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“When?” I ask automatically.
“The fifteenth.”
“Then you still have two weeks to work it out, right?”
“I’m not going to get there.” I can hear the panic in her voice, though she tries to hide it. “I’m behind on other bills, too. Had to cover those with my savings so the electricity didn’t get turned off.”
I hate the sound of that. I don’t want my cousin—my family—to be in a position where she can’t afford basic necessities. She already works two jobs. Waitressing doesn’t always make ends meet. Today is a perfect example of that.
“Kenzie.” I try to sound as calm and reasonable as I can. “Are you sure you don’t want to?—”
“Don’t say I should move in with you, Maddie. I don’t have the cash for that, either. It’s just too far.”
This is the worst part about Kevin leaving. Looking back, it’s obvious that I wasn’t happy with him. He wasn’t going to be in love with me no matter how hard I tried. That’s a tough lesson to keep learning from men, and I’m determined not to have to learn it again.
But at least when we were together, money was no object. I could send Kenzie what she needed to get by and hope that it would be enough to get her where she needed to go.
Ugh. I wish I’d ignored him about quitting my job. My grandmother was right when she told me to keep a separate savings account and build it up as much as I could. If I’d followed her advice, I wouldn’t need help covering the rent.
Then again, Graham Maxwell never would have come to my apartment. My thighs tighten and I have to close my eyes and shut down the memory.
“Kenz, I really, really want to be the person you can count on,” I begin.
She huffs a sigh, and I know it’s out of disappointment and desperation. I know thatexactfeeling because that’s how I felt when I woke up this morning. It’s probably a pipe dream to think that I’ll ever live a worry-free life.
“I just can’t cover this month. I’m sorry. I barely made the rent.”
“I don’t get it.” Traffic goes by in the background, making her voice sound even shakier than it is. My heart hurts for her. I know what it’s like to be on your own with your life constantly on the brink. “What went so wrong with Kevin?”
“He cheated on me. You know that’s what happened.”
“Couldn’t you have?—”
“Couldn’t I have donewhat?” This day has been a rollercoaster, and now I’m heading up another high hill, frustrated as all get out. I’m guilty of blaming myself for Kevin leaving but hearing it from another person reminds me that it’s bullshit. “Convinced him not to cheat? Been better somehow? I did everything he asked me to do.”
“I know, I know,” she says, softening. “I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to accuse you of anything, I just?—”
“It’s fine. It’ll be okay,” I tell Kenzie. “All of this will work out. We just have to?—”
“Keep trying?” My cousin lets out a bitter laugh. “I knew you’d say that. I gotta go. I’m almost at work.”
“Okay, but?—”
She hangs up before I can finish my sentence and the guilt weighs heavy in my chest.
“I’ll always be here for you,” I shout at the phone. “That’s what I was going to say. I’ll be here for you, I just don’t have themoneyyou need.” Tears sting the corner of my eyes and my throat goes dry.
I whirl away from the window, frustrated beyond belief, and as I do, the phone flies out of my hand.
It tumbles through the air in slow motion and hits the window much harder than I thought it would.
It hits the window so hard that it cracks. All the blood drains from my face and my hands go cold.
“No!” I shout, and rush to the window. The phone’s landed on the floor with only a minor scuff on the case, but the window has a crack in it.
A crack. In the giant picture window.Shit.
Shit, shit, shit.