Page 161
Story: Sins & Secrets
“I’m sorry. It was an accident.”
“It’s always an accident. Always a mistake. Why do you do this? Why do you put yourself in these situations?” She screams at me with a rage I know she’s had pent up inside of her for a while now. I’m too old to be this stupid. I never should have continued working for James once her career took off. But the money and the lifestyle were so addicting. It was a high I couldn’t refuse.
“I told you, I quit. I’m not going to put myself in—” As I shake my head, trying to get out the words, I can’t remember a damn thing I’d planned on saying.
“It’s too little, too late, Evan,” Kat says, cutting me off before leaving me alone in the room, whipping around and not bothering to say another word. I stare at her back as she storms up the stairs.
I’ve never felt this way before in my life. Like I’ve hurt the one person in the world who would never hurt me. Like I betrayed her. Like I’m not worth a damn thing.
And there’s no way to make that right.
I don’t know how to make any of this right.
KAT
I knew the truth,
I didn’t want to believe.
But deep in my gut,
The agony did seethe.
Call me a fool,
Say what you will.
But I can’t help it,
I love him still.
Ican’t stop thinking about how Evan fucked her. Samantha is … the opposite of me. Everything about her is exactly the opposite. Disgust doesn’t begin to cover it. All I can imagine is how that night would have played out had his mother not called him. If tragedy hadn’t stepped in to intervene. He fucked her, and then what? Was he going to bail on our date or was he still planning on seeing me?
I should be focused on the fact that he told me he needed an alibi. The fact that only weeks ago he was doing shit he knows iswrong and could send him to jail. But that’s the man he’s always been. I knew better than to turn a blind eye, but that’s exactly what I’ve been doing, isn’t it?
It’s an odd feeling, like waking up from a long and deep sleep or having a blindfold taken off after wearing it for days. Has it always been this way?
I knew what kind of life he was leading and the risks that came with it. I didn’t do a damn thing about it. I should be ashamed, mortified.
And yet all I can think about is him fucking her.
Not to mention how many times I’ve seen that woman at events and socialized with her. Not once did she make it seem like anything had happened between them. She comes off sweet and innocent. She’s slim like me, but taller and she prefers soft, muted colors. Samantha always has perfectly manicured, pale pink nails. She pretties herself up like a little doll, prim and proper. I never would have expected it. I remember how genuinely happy for me she seemed when she gushed over my engagement ring.
That fucking bitch.
The door to my office opens behind me, the telltale creak forcing my eyes to shoot open. They narrow as I see his reflection on the black computer screen. I don’t even know if the damn thing is on anymore or how long I’ve been sitting here. All I’ve done is stare at a worn spot on my desk and think about how he fucked her, even knowing he was going to see me only hours later.
What would have happened if his mother hadn’t chosen that moment to tell him to come home and that she wasn’t well? Maybe that would have been the night he chose to break it off with me. After all, every day with him was like ticking off a checkbox. I knew it wasn’t going to last. I was waiting for it to end.
Marie screwed me over by telling him.
“Kat.” Evan calls my name from behind me. Hearing his voice causes a shudder to run down my spine. It’s a slow one that sends a chill over my body.
“I’m going to do everything I can to prove to you how much I love you.”
“Do I even know you?” Even as I whip around and sneer at him a sick voice in the back of my head answers me.Yes. Yes, you knew what you were doing. You knew the man you married.
“You’re the only one who does,” he answers, looking me in the eyes as his broad shoulders fill the doorframe to my office. “You know I love you.”
“It’s always an accident. Always a mistake. Why do you do this? Why do you put yourself in these situations?” She screams at me with a rage I know she’s had pent up inside of her for a while now. I’m too old to be this stupid. I never should have continued working for James once her career took off. But the money and the lifestyle were so addicting. It was a high I couldn’t refuse.
“I told you, I quit. I’m not going to put myself in—” As I shake my head, trying to get out the words, I can’t remember a damn thing I’d planned on saying.
“It’s too little, too late, Evan,” Kat says, cutting me off before leaving me alone in the room, whipping around and not bothering to say another word. I stare at her back as she storms up the stairs.
I’ve never felt this way before in my life. Like I’ve hurt the one person in the world who would never hurt me. Like I betrayed her. Like I’m not worth a damn thing.
And there’s no way to make that right.
I don’t know how to make any of this right.
KAT
I knew the truth,
I didn’t want to believe.
But deep in my gut,
The agony did seethe.
Call me a fool,
Say what you will.
But I can’t help it,
I love him still.
Ican’t stop thinking about how Evan fucked her. Samantha is … the opposite of me. Everything about her is exactly the opposite. Disgust doesn’t begin to cover it. All I can imagine is how that night would have played out had his mother not called him. If tragedy hadn’t stepped in to intervene. He fucked her, and then what? Was he going to bail on our date or was he still planning on seeing me?
I should be focused on the fact that he told me he needed an alibi. The fact that only weeks ago he was doing shit he knows iswrong and could send him to jail. But that’s the man he’s always been. I knew better than to turn a blind eye, but that’s exactly what I’ve been doing, isn’t it?
It’s an odd feeling, like waking up from a long and deep sleep or having a blindfold taken off after wearing it for days. Has it always been this way?
I knew what kind of life he was leading and the risks that came with it. I didn’t do a damn thing about it. I should be ashamed, mortified.
And yet all I can think about is him fucking her.
Not to mention how many times I’ve seen that woman at events and socialized with her. Not once did she make it seem like anything had happened between them. She comes off sweet and innocent. She’s slim like me, but taller and she prefers soft, muted colors. Samantha always has perfectly manicured, pale pink nails. She pretties herself up like a little doll, prim and proper. I never would have expected it. I remember how genuinely happy for me she seemed when she gushed over my engagement ring.
That fucking bitch.
The door to my office opens behind me, the telltale creak forcing my eyes to shoot open. They narrow as I see his reflection on the black computer screen. I don’t even know if the damn thing is on anymore or how long I’ve been sitting here. All I’ve done is stare at a worn spot on my desk and think about how he fucked her, even knowing he was going to see me only hours later.
What would have happened if his mother hadn’t chosen that moment to tell him to come home and that she wasn’t well? Maybe that would have been the night he chose to break it off with me. After all, every day with him was like ticking off a checkbox. I knew it wasn’t going to last. I was waiting for it to end.
Marie screwed me over by telling him.
“Kat.” Evan calls my name from behind me. Hearing his voice causes a shudder to run down my spine. It’s a slow one that sends a chill over my body.
“I’m going to do everything I can to prove to you how much I love you.”
“Do I even know you?” Even as I whip around and sneer at him a sick voice in the back of my head answers me.Yes. Yes, you knew what you were doing. You knew the man you married.
“You’re the only one who does,” he answers, looking me in the eyes as his broad shoulders fill the doorframe to my office. “You know I love you.”
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