Page 37 of Phoenix's Fire

"I may have changed my mind about the kissing," I mumbled, sure that was something horrible to say out loud.

"Wait." Rymar brushed my hand even as he stopped. "Was that before or after he kissed you?"

"After."

Rymar simply grumbled again, sounding like he was disappointed. "Fucking asshole," he muttered under his breath. Then he raised his voice again. "So you're no longer opposed to kissingat all?"

I shrugged, trying to think of an answer, but we'd made it all the way to the main cross street. Even worse, a group of women were headed towards us, and I was sure this was one of those things I shouldn't talk about in public.

"No. I mean, I dunno," I fumbled. "I like the kind of kisses Drozel gave Omden. I mean, I think I would and when Zasen kissed me, it could've been like that, and that seems okay, but it was two men, and that makes it different, right? Because men are strong and can push someone back, or slap them to the ground, or - "

My voice faded as those people heading towards us got close enough to possiblyhear what I was saying. Telling Rymar was hard. Saying this around other women? Especially ones I didn't know? That was not about to happen.

But the trio of women weren't looking at me. Their eyes were on my friend. Granted, his brilliant colors were hard to miss. Just as they passed us, the one in front flashed Rymar a smile, and the kind the elders would've punished a girl for using back in the compound.

"Hi, Rymar!" she called, all three of them smiling and wiggling their fingers in his direction.

"Ladies," he replied politely before turning back to me as if shutting them out. "See, Ayla, there's a difference between being polite and letting others take advantage of you."

"Zasen wouldn't - " I tried.

"He might unintentionally," Rymar broke in. "But my point is that just because someone flirts with you, you're notrequiredto flirt back, let them kiss you, or anything else you don't want to do. You alsocando any or all of those things if you want." He flicked a finger towards the ladies, who were now on the other side of the street and heading away. "Like that. I was polite without offering anything."

"Oh." I quickly thought back to those smiles and the way all three had looked him over. "So they were doing the flirting?" I asked.

"Yep," he agreed, refusing to look back. "It's an invitation for me to talk to them, then they talk to me, then we date. If dating goes well, then we can become partners. Boyfriends, girlfriends, that sort of thing. And if that goes well - which usually takes many months, maybe even years - then we can move in and become a family."

"Get married?" I asked.

"Or not get married," he agreed. "Saveah and Tasult didn't get married, but they were a family."

"Because of the kids, yes."

"Before the kids," he corrected. "But that's more than just friends, Ayla. It's called being lovers. The affection starts as like and grows to love. If it doesn't, there's nothing wrong with ending the relationship - which it sounds like Moles couldn't do. And usually, that kind of relationship starts with a kiss, so now I'm wondering what would you do if Zasen, or Kanik, or even I liked you that way? Maybe someone else? Even a woman?"

"For kissing?" I knew that wasn't the right phrase, but it was all I had right now. "I don't know. Rymar, everything's so different here."

"Well, think about it," he said. "Because at some point, you're going to have to explain to Meri that Jeera and Brielle are lovers, and that it's okay. And who knows? Maybe she'll eventually want someone to help her raise her baby. Someone she can love back, Ayla. Or someone you could. It's allowed, and it happens all the time, but I don't really know how to help you ladies understand it can actually be not only safe, but also a good thing."

"I think you just did," I said softly, daring to look over and meet his turquoise eyes. "Rymar, you don't even see it, but I do."

"See what?"

"Those women were wanton toward you, but you didn't take advantage of it, and you've never hurt anyone!"

"I have," he said.

"Not likethat!Have you?"

"No," he swore. "Not like that. I've hurt Moles, and I've hurt people who hurt me or my friends. I've accidentally hurt people I've dated because we didn't work out, but heartbreak isn't an intentional pain." Then he reached up to rub my shoulder. "And I've never hurt someone with sex, Ayla. Never. If I did, I wouldn't be able to forgive myself."

I nodded, truly believing him. "I can see that." But when he angled me away from the market, I realized I had no clue where we were going. "Rymar, where does Jeera live?"

"On the far side of town," he explained. "Brielle owns a house over there, and Jeera moved in about a year ago."

"So it's Brielle's house?" I asked.

Rymar hummed at that. "It'stheirsnow. Brielle gave Jeera half. It's what people do when they like each other enough. They merge their things."