Page 7

Kat leaned in to order from the bartender as I placed the phone to my ear, turning a bit to my left for a hint of privacy. As much as I could get in such a crowded place, anyway. I didn’tshow them that anything was unusual, keeping a pleasant smile on my face as I answered.
When I heard my mother’s voice on the other end, the smile vanished and the vibrant night life, chatter, and sounds from the machines turned to dead air.
I could barely make out my mother’s voice, just a few words here and there, but I knew something was wrong. Very wrong. I needed to hear better, so I stood and started walking. I didn’t know where I was going, all I knew was that I needed to find a less noisy location.
My heart raced, and the shock caused my body temperature to drop so low that I was shivering.
He’s dead.I heard her words clear as day as I got to the front of the casino. My heels clipped the large rug at the entrance. I stumbled forward, my short dress riding up and one heel nearly falling off. My knees hit the hard granite flooring and the phone fell from my hand.
Jace is dead.That’s what she said.
I imagine the people around me at the time thought I was drunk. I would have assumed that if I’d seen someone fall the way I had.
Margo Pierce was there to help me. Those damn cocktail rings were digging painfully into my arm as she helped lift me up. I stood there on wobbly legs just trying to breathe, but when I looked into her eyes, I could tell she knew.
I knew in that moment it was real. I could lie to myself, or I could have hung up and driven home, all the while in denial. But the sympathy in her eyes was damning.
I rip my eyes away from hers at the other side of the bar and return back to the girls, back to tonight, leaving that night in the past right where it belongs. I ignore the way my hand itches to drain the wine and order another cabernet and then anotherwhile I push my hair back over my shoulders, trying to relax. Trying to shake off the unwanted memory.
“I think you’re flagged,” Kat says into her glass even as her eyes meet mine. Her sandy brunette hair is colored with a subtle ombre and she’s applied her eyeliner in a cat-eye fashion. I don’t know why, but I can’t stop looking at it. Like if I can just concentrate on her makeup, everything else will leave me alone.
“No such thing,” Sue says, quick to come to my defense, an asymmetric grin gracing her lips. “Drink up, girly.” She gives me a wink and it forces a smile to my face. It didn’t take long for the girls to come find me that night, crying alone in the back of our limo.
With a burn pricking at the back of my eyes, I blink a few times to keep the tears at bay. It was months and months ago, but sometimes the pain comes back full force. I don’t know that it will ever go away and if it does, surely that would be a tragedy. I don’t know where grief and mourning end and my life begins again, but I’d like to find it.
Pushing away the nearly empty glass, I watch the dark liquid pool in the bottom and sigh deeply. I can’t seem to keep a smile on my face. The once easy mask isn’t slipping into place. Progress is all I need, though. I remind myself of my motto: Aim for progress, not perfection.
“Let’s talk about something and someone else,” I suggest. “Is anyone getting laid? One of us must be getting laid, right? At least Kat?” I arch a brow in her direction but her forehead creases in response and the action is followed by a huff and, “Yeah right.”Shit.I forgot she and her husband are going through something.
Way to put my foot in my mouth.
My skin pricks at the back of my neck as I feel another set of eyes on me. The anxiousness comes back and I put on my best fake smile, staring straight ahead as Maddie starts listingoff what was wrong with her last rendezvous. This one was some guy she met online.
The nagging feeling doesn’t quit. I don’t know who it is, but someone’s watching me. It could be the paparazzi but typically every time I go out, they approach me before I even noticed them. I’m a socialite, after all, and I know the intrusion is part of this life.
Debating on taking a casual look over my shoulder, I shake off the paranoia.It’s all in your head, I tell myself. I thought I felt someone watching me earlier, but maybe I was wrong.
“You know enough time has passed.” Sue’s comment from across the table gets my attention. I look up to find her dark eyes twinkling with mischievousness.
“Enough time for what?” Maddie questions Sue. Maddie’s the quintessential younger sister of our group and I swear most of Sue’s comments go right over her head.
Sue motions toward me and it’s only then that I take in her words. I clear my throat and look away, feeling a blush rise to my cheeks. “When I said someone else …” I say playfully and pick up the glass, lifting it high in the air and tilting my head back to get the last few drops.
The girls laugh it off, but there’s a certain gravitas in Sue’s eyes.
She lowers her voice and looks me in the eye as she says, “We just want you to be happy.”
“It’s ‘we’ now?” I ask her, suddenly feeling defensive. They’ve been talking about me behind my back?
Sue shrugs and Kat’s quick to put a hand on top of mine. She twists in her spot and the white leather squeaks under her skinny ass. “We were just making conversation earlier.” My brow rises as she takes in a breath and tries to find the right words.
“We want you happy again,” Maddie says from her seat next to Kat. Her hands make two sharp motions emphasizinghappy againas she leans back and looks straight ahead, avoiding my eyes on her.
Oh my God … is this some kind of intervention?I imagine my face reflects exactly what I’m thinking. Judging by the guilty expressions Kat and Maddie are wearing on their faces, I’m sure it does. Sue is shameless though, back to nursing her drink.
Of course they’d talk about me. I can’t explain why it feels like a betrayal, though. Why my throat seems to go dry and itch as if I’m going to cry. Why wouldn’t they? Everyone else is.
“Hey, Jules.” Kat’s voice is soft, placating even.