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“I don’t know what Evan’s thinking right now, but this isn’t him. He isn’t like this.”
“Either way, I don’t blame him.”
I don’t know what to say back. There’s a tension between us that’s different from what I anticipated.
“I don’t like the way I saw him treat you,” Jacob states with a softened voice and then raises up his hands as if expecting me to protest. “I know I only saw a small piece.” He licks his lower lip and adds, “I just didn’t like it. So, if he’s going to take it out on me instead, I’ll take it.”
“It’s not like that,” I say, attempting to stop what he’s insinuating. “Evan doesn’t take anything out on me.”
“It’s just something about what I see between you guys. It gets to me.”
“Between us?”
“How you obviously care for him, even though it’s killing you,” he answers with a sadness in his eyes that could rival mine.
“Either way,” he continues, “I’m sorry and you don’t have a reason to be, so … let’s just agree to let it stay in the past?”
“I didn’t anticipate you being the one apologizing today.”
Jacob shrugs and it’s then I get an even better look at the faint bruise on his jaw. With the rough stubble, it almost blends in, but when I catch sight of it again, I cringe.
Jacob smiles at me and a masculine chuckle makes his T-shirt tighten on his broad shoulders.
“Seriously, Kat,” he tells me and moves his hand to the table, turning it so it’s palm up. “Don’t worry about it. I can see where he’s coming from.”
Jacob’s gaze flickers to his white mug. I glance down at it; it’s chai, and a warmth flows through me at the thought of getting myself one.
“So, we’re all good?” I ask him.
He shrugs again and takes a sip from his drink. “If you’re okay?” he finally answers, andokayis not exactly the word I’d use to describe myself right now.
“For you, miss,” a woman to my right announces, startling me and catching me by surprise. The barista I barely noticed when I first walked in sets down a mug identical to Jacob’s in front of me. The warming aroma of cinnamon mixed with nutmeg hits me immediately and I welcome the scent.
“Thank you,” I tell her although my eyes are on Jacob.
“I thought you’d like it,” he says, answering the unspoken question with a grin. “I know the shop is new, but I’ve had their chai almost every day and you have to try it,” he tells me like we’re good friends. Like we know each other well. After a moment he adds, “Great place to write.”
“I can see that.” I swallow, feeling a stir of something else in my chest. It pulls at my heart.Guilt.I feel like I’m cheating.
Evan and I are separated; I remind myself again. With all the crap Evan’s done and put me through, it’s over. It has to be.
So this, this little distraction … I refuse to stop it when it makes me feel something other than the turmoil that has been plaguing me.
My hands wrap around the mug and they warm instantly as I take a good long look around the place. The brick walls and picture frames make it cozy and inviting. With the dark wooden tables and wicker furniture, I could see how a writer could make themselves comfy in a corner chair. Using both hands to lift the mug, I take a small sip and then another, much longer one, feeling the warmth flow through my cold chest. And then a third. Even though I feel less consumed with regret about the fight between Jacob and Evan, a different feeling is washing over me.
“So, what do you think?”
I have to blink away my thoughts and try to figure out what he’s referring to before a bright blush rushes to my cheeks.
“The chai,” he adds comically and nods at my hands.
“It’s good,” I say with a half-hearted smile and then see the bruise again. “I just …” Why can’t I stop apologizing and let it go?
A half-hearted smile graces his lips and it’s quiet for a short moment. “Kat, I don’t really like your ex.”
Ex.
My heart hammers and my blood feels as if it’s draining from my body, leaving me cold. “I can see why,” I respond easily enough, although I can’t look him in the eyes.