Page 76 of Up In Smoke
If I could growl the way Klaus does, I would have in that moment. I don’t want to think about Jesse in bed with guys who wouldn’t look after him or respect him the way he deserves. Luckily, that’s not an issue anymore.
“I will always take care of you,” I promise, kissing him possessively and loving how he matches my energy immediately. Before we can get too hot and heavy again, though, I pull away with a rueful laugh. “Speaking of which, let’s shower and indulge in an obscene amount of carbs, hmm? We are celebrating, after all.”
He beams at me. “We are, aren’t we?”
Not just the successful interview with the insurance company. But us breaking through another hurdle in our ever-blossoming relationship.
I’m starting to really believe that nothing can stop us now.
CHAPTER 23
Jesse
Sex always usedto leave me feeling kind of ashamed and itchy, no matter how quickly I showered afterward.
What Rico and I shared—have been sharing regularly in the days since—is so far from that it might as well be in another galaxy.
I’m glad I told him the truth about not being sober while fucking for several years. It became such a hollow act for me. Simply an extension of my addiction. Something I could enjoy for a fleeting moment then immediately regret, just like everything else in my life.
I remember every single moment I’ve spent intimately with Rico so far. The way he looks at me and talks to me and touches me is nothing short of miraculous. I’d heard of the word cherished before, but I never understood what it really meant.
Until now.
He makes me feel likeI’mthe gift. Like he’s the privileged one for getting to spend time with me instead of the other way around.
We still haven’t done more than frotting and hand jobs, and yet every time a memory flashes through my mind, I blush as if it’s the most hard-core filth. That makes sense to me, though,because the kinky shit I’ve done in the past was experienced in a numb haze. I might as well have been watching porn on a fuzzy screen for how much it really affected me in the moment.
Afterward, the brutal comedown was always crystal clear, which never really felt fair.
But with Rico, I feel every one of his caresses, every breath that fills my lungs, every cold drop of sweat on my hot skin. I’ve gone from snowy static to full-blown HD, and I’m obsessed.
It’s no surprise everyone at work has noticed. Whenever I perform now, I imagine that Rico is watching me from the shadows, getting off on how I dance and flirt with the customers. Rather than feeling self-conscious, I’m empowered, able to make whoever I’m giving my attention to feel like a million bucks. The guys keep telling me I’ve got a new glow, and I certainly don’t have any trouble filling out my thongs when constant thoughts of my husband keep me half-hard when I’m gyrating, driving the crowd wild.
“Look at you, sugarplum,” Trixie coos as I finish my solo for the night. She holds out her hand to assist me stepping down from the stage. I love when she does that, because she’s so tiny and we’re all so large, it comes across quite comical. But there’s also something maternal about it that makes my heart go all syrupy.
Lucas and Riley hop up on stage in their tiny outfits to sweep up my cash. We all rotate for each other like that. We also get to keep an equal, decent share of all the earnings. It couldn’t be more different than LA.
I move past them and follow Trixie to the area in between the bar and backstage, grinning like a madman. “That felt pretty good,” I admit. Sometimes the choreo, the audience, and the vibes just click.
She scoffs and playfully backhands my chest. “You’re about ready to light up the whole damn town with all that good energyjust radiatin’ off you, hon. Whatever’s got you all in a tingle, I say keep on doin’ it!”
Hopefully, she can’t see how wildly I’m blushing in the dimmed lights of the club. “Um, things are just going really well with my husband right now,” I admit.
She hoots. “Oh, definitely keep doin’ him, in that case.”
“Trixie!” I gasp, but she pulls a face at me.
“Oh, don’t you go actin’ all coy, mister. We’re all grown-ups here.”
It’s difficult to be offended when I’m laughing so hard. But before I can think of a retort, someone pulls my attention away.
“Jesse?”
I blink and look around, mirth giving way to confusion. For a second, I can’t place the scruffy guy leaning against the edge of the bar who’s looking eagerly my way. Then it clicks and my stomach drops.
“Emerson?” I say, stupidly glancing around as if there might be other people from AA lurking in the shadows. “What are you doing here?”
He shrugs and grins at me. “A crazy coincidence, I guess. I couldn’t believe it when I saw you on stage!” He sips what looks like a cola, but something prickles over my skin, and I’m not entirely sure.