Page 53 of Phoenix's Fire

Instead, he'd hated me. When I'd told him the child wasn't his and he'd immediately believed it? That had been when I was sure of it. He didn't know me, didn't love me, and actually despised me. All he wanted from me was this child, and if it killed me, then he'd just find himself another wife - and she would probably be better than me.

But now I was stuck with this thing. I could feel it moving inside me, shifting as I walked. It was a part of him lodged in my body, and I hadn't asked for this. I hadn't been ready to have a child! Sadly, I didn't get a choice. Ms. White had told me how impressive it was that I'd conceived so fast. She said it was proof God looked favorably on our union. I had a feeling it was simply how often Gideon had wanted to fornicate.

This was my lot. It was too late to go back, but I would if I could. I didn't want to raise his child! I didn't want to suffer as I expelled it. I certainly didn't want to die because of it! Ayla made this place sound like it was a new beginning, but as I reached down to cradle the weight of my growing child, I knew that was only true for her.

I was going to be a mother, whether I liked it or not. Gideon had claimed me, he'd created the next generation in me, and he'd made sure he would always control my future. And once this baby was born, I would no longer be needed.

Hopefully, this child would have a chance to learn new things. I'd come here because I'd been desperate for a miracle, but not even Ayla could change things now. My fate was sealed. Every day brought me closer to it, to motherhood.

"There she is!" Brielle said.

I wiped at my eyes again, surprised to see Ayla flipping through brightly-colored cloth that was even more impressive than the ceilings they had here. Beside her, Jeera was talking to a woman behind a table. Like this, they both fit in so easily, but I felt like I did nothing but stand out.

"Are you sure I'm allowed to be here?" I asked one more time.

"You're fine," Brielle said the same way she had each time I asked.

But Ayla's head snapped up. "Meri? Hey!" Lifting her hand in a wave, she hurried towards me. "Are you okay?"

"I'm..." I glanced around us at all the men. "Ayla, are you sure the men won't be angry?"

"No!" she said around a laugh, then began to look around. Finally, she pointed off to my right. "See?"

I blinked hard until my eyes cleared, then found a copper-skinned woman withher own pregnant belly hanging out. Her shirt was barely more than one of my bras, and her bottoms were less than pants but more than underwear. Beside her, a pair of Dragons leaned in to look at the same thing she was appreciating.

"Women are allowed to do things here, Meri," Ayla explained. "Even pregnant ones. There's no shame in it for Dragons, and they don't mind women's things."

I nodded, sure she was right, but unable to shake this nervous feeling. "Okay. I just don't want to make a mistake already."

"You're doing great," Jeera said as she joined us. Then she pointed to the side. "Mom's clinic is this way. Are you able to make it that far?"

I nodded. "I'm fine."

"She keeps saying that," Brielle told Jeera.

"Because we weren't allowed to be anything but fine," Ayla explained, talking to these two the same way she'd always talked to Callah and me. "She's probably tired, but it's cooler in the clinic, and much darker."

"Oh, her eyes!" Jeera said, wrapping an arm around my shoulders and turning me a bit. "Okay. Let's get you inside so you aren't blind. Just tell me if we go too fast or if you need a break?"

"I'm okay," I swore, trying to convince myself I really was.

But the truth was I'd never walked this much in my life. For the last few months, I'd barely done more than walk to the end of the hall we'd lived on. This? It felt good, but it also made my back so tired. Holding my stomach helped, though.

With Ayla on one side and Jeera supporting me on the other, we walked even more. There was a grassy area, and some bigger plants that we passed. To the side, I saw a flat thing with strange words on it, but behind it? That was the building we seemed to be heading to.

It had a few doors, but Jeera steered me towards the one in the middle. Inside, she gestured to a row of padded chairs at the side. Ayla and I both sat while Jeera headed to the man sitting behind the counter. Speaking softly, she told him something, but I couldn't make out what. Brielle, on the other hand, opened the door next to him and walked in, closing it behind her.

"Now you're checked in," Jeera said as she made her way back.

"I don't know what that means," I admitted.

"It just lets them know who came in and in what order. Like waiting in line, except you get to sit," Jeera told us. "Also, the two of you get to make a choice."

"What choice?" Ayla asked.

"Well," Jeera said, "you can do your exam together or separately. Before you make a decision, you need to know you will be taking off your clothes, putting on a medical gown, and will lay on a table with your legs spread. Mom will look between them to make sure there aren't any problems down there, and then let you know what she found. Some people don't want anyone else in the room except the doctor when that happens."

"I don't know which one is right," I told them.