Page 43 of Up In Smoke
“Come on in. Nice to meet you.” He extends his arm toward the main corridor that leads away from the reception area, so that’s where I start walking.Just be cool,I beg myself. It’s not long until we’re in a fancy corner office and I’m positioned in front of his desk.
“Thank you for this opportunity,” I say as he takes a seat opposite me. My chair feels too small. I clasp my hands together again and pray I don’t start fidgeting without noticing.
“Of course,” he says with a smile that doesn’t reassure me so much as send a chill down my spine. He smooths his tie along his chest and tilts his head as he looks at me. “As soon as I saw your resume, I had to get you in here. Why don’t you tell me a little about yourself, Jesse?”
Damn, my palms are sweating. I try and subtly run them along my thighs. “Oh, well. I’ll be honest, I’m not really used to an office environment like this. But I’m a fast learner and I’m willing to work hard to improve and get the job done. I’m good in a team, so I think this assistant’s role would be a great fit for me.”
Winston steeples his fingers together. “And past employment?”
“Oh, um…” I knew this would happen and I try not to let my cheeks pink up. “I’ve done a lot of work in entertainment and hospitality. But that’s not really a healthy environment for me anymore, so I’m looking for a chance to switch into something more nine-to-five. That’s why I’m happy to start at the bottom and climb my way up. Even if that’s just making coffees or taking messages on the phones.”
He waves his hand, and his smile slips as he rolls his eyes. My stomach drops. That obviously wasn’t the right thing to say.
“Oh, come on, man,” he says with a laugh. “You know what I’m talking about. Do the thing.”
I really don’t know what he’s talking about. Does he want me to…dance for him? The idea that this lawyer knows I used to be a stripper sends ice down my spine and a wave of nausea rolls through me.
But Winston carries on with a grin. “You know?” He snaps his fingers on both hands in quick succession, a motion that’sagonizingly familiar to me, having done it about a million, billion times in my former life. “What was that thing you always said? ‘It’s not rocket science!’ Right?” He chortles to himself. “YouareLeroy Puck, Boy Detective, aren’t you? Not some other Jesse Silverman. I search for your picture online and figured it had to be you!”
My stomach hasn’t just dropped. It’s gone all the way through the Earth’s crust and is about to hit mantle. “Yeah, that’s me,” I say flatly.
My tone doesn’t dampen Winston’s enthusiasm, unfortunately. He snaps his fingers again and grins. “I knew it! My sister was obsessed with that stupid show. She was always hogging the good TV, watching her DVDs. Hey, can we take a selfie? I want to rub it in her face that I met you.”
“Uhh, I’d rather not…”
But he’s not listening. He’s already jumped up and rounded the desk, phone in hand. I barely get a chance to look at the camera lens before he pops off a couple of shots.
“That’s what I’m talking about,” he says smugly, zooming in on one of the images as he goes and sits back down. “Iknewit was you. Hilarious.”
My throat is thick, and I try not to squirm in my chair. “It’s always nice meeting a fan,” I say automatically, like I was trained to do all those years ago. It doesn’t matter that he clearly thinks pretty poorly of both me and my old show, but it’s always best to keep the public happy.
That’s what we were there for, after all. To amuse them. Like gladiators in ancient Rome.
“So, um, like I said,” I begin, trying to salvage this train wreck of an interview. “I’ve mostly worked in entertainment before now, but I’m hoping to?—”
“Didn’t you also do that show where they make you eat bugs for money and shit?” he interrupts absently, his eyes still gluedto his phone. Presumably, he’s sending a gloating text to his sister.
I blow my cheeks out and try and hold onto my center of calm. “Yeah, that as well,” I grit through my teeth.
“I can’t believe anyone would do that,” Winston says, shaking his head before finally looking back up at me. “But I guess desperate times call for desperate measures, huh?”
My eyes are stinging, but I absolutely refuse to let this man see me get upset. So I just hum and nod once, holding his gaze.
That seems to shake him out of his mirth, at least. He drops his phone on his desk and presses his hands together, giving me a serious look. “Okay. The job. Well, I’d like to thank you for taking the time to come in today, Jesse. But I’m afraid I don’t think it’s going to be a good fit. We’re hoping for someone with more experience. But if you’re looking for temp work to flesh out your resume, you can always speak to Miriam on the front desk. She might be able to help you get some experience.”
The‘for free’is implied but left unsaid.
I blink, not quite able to believe the balls on this guy. So he’s not even going to pretend this interview was real? He could have thanked me for my time and sent me on my way without another word like I’ve read most companies do. Instead, he’s gloating to my face.
He just brought me in here to laugh at me. To use me to needle his sister. I bet he’s going to have a fabulous time later telling all his friends how he met a washed-up kid actor as they all cackle over their top-shelf whiskey.
My skin is hot and my hands are shaking as I manage to rise to my feet. “Thank you for your time,” I mumble with what little dignity I have left.
Winston waves me off, his attention already directed at his computer screen. “You can find your own way out, can’t you? I’ve got a meeting I need to prepare for.”
I’m not sure how I make it out of the air-conditioned office back out into the sunshine, blinking tears back as I struggle to take a breath.
That’s all I am. That’s all I’ll ever be. A joke. A bad punchline that people will giggle over then forget about completely five minutes later.