Page 54 of Up In Smoke

But I can tell he’s also a bit nervous about my reaction, so I hope he didn’t pick up too much on my initial reservations. My reflex prejudice and ingrained desire to protect him shouldn’t spoil this great accomplishment.

“That’s amazing, man,” I say enthusiastically, giving his arm a friendly slap that makes Klaus bark. “I’m so happy for you.”

I can read the relief on his face and for a second I marvel at that in itself. I do know him so well now that I can interpret his emotions a lot of the time. We’re so close.

Yet he’s also still so far away.

That’s probably a good thing. Whatever I’m feeling for him doesn’t need to complicate everything else he’s got going on.

“I’m happy for me, too,” he admits bashfully. We’re on my sofa together and he’s so gleeful he’s having trouble sitting still. “I basically start right away on a trial basis. Trixie doesn’t want me to feel tied down to anything until we know I’m okay being around an open bar with people drinking.”

I feel my eyebrows raise. “That’s good,” I say truthfully. “So she knows about your sobriety?”

“They all do,” Jesse says, his eyes shining, but he’s beaming at me still. “They were all so kind. I feel like the guys took it as a personal challenge to have my back. They’re like…really protective frat bros.” He laughs but the next second he reaches out and grabs my hands with his own. “I don’t want you to worry about me, Rico. I’m not going to fall off the wagon, I promise. This isn’t like any of the other times I’ve tried to quit. I’ve never felt so supported and…well, that’s because of you. Thank you.”

My ears are ringing and my heart is pounding as I realize I’m gripping his hands back just as tightly. I look up from them into his glassy eyes, my heart filling with…

With love. I’m not entirely sure which kind of love, but I’m done denying that’s not what I’m feeling. Jesse is incredibly important to me, and to see him succeed like this is everything I want.

“I’m here for you, always,” I murmur, like if I speak too loudly, it’ll shatter the moment. “Jesse, I’m so proud of you. You’re really starting the next chapter of your life.”

That’s certainly true.

But I’m not sure how much longer that’ll mean he needs me.

He’s still holding my hands, and he turns the left one over like he’s just noticed what’s under my sleeve. “You’re wearing your bracelet?” he says, his fingers touching the beads he gave to me the day he left Sequoia Heights.

I wonder if he really hasn’t noticed before. “I wear it all the time except for when I’m on shift,” I tell him.

“Really?” he asks softly in disbelief. When he looks up, he’s still cradling my hands in his. I hear the clock ticking on the wall as we look at one another. “Rico…” he starts to say.

Then my damn phone rings.

“Shit, sorry,” I say, reluctantly letting him go to pull it from my back pocket. “I better get it in case it’s the station.”

“No, go ahead, that’s fine.” Jesse’s cheeks are tinged pink as he busies himself fussing over Klaus.

I’m not sure what that moment was about, but I’m kind of already pissed at whoever’s interrupted it. I frown at the unknown number before accepting the call. “Hello?”

“Oh! Hi, there!” the perky woman’s voice comes from down the line. “Is this Enrico Flores?”

“Yes, speaking.”

“Marvelous. This is Angelica Carson from Navigator Insurance. Do you have a minute to talk?”

My stomach drops and my eyes go wide. I can’t help but look at Jesse as I try not to let panic overrun me. “Uh, yeah. Sure. Is everything okay?”

“Wonderful,” Angelica says. “I’m just going over the recent claim you made with the Sequoia Heights Rehabilitation Center, and I was hoping you could answer a couple of questions for me.”

Jesse raises his eyebrows at me and then mouths “What?” I shake my head because obviously I can’t explain right now, but I reach back for his hand.

I know that’s blurring the lines between us yet again. But I can’t lie. I’m a little scared.

“Yes, of course,” I say, hoping I didn’t pause too long before answering. “How can I help?”

“Fantastic. Okay, so the treatment stay was for your husband, correct? A Mr. Silverman?”

“Jesse Silverman, yes,” I confirm.