Page 85 of Phoenix's Fire
For some reason, that angered me more than all the rest. The thought of treating another person like some game to be played? Never mind the way these men talked about women! They acted like the only thing they were good for was fornication and cleaning. And yet, for my entire life, I'd somehow managed to keep my chambers clean just fine on my own. I didn't need Callah to do it for me.
So the next free day I had, I made my way to her door. Walking through the barren halls made my insides clench. My boots thudded on the hard floor like an announcement I was here. A few times, I saw doors crack and faces peeking through the gap.
The girls' wing might look the same as the boys', but the feel of it was different. There, it had been loud and rambunctious. Here, it was almost guarded and much too still. I'd memorized Callah's room when Ms. Lawton had taken me there thefirst time, and I was allowed to walk with her after dinner as much as I wanted. This was expected. Still, the moment I stopped before her room, my heart sped up even more.
I knocked.
It took a little too long, but when Callah opened the door, my lips curled into a smile. She'd put her hair up with a white ribbon. Curls fell from the knot down to her shoulders, and the pinkish-gold color of them made her almost-green eyes stand out even more. Her dress was a powder grey with white trim, and her slippers looked like they'd recently been cleaned.
"You look lovely," I said. "Um, I wondered if you were busy, or maybe you'd like to walk with me again?"
"Maybe a trip past the laundry?" she suggested. "And after that, we can share a tea in the dining hall?"
I gallantly held my arm out the way I had the last time. She'd liked that, right? I felt like an idiot when I did it - until she reached up to wrap her tiny little hand around my elbow. Her touch was so light and soft. As I turned, I realized her steps were small too, so I shortened my stride, deciding I wasn't in a hurry for this to end.
"I'm sorry I've been busy," I told her, aware anyone could be listening on the other side of these doors. "I have a lot to learn about hunting, it seems."
"I'm sure you will be a mighty hunter," she replied, just as expected. "I'm honestly surprised they put you with the gatherers. A man of your stature?"
I chuckled once at that, but when we reached the end of the hall and turned, I leaned in and lowered my voice. "I'm too dumb to hunt, remember?"
"And evidently a very attractive prospect," Callah replied with a devious smile. "A few of the girls in sermon let me know how lucky I am to have your attention."
My feet slowed. "Really?"
Callah pulled me forward. "Yes, Tobias. You are muscular, attractive, and not prone to anger."
"Well, getting angry only gets me in trouble, so I've learned not to," I explained.
She ducked her head and laughed once. "Tobias, I'm saying you're kind and gentle. Those are good things."
"Not for a man."
"But they are to a woman," she told me. "It means you're less likely to hit us."
Okay, I hadn't thought of it like that. The guys always said I was too dumb to get angry, but the truth was, it felt pointless. Why rant and scream about things when it wouldn't change it? I preferred todosomething about it instead. That was the whole reason I'd even said anything to Callah.
For a bit, we walked in silence. She hung on my arm, looking up at me with those pretty eyes of hers. One of the wives passed us, going the other way, and smiled. More turned to watch as we made our way through the public hallway. All of it made me feel like a spectacle, but Callah just leaned in so she could clasp my arm with her other hand as well.
The truth was, I liked it. Okay, so I liked her, but I didn't really know her well. I just knew she'd been Ayla's roommate - and only because the other guys talkedabout it. Her pink-gold hair stood out among the Righteous, and quite a few of them liked it. Well, I did too, but mostly I liked that she wasn't vapid like the other girls were around me.
Shedidn't try to fake it like that. Every time I talked to Callah, I felt like she was daring me to dismiss her. Where other girls would change who they were to impress a man, Callah acted more like I should be impressing her. The strange thing was that I wanted to. Not just because she knew my secret, but because the more I got to know her, the more amazing I realized she was - because she let me actually see it.
But when we made another turn, Callah let out a heavy sigh and released me. "So, we've been seen," she said, gesturing to a dark hall at the side. "That means we can disappear for a few minutes without anyone noticing."
"That's the way to the well," I said.
"Mhm," she agreed. "It's lit, it's private but not too private, and we'll be able to hear anyone coming before they can overhear us."
So I turned that way, not surprised when she stayed at my side. It didn't take long before we were out of sight, but Callah kept me walking until we reached the railing that surrounded the opening to our water pump machinery.
"They say we're supposed to look into the darkness and make a wish," she said, leaning over the rail to stare down that very deep hole.
"What would you wish for?" I asked, moving beside her.
She didn't take her eyes off the abyss. "I wish that Ayla and Meri are not only alive, but thriving - wherever they are."
"I wish I knew how to talk to them," I breathed, examining the darkness myself.
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