Page 89 of Phoenix's Fire

"I like that," I agreed.

"And that you blush a lot," he teased.

I glanced away, feeling my face heat up. "Quit."

"But it's cute."

"It's stupid," I mumbled. "You're not really interested in me."

"I do think you're pretty," he said softly, looking over to the kitchen. "If I was going to stay, I think you'd be the kind of wife I'd want, but we wouldn't have many children."

"Our place is to be fruitful."

"And men talk about consummation. Many of the gatherers have been married more than once." He reached over to dip his spoon into the mash again. "They laugh about their wives not being able to push them off. I don't think I want to do that part."

"But..."

He shook his head as if he knew what I was thinking, but was too shy to say. "I like when you hold my arm. I like how you make me feel like I'm protecting you. I like how you devour our snack in front of me, and the way you relax as we spend time together. It makes me feel like I have a friend, I guess."

"Men and women are not friends," I pointed out. "We're husbands and wives.We treat our husband as our lord. As a man, you should be cared for, and a good wife will provide children to inherit your items and name."

"Didn't really like my father. Not too attached to my name. I did love my mother. I love learning how things work. I really like talking to you, too. I like that you listen and challenge me. You don't just roll your eyes and act like you're trying to make me go away, or giggle brainlessly while struggling not to show disapproval on your face."

"But you encouraged everyone to do that by pretending to be the fool."

"Doesn't mean I like it," he countered.

Which was a good point. I'd convinced everyone I was a very meek and obedient woman, but that didn't mean I wanted to be one. I only did it to avoid the punishment I'd get for breaking any rules.

"I like that having you court me means Mr. Cassidy has stopped reminding me of my list." I snuck a glance at him. "And Ms. Lawton is proud of me. She keeps saying I will make an excellent wife."

"Because your roommates didn't."

I murmured and reached for another bite. "That's what happens when women talk, though. We realize we're not all happy. It's why we're not supposed to gossip, because the less we know, the more alone we are, and then our husbands and elders can make our decisions for us."

"Yeah, and for men, we have to earn our privileges. They make everything we do into a challenge. Even as boys, our lessons are a way to show who is the best. That's carried over into our work as adults. The ones who do the best or the most are the ones who get the best things. Doesn't matter if that's the schedule, the days off, or the rewards. And to make sure of it, the best tend to sabotage the rest."

"But that doesn't help anyone," I breathed.

"It helps the one getting the rewards." He paused. "That includes wives, Callah. See, they only let me court you because I used to carry back so much food. I'm stronger, so I could make fewer trips, right? Well, other men are told to court the widows. To talk to the unattractive women. But to get a beautiful woman? I had to agree to be a hunter for that."

"What do you mean?" I asked. "We're allowed to accept or decline a proposal. We're the ones who make the decision."

"Unless there's only one suitor," he said. "See, that's the thing. Bronna Chambers? She will marry Mr. Morgan. No one else will try to ask, because Mr. Morgan announced that he'd spoken for her. As an elder, they get to pick, and trying to go against them will end up with the man moved to the worst duties imaginable - like sanitation! So the rest of us merely scramble for the leftovers."

"So I'm a leftover?" I asked.

He made a face. "Only because of Ayla and Meri. Many think you'll decide to be as troublesome. But what I'm trying to say is we men are pushed into our roles the same way you women are. The difference is they're willing to kill us off to keep you ladies from desiring a younger or more caring man. The elders get first pick. The leaders come next. After that, there are a dozen more ways we're ranked amongeach other, and the weakest men are moved out of the way. The same goes for our rooms, our items, and even our duties. And any man who causes a problem? He's sent to the fungus farm and left in the darkness until he's forgotten about."

"I thought we were supposed to be proving ourselves righteous enough to return to the Earth?" Because that was what we were taught every day.

Tobias grunted softly. "Yeah. But the Earth is fine. The elders know it, and we gatherers - er, hunters - do too. Um, we're not allowed to say anything. The one man who tried? He was said to have been killed by a Dragon."

"But he wasn't?"

Tobias shook his head. "His partner shot him. He was rewarded for it. Now he's a team leader for the hunters."

"Oh," I breathed.