Page 87 of Up In Smoke

“But you said?—”

“Do you remember Adam’s brother, Jesse?” I interrupt.

My mom scoffs. “That drug addled attention seeker? Goodness, he thought he was something special, didn’t he?” Her laughter peals down the phone like church bells out of tune. “What about him?”

Nausea washes over me. I’m tempted to say this call has nothing to do with him after all to spare myself hearing any more gross insults. But I’ve been letting my parents dismiss me ever since the day my sister died.

I was the child. They were the adults. It was an accident. They should have consoled me. Instead, they abandoned me.

“We got married,” I tell them, completely deadpan. My intention had been to simply let them know we were a couple.However, something reckless has taken hold of me. “I was feeling guilty for not telling you. But maybe it would have been better for everyone if I hadn’t bothered.”

My mom’s face is a picture. It would be funny if it wasn’t so sad.

She laughs. Then frowns again. “That’s not…what?” she finally manages. “Honey, what are you talking about? You didn’t get married without telling us. Eduardo, did he say anything to you?”

“No, Maria.” My dad scowls at me. “Is this a prank, son? You wouldn’t disrespect us like that, would you? Cut us out of your wedding?”

My mom flaps her hand, looking panicked. “And you’re not talking about Jesse Silverman, are you? He was bad news, Enrico!”

Pain twists inside me. Isn’t this exactly what I was upset about the other night? Knowing how people have judged Jesse and still do. All my parents really know about him is that he went off to become a Hollywood star and ended up in the gutter instead.

“He’s changed, Mom,” I try and explain. “He’s been sober for over five months now and is doing well. Actually, he’s doing incredible. I’m sure if you met him?—”

“That won’t last!” my mom shrieks, her eyes welling up. “We heard all about his failed attempts at rehab. Oh, sweetheart. Why did you have to jump in and marry him for heaven’s sake?”

“Young people these days,” my dad says with a scowl. “Always have to rush into everything. Got no respect for the sanctity of marriage. You’re lucky they let you guys marry each other at all these days. And this is what you do with it.” He shakes his head. “At least it’ll be easy enough to get a divorce.”

My mom’s lip trembles. “Divorce? Dios mío. What will I tell people at church?”

My dad wraps his arm around her and continues to glare at me. “We won’t have to tell them anything, I’m sure. Honestly, mijo, what were you thinking? Look how you’ve upset your mother.”

I wasn’t foolish enough to think this conversation would be all sunshine and warm fuzzies. But I have to admit, I didn’t anticipate quite this soul-crushing level of disaster. My throat is tight, but I steel my resolve, not wanting to appear weak in front of them.

A deep sadness washes over me. Perhaps this is finally the moment where I realize that nothing I ever do will be enough to win back their love.

“All I was thinking,” I begin. “Is that I’m the happiest I’ve been in…well, forever. And I wanted to share that with you, because I thought you’d be happy, too. But I guess I don’t deserve that, do I? It doesn’t matter that I was the one who survived. I let Esmeralda die, and there isn’t anything I can ever do to make that okay. You don’t have to like who I love if you don’t want to. But I’m telling you right now that Jesse isn’t who you think he is. He’s an amazing person and I’m lucky to be with him. I hope one day you’ll come to accept that. Bye, Mom. Bye, Dad.”

There are squawks of protest as I end the call, but my heart can’t take it. Yes, I threw them a curveball. But they didn’t so much fumble it as throw it back in my face.

A wave of grief threatens to overwhelm me, but something in my core fights back, resists. Before I know what I’m doing, I’m dialing another number. And no matter how this conversation goes, I know that there will at least be mutual love and respect exchanged.

At least, I hope so.

Coming home to Jesse yesterday morning was one of the most healing experiences of my life. Not to mention insanelyhot. But as great as the sex was, the connection we shared was a balm my soul has been yearning for these past couple of decades. If there’s one person on this earth I’d hope would put in the effort to understand that, I really hope he’s about to pick up this call.

“Hello?”

My heart leaps into my throat. “Adam?”

“Rico! My man! What’s going on?”

I’m still reeling from the conversation with my parents, and I didn’t even stop and check what the time is in Switzerland. So it takes me a moment to scramble my thoughts together. In the second I hesitate, Adam’s already peering through the camera lens in concern.

“Hey, Rico? What’s wrong?”

I shake my head. “Sorry, I should have checked if you had time to talk first.”

Adam looks at me curiously. “You know I wouldn’t have picked up if I didn’t. I’m just walking the dog. I’m free for as long as you need me.”