Page 73 of Up In Smoke
He leans back and we look into each other’s eyes. “I love you,” I tell him earnestly. I have for a long time, but now more than ever, and he needs to hear it for real when there’s no one else around to convince. “I love you so much.”
His expression softens and his fingers curl against my neck and head. “I love you, too, baby,” he says. “I’m so grateful fate brought us back together. I can’t believe I almost lost…I could have lost…”
He closes his eyes and turns away, anguish flashing over his face. But I mirror him and cup my palm to his cheek. “I’m right here, baby,” I say, repeating his words back to him.
He blinks and looks at me again. It’s obvious that word has affected him as well, and that gives me a thrill which tingles all the way down my spine.
Angelica said that we didn’t need luck. She reckoned we were going to be just fine.
But I am so much more than fine as Rico gently guides me to the bed—our bed—and pulls me down with him.
For so long, it’s been all I could do to just survive. With Rico, I’m not simply surviving. I’m more than fine or okay or hanging in there.
I’m thriving.
And now, I think I’m finally ready to give him everything.
CHAPTER 22
Rico
The air is charged.
If I’m being honest, there have been several times recently where Jesse and I have come close to doing more than making out. Reining myself back in from that level of desire wasn’t always easy. I did it, of course, because I could tell Jesse was hesitant about something. I was very determined not to rush into anything and spoil it.
This has meant I’ve spent a considerable amount of time alone in the shower working off some steam, though.
If that’s what’s about to happen again now, I’ll back off immediately, no questions asked. But it really doesn’t feel as if that’s the case. Jesse’s desperation is palpable and I’m prepared to give him everything he wants and needs. We’re long past the point of me worrying whether or not us getting involved is a bad idea or if starting a relationship might derail Jesse’s recovery.
We’re in love. And I am more than ready to explore that sexually.
“I really do love this sweater on you,” I mumble against his lips as I slide my fingers under the hem, just an inch. We’ve done a little of this kind of touching when we’ve made out, but we both know that anything further is going to be unchartered territory.
“I love that you love it on me,” he says back with a grin before his expression becomes more sincere. “No one’s ever bothered to pay that much attention to me. The fact that you notice…that you care…I love that it’s you, Rico. You’ve always been the one who saw me. Is it completely cringe to say that I feel like I’ve been waiting my whole life for you?”
I chuckle and shake my head, then kiss him deeply. “I hate that you were right in front of me this whole time,” I tell him with a sigh, pressing our foreheads together. “I’m sorry it took me so long toreallysee you.”
But he shakes his head against mine. “I think we had to wait for the right place and time. It never would have worked if we’d tried any earlier. I wasn’t ready. I would have ruined it all and you’d have ended up hating me.”
The idea of that kills me. I caress the side of his face and for a moment, we just gaze into each other’s eyes, the heat between us lowering to a simmer. “I reckon I’d have ruined it, too,” I say truthfully. “I wasn’t ready to let anyone in the way they deserved. If it’s not too cringe, Jesse Silverman, I think I’ve spent my whole life waiting for you as well.”
He grins and rubs our noses together. “How about we be cringe together? It can be our little secret.”
I know he’s only joking, but I hold him still and shake my head. “No more secrets. I want you to meet my friends. I want to go out on dates. And…I want to tell Adam everything.”
Jesse winces and chuckles weakly. “I’m probably good with that in theory. But can we just not talk about my brother right now?”
I laugh as well, and just like that we inch closer together again, the tension building between us once more. “We can do whatever you want, baby,” I purr, kissing my way along his jaw.
He quivers in my arms and starts tugging me toward the bed. “I want you,” he practically begs, pawing at my polo shirt. “I want younaked.”
I hum in amusement. “Really? And what would you like to do once I’m naked? Are you going to be naked as well?”
“Uhh.” He pauses with the backs of his legs against the mattress, looking up at me through his golden lashes. I don’t have much height on him, but in moments like these, the difference is enough to give me a protective, macho rush.
If he’ll let me, I want to take care of him in every way possible.
“We don’t have to do anything you’re not a hundred percent happy with,” I tell him, brushing a lock of blond hair back from his forehead. “But just so we’re clear, I’m almost certainly going to be extremely interested in anything you suggest right now.”