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“It’s nothing serious.” The words sound defensive even to me. I don’t want her to judge me or to hate me. I just want her to understand. Out of all the girls, I think she will. More thananything, I know I want to get out of here with a stranger. It makes me feel dirty and shameful, but right now it’s what I want.
“Nothing serious?” she says. “It is for me,” Sue. My lungs stall at her words. She shifts her weight and looks over her shoulder toward our booth. I can’t see either Kat or Maddie, although I’m sure they’re still there. “You need this.” Sue stares into my eyes, the look so serious I’m caught off guard.
“The question is,” she says as she lowers her voice and leans into me, “are we telling the others?” Oh, thank the good Lord. I let out a breath I didn’t know I was holding. When she pulls away, gripping my elbows in her hands and winking at me, I know everything’s going to be okay.
I hesitate, glancing back at Mason and then I bite the inside of my cheek. “I don’t want to lie to them,” I tell her honestly.
“Then you two slip out the back. Do it fast before I go tell them and before Jasper can get his scrawny, organic, vegan-eating ass inside.”
I snicker at Sue’s response, but the reality of what I’m doing is settling in. I lean forward as Sue lets go and I grip her hand before she can turn and leave me alone with my soon-to-be one-night stand.
“Tell me I’m not a bad person.” The words slip out before I can think about what I’m saying. I try to keep the smile on my face, but it wavers.
“Getting laid doesn’t make anyone a bad person.”
I nod my head, willing the emotions to go back to being buried deep inside of me as if they don’t deserve to surface in this moment.
“Unless he’s married,” she adds quickly and I chuckle.
The bit of humor helps me feel a sense of relief, but it’s small. Her expression softens. “You just need a little something to kick-start your happiness again.”
To happiness.
“I do.” I nod my head.
True to her nature, Sue ignores the way my voice cracks as she takes a half step closer to me. “Then get over there already. The sooner you leave, the sooner he can be fucking you with your ankles pinned behind your head?—”
A laugh escapes me before she can finish. “Can you even put your legs behind your head?”
“For the right man, I can do a lot of things.” She looks at Mason, then to me.
“Just have fun tonight,” she says, keeping things light but it’s calming.
I nod my head as she turns from me, leaving me alone with Mason.
Alone to do bad things and make bad decisions. But at least I’m doingsomething.
Alcohol helps. I can always blame it on the alcohol.
It’s then that I notice a few eyes watching. Including Margo, who’s taking covert glances. That’s when he wraps his arm around my waist and pulls me into him, bringing my back against his front as he whispers in my ear.
“You ready to go?” he asks, his warm breath traveling down my skin and making my body feel alive for the first time in several months.
I don’t care that everyone can see. The city can talk; I’ll deny it all.
“Will you hold me afterward?” I whisper my one request before I realize what I’ve said.
His body stills behind me and I close my eyes, hating that I’ve ruined this before it’s even started. It’s a one-night stand, nothing more. No emotions.
“Until the morning?” he asks me. My heart beats again, in rhythm with his.
I nod my head, my hair rubbing against his hard chest and his thumb brushing against the black fabric of my dress.
Just until morning.
MASON
Will you hold me afterward?