Page 362
Story: Sins & Secrets
Graham’s quiet for a minute, looking down at his plate. Then he looks back up at me.
“What I spend my money on is my choice. And if I want to give it all to you, that is for me to concern myself with, not you.”
“It doesn’t change that I was scared you’d think a certain way or that…” It takes me a minute to find my voice. “I thought I was losing you, too. I just thought that you wouldn’t want to keep doing that when it was clear I didn’t have another option and that I was hard on money.”
“Did you have another option when we started?” He asks in his logical sensical way.
“No,” I say slowly. “But my feelings weren’t as complicated.”
He nods as if he understands, and my heart pounds.
“Okay.” Graham takes out his phone. “First off, I’m going to take care of these problems.”
“Which problems?” I feel sick. I don’t want him to think for one second that I only want his money.
“All of them.”
“Graham, I don't want your?—”
“I would like it if you would allow me to do what makes me happy, my little temptress.” He holds my gaze and then gives me an asymmetrical smile. “Let me do this simply because I want to.”
“I want you because I want you,” I tell him and hope he believes it.
“And I want you because I want you,” he responds, and I do believe it. I believe him. This time when tears prick they’re for a different reason, but I push the emotions down.
“And as for your job?—”
“You can’t get me my job back.”
“You don’t want that job back,” he says simply, and he’s right. “But if you want to search for one, I will help however I can. And if you don’t want one and want to go back to charity work, I will help however I can there as well.”
“You’re too good to me,” I whisper and there’s a voice so loud begging me to tell him that I love him. That this is more to me than what we said it was.
“I’m fixing it,” he says, steel in his eyes. “Tell me about the loan companies. Do you have the information, or is there someone I need to call to get it?”
“I…I have all the information. I’ve been helping Kenzie with these for years.” I manage to get up out of my seat and get my phone, then scroll through my inbox until I’ve found the ones with the account numbers.
Graham is still seated next to me and he sees. He takes his own phone out rather than taking mine. He doesn’t dial the number of the service department at the student loan servicer. He calls the president of the company, at home, after business hours. He tells me to eat, kissing my forehead before disappearing into the back office.
How could I possibly eat? I push the food around on the plate praying, all the while hoping, I can text my cousin that she doesn’t have to worry any longer. She only moved out there because I convinced her to follow her dreams. I set her up for failure like I did myself. If Graham can fix this, I will owe him more than just a blow job or anal.
Kenzie’s loans are gone in less than twenty minutes, vanished into thin air.
Then he moves on to my aunt’s medical bills. That takes closer to thirty minutes, because some of the bills have gone into collections.
Those are gone before I can finish my glass of wine. I’m practically dizzy with disbelief. I know he’s wealthy. Wealthier than my ex and wealthier than most. But I didn’t realize just how much money he had.
I can’t stop thanking him and I don’t even know how to tell Kenzie or my aunt.
“I told you this would be easy for me to do and that I wanted to do it.”
Finally, Graham puts his phone face down on the table, and I put mine down, too. It’s like the weight of the world has been lifted off my shoulders. I’ve been worrying about my cousin for so long that I can’t remember what it’s likenotto worry about her.
“Graham, I don’t know how I could ever repay you.”
“I’m not asking you to,” he tells me, and my gaze drops to my plate. I’m grateful but I also feel so inadequate.
“I wish there was something I could do,” I finally manage.
“What I spend my money on is my choice. And if I want to give it all to you, that is for me to concern myself with, not you.”
“It doesn’t change that I was scared you’d think a certain way or that…” It takes me a minute to find my voice. “I thought I was losing you, too. I just thought that you wouldn’t want to keep doing that when it was clear I didn’t have another option and that I was hard on money.”
“Did you have another option when we started?” He asks in his logical sensical way.
“No,” I say slowly. “But my feelings weren’t as complicated.”
He nods as if he understands, and my heart pounds.
“Okay.” Graham takes out his phone. “First off, I’m going to take care of these problems.”
“Which problems?” I feel sick. I don’t want him to think for one second that I only want his money.
“All of them.”
“Graham, I don't want your?—”
“I would like it if you would allow me to do what makes me happy, my little temptress.” He holds my gaze and then gives me an asymmetrical smile. “Let me do this simply because I want to.”
“I want you because I want you,” I tell him and hope he believes it.
“And I want you because I want you,” he responds, and I do believe it. I believe him. This time when tears prick they’re for a different reason, but I push the emotions down.
“And as for your job?—”
“You can’t get me my job back.”
“You don’t want that job back,” he says simply, and he’s right. “But if you want to search for one, I will help however I can. And if you don’t want one and want to go back to charity work, I will help however I can there as well.”
“You’re too good to me,” I whisper and there’s a voice so loud begging me to tell him that I love him. That this is more to me than what we said it was.
“I’m fixing it,” he says, steel in his eyes. “Tell me about the loan companies. Do you have the information, or is there someone I need to call to get it?”
“I…I have all the information. I’ve been helping Kenzie with these for years.” I manage to get up out of my seat and get my phone, then scroll through my inbox until I’ve found the ones with the account numbers.
Graham is still seated next to me and he sees. He takes his own phone out rather than taking mine. He doesn’t dial the number of the service department at the student loan servicer. He calls the president of the company, at home, after business hours. He tells me to eat, kissing my forehead before disappearing into the back office.
How could I possibly eat? I push the food around on the plate praying, all the while hoping, I can text my cousin that she doesn’t have to worry any longer. She only moved out there because I convinced her to follow her dreams. I set her up for failure like I did myself. If Graham can fix this, I will owe him more than just a blow job or anal.
Kenzie’s loans are gone in less than twenty minutes, vanished into thin air.
Then he moves on to my aunt’s medical bills. That takes closer to thirty minutes, because some of the bills have gone into collections.
Those are gone before I can finish my glass of wine. I’m practically dizzy with disbelief. I know he’s wealthy. Wealthier than my ex and wealthier than most. But I didn’t realize just how much money he had.
I can’t stop thanking him and I don’t even know how to tell Kenzie or my aunt.
“I told you this would be easy for me to do and that I wanted to do it.”
Finally, Graham puts his phone face down on the table, and I put mine down, too. It’s like the weight of the world has been lifted off my shoulders. I’ve been worrying about my cousin for so long that I can’t remember what it’s likenotto worry about her.
“Graham, I don’t know how I could ever repay you.”
“I’m not asking you to,” he tells me, and my gaze drops to my plate. I’m grateful but I also feel so inadequate.
“I wish there was something I could do,” I finally manage.
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