Page 24 of The Betrayal You Serve

"Shit," he says again.

"I need to get out of this shit, E. I can't keep fucking doing this." I stare out the window into the darkness as I pull at my hair, wishing I could somehow walk away from Victor and everything he continues to demand from me.

"I thought Reid was working on it," Ellis repeats what I told him after he demanded to know where I disappeared to last week when I didn't show up to classes.

Truth is, I have no fucking idea what Reid is up to, other than he's up to something. The bullshit with the shipments has his name all over it, I just have no idea what his game plan is.

I'm hoping that he's planning on wiping Victor from the face of the Earth but we know that it's not just as easy as pulling a trigger. He has his fingers in too many pies, too many allies in places we're not even aware of. It would be fucking suicide to take him out without proper planning.

"Yeah, well, he's not doing it fast enough. I can't live both lives. It's not going to work."

"Is it the two lives or Letty that's getting to you?"

"She fucked them. Both of them the second she thought I screwed up," I say, the words falling from my lips without instruction from my brain. The emotion in my voice makes me wince. It makes me sound weak and I'm anything but fucking weak.

"You went out with Alana Wednesday night. You took her to a hotel," he helpfully points out, making my stomach churn with the memory. "Don't you think it's a bit hypocritical to judge her when she thought you'd gotten someone else pregnant?"

"I don't—fuck. I don't know anything right now, E."

"Well, she's not actually pregnant, so that's something, right?"

I stare at him for a beat, feeling the weight of the devastation Letty must have felt when Alana landed that blow press down on my shoulders.

"Letty got pregnant the night of Skye's party last year."

Ellis's chin drops.

"She lost it at twenty weeks."

He scrubs his hand down his face as my words sink in. "Fuck, Kane."

"Her hearing that Alana was pregnant would have slayed her."

"Shit. How long have you known this?"

"She told me the night of my crash but she never got out that she miscarried. I accused her of aborting it and stormed out."

"A miscarriage at twenty weeks. That's like—"

"Hell?"

"Yeah."

"She didn't tell anyone. She went through it all alone."

He's silent for a few seconds as he stares down at his hands before he lifts his eyes to me. "Kane, you need to talk to her. What she did tonight, fuck. I get it. Can you even imagine how she must have felt?"

I shake my head, emotion clogging my throat at the thought alone.

"She ran to them, E. Both of them."

"Can you blame her? They've always been there for her. All you've done is make her life hard."

"Thanks," I mutter, dropping down onto my bed and tipping the bottle to my lips once again.

"What happened to Alana?"

"I left her with Reid."