letting it soak her. Her eyes widened, lips slightly parted. “What?” I asked, rubbing her shoulders with some soap from the hotel.

She whipped around to face me and pushed me against the tile wall. “I have so many questions.” The corners of my lips turned up. “First, that is the cutest fucking thing I’ve ever heard.” I chuckled. “Second, what is a handlebar?”

My laughter intensified as my lips brushed against the sweet strawberry-scented ones in front of me. I grabbed a handful of her curls on the top of her head and gave a gentle push, causing her knees to buckle.

“A handlebar, Sunshine.” My cock twitched again, imagining the way her lips would feel against my thick, wet length. “It’s what I use to hold while I fuck your face.”

A blush crept into her cheeks as I let go of her hair, lifting her back up. “Oh.”

She turned back to face the water of the shower. “I’d be your handlebar anytime.”

Fuck me.

* * *

After we got back to the bedroom area of the hotel room, with her wearing one of my shirts, it was already well into the early hours of the morning. I needed to be at practice in just a few hours with her son.

“I’ll see you in the morning…” Auburn pulled at her curls while shuffling her feet on the carpet.

“Get in,” I urged, my tone firm yet tinged with desperation, as if the closeness could erase the chasm between us.

She hesitated, uncertainty etched in every line of her face, her fingers pressed to her temple. “I…I should go…”

My heart clenched at her hesitation. “You don’t have to go anywhere, Auburn.” My voice softened, coaxing her closer.

Her gaze met mine, searching for answers in the depths of my eyes. “But we can’t…”

I sat up, determined to bridge the gap between us, inviting her with a gesture to the empty space beside me. “We don’t need labels,” I insisted, the words rushing out in a fervent plea. “Tonight was…indescribable. Let’s keep it between us, at our own pace. But I can’t imagine going back to a world where you’re not a part of it. In public, we can be friends, but in my bed, you are mine.”

A heavy silence hung between us as I lowered my voice, almost afraid to express my deepest fear. “Please don’t let me lose you. I promise to be just…a friend.”

Her tears mirrored mine as she nodded, her resolve softening and arms falling to her sides as she approached the bed.

She settled beside me, the soft contours of her body settling into the bed and crossed her legs in that familiar crisscross style. Her presence beside me was a soothing balm to my restless soul.

“A friend,” she repeated, her voice barely above a whisper.

I nodded, but inside, my heart was a storm of conflicting emotions. “In public,” I clarified.

“And in private, I’ll be…”

“Mine.”

No labels meant no expectations, no constraints, but it also meant uncertainty. There was no answer about what would happen if Coach’s suspicions were to grow. We’d need to tread lightly, but I just wanted to sleep with her next to me.

“That means you cannot leave because we’re still in bed,” I added in jest, trying to conceal the desperation seeping into my voice.

A moment of silence hung between us, pregnant with unspoken truths and unfulfilled desires. Then, with a quiet resolve, she met my gaze and uttered a simple word, one that held the promise of an unwavering bond: “Deal.”

Her assurance washed over me like a gentle wave, soothing the ache of my restless heart. As I pulled her close, I enveloped her in the warmth of my embrace. No matter what lay ahead, we would face it together.