Page 45 of Up In Smoke

The keys are in my hand. Gravel crunches under my feet. I step inside the white-washed building and once my eyes adjust to the gloom, I see a door to my left, away from the congregation hall. A handwritten sign taped to the glass simply says ‘meeting.’

Before I can change my mind, I push through it, finding myself looking at a circle of people. They turn and face me with tentative but welcoming smiles. There’s a vacant seat for me, almost as if they knew I was coming. Someone asks me to introduce myself.

Time focuses again, and I come out of the blur. I glance toward the door, and the thought crosses my mind that I could still leave. There’s nothing or no one stopping me from walking back out again.

Except for me.

I’m done running.

“Hi,” I say as I sit, my voice shaky and my eyes damp.

I clasp my hands together between my knees and don’t worry about my leg jangling this time. As long as it’s not moving me toward the door, it can do what it likes.

I take a deep breath and try again. “Hi. My name’s Jesse. And…I’m an alcoholic.”

“Hi, Jesse,” the room says back to me.

They make me feel like I’m where I belong.

And they’re right.

CHAPTER 14

Rico

Jesse is late.

Klaus whines from where he’s sitting at my feet and looks up at me. I smile down at him. “It’s okay, boy,” I assure him. “He’ll be here.”

I’m not worried.

Okay, I’m a little worried.

It’s been a few days since I brought Jesse home and everything seems to be going so well. But I can’t quite fully trust it, and I hate myself for that. Just because I want to believe everything’s all right, doesn’t mean it is, though.

I exhale and shift on the sidewalk, looking to the left where I assume Jesse will be driving from. If I jump to conclusions at every little bump in the road, this isn’t going to work. After all, we got through my previous shift without any issues.

But now people know about him.

Sort of.

“Waiting for yourboyfriend,Lieutenant?” Lili crows as she makes her way across the lot.

I grit my teeth, remembering that teasing is the One-Thirteen’s primary love language. If she had any idea how much her words struck a nerve, she’d never say them.

WhyamI feeling so sensitive about this? Yeah, the situation is delicate, but it’s not as if I’d be embarrassed to be involved with Jesse. I know he doesn’t think he’s a catch just because of his past and how he’s picking himself up right now. That stuff doesn’t matter in the long run, though. Hopefully, once he has a job and his own place, he’ll start seeing what I do.

Husband material.

“I don’t have a boyfriend,” I call out to Lili as she reaches her car. It does kind of tickle me that I’m technically right.

“Not yet, anyway,” she fires back with a grin, her keys in hand. Then she pauses and looks around. “Oh, seriously. Is he supposed to be picking you up now?”

“Uh, yeah,” I say, hoping that’s true.

To my dismay, her grin returns, and she starts walking away from her car to come stand by me.

“What are you doing?” I ask with a sigh.