Page 85 of Up In Smoke
I yank my T-shirt off and toss it to the floor. Klaus seems to have made himself scarce, and that’s probably for the best with the feral urges overcoming me. I tug at Rico’s T-shirt, and he gets the hint, leaning up so I can pull it off, too. It’s awkward, but we kiss fervently again as I wriggle out of my underwear. Between us, we get Rico naked as well. We roll on the bed, the covers kicked back, him on top then me on top once more.
It’s probably a miracle I don’t knee him in the crotch as I fling my arm out, fumbling for the drawer in the nightstand. That would have killed the mood pretty damn fast and I’m not letting that happen. We already talked about our sexual health and decided when the time was right, we didn’t need or want to use condoms.
That time is now.
Rico watches as I snatch up the bottle of lube, squirting a hefty amount onto my fingers before reaching behind myself and sliding a digit straight inside. Just because I haven’t been fucked in a while doesn’t mean that I haven’t been practicing in the shower these past few weeks. In my mind, I’d always pictured Rico preparing me for our first time together. But right now, doing it myself feels like I’m taking care of him, which is exactly the vibe I want.
He’s panting hard as he holds my hips, his eyes wide as he drinks in what I’m doing. The only question comes from a slight rise of his eyebrows when our gazes collide again. Of course he has to check in at least once to make sure we’re on the same page. I’ve been so hesitant until now, after all.
Not only am I a hundred percent sure this is what I want, I feel like some sort of sex god as I thrust a second finger pastmy fluttering hole. I put on a show for him as the muscles wrap around me in eager anticipation of the fat dick I hope is soon to come.
“You look incredible,” Rico says, already sounding wrecked.
“Want you to fuck me, baby,” I say, rubbing our dripping cocks against each other as I ride my hand, stretching myself out. “Want to feel you inside me.”
“Yes, yes,” Rico hisses, leaning up for a messy kiss on the mouth.
I don’t bother with a third finger. Right now, I want to feel everything as intensely as possible—the opposite of how I used to numb myself and hide away. So instead, I grab the lube bottle again and pour a generous amount over my entrance, pumping my fingers a few more times, then retract my hand and reach down to coat Rico’s hard cock.
The air is heavy with anticipation while I line him up. Sweat runs down my body as we cling to each other, breaths sawing in and out of our chests and our gazes locked together. A moan crawls up my throat as his leaking head breaches my tight ring.
Forget anything I used to chug down my throat or sniff up my nose. This right here is what pure bliss feels like. Being connected in the most intimate way possible to the person I love more than anything else in this life. Rico said I was his world and he’s absolutely mine as well. There’s a whole solar system in this room. Fate drew me into this wonderful man’s orbit, and here’s where I intend to stay.
We grunt and gasp as I impale myself down farther, loving the burn as he fills me to the brim.
“Jesus fucking Christ all mighty,” Rico hisses, gnashing his teeth and arching his back. “You feel amazing, baby. So good. Oh, god. Yes, yes,yes!”
I roll my hips and the blunt tip of his length grazes that sweet spot deep within me, making me wail. “Rico,” I cry, dropping myhands to his chest and digging my fingers against his pecs. “Fuck me, please. Fuck me!”
He seizes around my ribs hard enough to leave bruises as he starts thrusting up into me. Fireworks explode every time he slams against my prostate and my whole body feels like it’s electrified.
“Rico,” I utter, leaning down to kiss his mouth between desperate gasps for air.
“Jesse,” he mumbles against my swollen lips. “Baby, my baby.”
As I hurtle toward my climax, the realization surges through me that by being his, that’s what’s set me free. People have tried to control me and own me my whole life, so I tried to self-destruct as a way to escape. It’s kind of ironic that by pledging myself to one man, I don’t feel tied down. He’s opened up a world of possibilities that I never even knew existed.
I am safe and loved and desired and protected and thriving and have never felt more present or alive in my own skin as I have in this explosive moment.
When Rico wraps his hand around my cock and strokes, it takes about three seconds for me to shatter into a million pieces, blowing my load all over him as I scream the house down. He convulses and I can feel him pulsing as well, claiming me from the inside out.
After several seconds, I collapse on top of him, and he flings his arms around me, hugging me tightly as we both gasp for breath. “I love you, Rico,” I tell him. I’ll tell him a hundred times a day if I need to.
I won’t let my past ruin what promises to be a beautiful future ahead of us. I won’t let my old mistakes or his guilt from the ghosts that haunt him sabotage this beautiful life we’re building together.
Because he’s right. The vision he caught a glimpse of last night absolutely could have been my fate, dozens of times over. It terrified him, but it’s sharpened my resolution. Whoever those lost souls were, they have my heartful pity. I’m sorry they weren’t given a chance at redemption.
I can’t feel guilty that I was. Otherwise, it will be dishonoring their tragedy as well as countless others.
Every day, I meet with people who have taken a stand against addiction and declared that they will fight. That they will no longer be held hostage to the demons that want to tear them down. Some people don’t get the chance to fight. Some start at such a disadvantage they never have a prayer. Some have people in their lives actively working to harm them. Some simply don’t care.
But for whatever reason, the universe sent me a guardian angel. A protector. A friend. A lover. The euphoria flooding me in this moment isn’t only from the gorgeous sex that just rocked my world. It’s from knowing that I’m exactly where I’m supposed to be with exactly who I’m supposed to be with.
I don’t need a ring on my finger to know that for me, this is it. Even if it doesn’t work out for whatever reason, no one will ever come close to Rico Flores.
Call me hopeless, but I can’t help but feel like this could be a forever sort of thing.
And the ring is pretty nice, too.