Page 74 of Up In Smoke
Jesse nods. “I trust you,” he says, and those words seep all the way down to my bones. I’m not sure there’s anything I want more than that.
Well, my dick has some ideas about what I’d quite like right now. But in fairness, that’sbecauseof the trust.
“What do you want, Jesse?” I ask, trailing kisses against his neck and nibbling on his earlobe. “Do you want me to take your clothes off? Do you want me to make you come?”
“Oh,fuck,”he moans, clinging to the front of my shirt, his eyes screwed shut. “Yes, that. Rico, please.”
“Shh, it’s okay,” I say, hugging him to me and rocking him slightly back and forth.
I press our temples together and for a moment, we just breathe. His hard length is pressing against my thigh, so that assures me that he’s hopefully as turned on as I am. But I can’t help but feel like something else is also going on here.
“We don’t have to do anything too complicated,” I assure him. “It’s been a while for me. So I’m warning you now, I’m likely to come on a hair trigger.”
That gets a laugh out of him and he nods. “Me, too. Uh…I guess I haven’t…it’s been a long time since I had sex…sober. A very long time. I used to get so off my face it would feel like I wasn’t really in my body. I’m not sure how I’m going to react to…”
“Being fully present?” I suggest. He nods again, looking embarrassed. “Hey, it’s totally fine. Thank you so much for telling me. I think so long as we keep talking to each other about what we want or anything that worries us, we’ll be fine. Great, actually.” I grin at him. “We can start simple. But I’m honored that I get to be with you when you’re completely in your mind, body and soul.”
He blinks at me. “That’s so romantic,” he murmurs, then he takes a breath and swallows. “I trust you, Rico. I want to give you everything.”
“There’s no rush,” I remind him. “We don’t have to do everything today. We have all the time in the world.”
The look he gives me is nothing short of wonderous. Perhaps it’s occurring to him in this very moment that it’s not just about being married. I really want a relationship with him. And thanks to that legal technicality, we’re starting from a default of forever.
If I get to spend the rest of my life with this beautiful, talented, kind and thoughtful man, I’ll consider myself very lucky indeed.
“Can we just try…this?” Jesse asks, easing my polo shirt out of where it was tucked into my jeans.
“You mean…this?” I ask back, skimming my hands up his sides, feeling his soft, warm skin as I gently lift his sweater up with the backs of my hands.
Wordlessly, he lets go of me, allowing me to pull the garment over his head and drop it on the floor. Evening is drawing in, giving the room a more intimate feel. Hopefully, if the lighting is a little darker, that might help Jesse be less self-conscious.
I make short work of my shirt, then pull him back against me so we can kiss with our bare stomachs rubbing together. The skin-on-skin contact is electrifying. Damn, he smells so good. I just want to drink him all in. I run my hands up and down his arms, loving how he trembles with pleasure against me.
My fingers drop lower and find his belt buckle. I pause and raise my eyebrows questioningly at him, but he nods back without hesitation, reaching out for my pants in return. Between us, we quickly loosen the belts and unzip, then I take the lead, stepping back and shoving my pants down, slipping my socks off as well so that I’m just left in my boxer-briefs. There’s little left to the imagination from the bulge in my underwear, but something tells me we still need to take that last step carefully.
He watches as I kneel down in front of him and place my hands on either side of his hips, carefully beginning to ease his jeans down his thighs. His chest rises and falls as he keeps his gaze trained on me, his hands resting on my shoulders. I drag his pants all the way down to his ankles, then encourage him to step out of those as well as his socks.
Now we’re both in our underwear. Equal, the way I always want it to be.
“C’mere,” I murmur, taking his hand and pulling him down onto the mattress with me. We kiss, legs tangled as he lays on my chest, one of my hands in his hair and the other clinging to his muscular back. I feel him relax against me, melting into the embrace. Although, it’s obvious that one part of his body at least is getting harder instead of softer.
He grinds against me, and I happily shift more on top so our throbbing lengths line up through our cotton briefs. I canfeel I’m leaking and I imagine he is as well. “What do you want, Jesse?” I mumble against his lips. He whimpers and digs his fingers into my skin, prompting me to think that this is one of those times he’d rather not have to make any decisions. “Do you want to come?”
“God, yes,” he moans, shivering in my arms as tears cling to his long lashes, eyes closed so they fan against his cheeks. “Rico, please touch me.”
“Like this?” I slide my hand between our bellies and under the waistband of his boxer-briefs. My fingers close around his red-hot, rock-hard shaft, and he hisses and gnashes his teeth in response.
I almost come myself at the mere sight of it.
“Yes, yes!” he wails.
I press our temples together and stroke him reverently, loving how he’s clinging to me like a life raft. “I’ve got you. It’s okay, baby. I want to do this together. Am I okay to take the rest of our clothes off?”
“Please, Rico, yes,” he gasps, immediately scrambling at his underwear.
But I still his hands. “Shh, relax,” I tell him, waiting until he lies back down again and takes a couple of breaths, his arms dropping by his sides. “You’re so fucking beautiful,” I say in disbelief, resting on my heels for a moment as I sweep my gaze up and down his body.
Gently, I trail my right hand across his chest, touching my thumb to his pebbled nipple before sliding my palm down to his hip. But then I realize he’s blushing with his eyes closed, his head turned away as he bites his lower lip. He looks uncomfortable.