Page 50 of Phoenix's Fire

"You'd better have a damned good reason," I warned.

"That woman had just had her world turned inside out, Ry. She found out her mother was a Dragon, and the Moles are taking women from here, and that Savaeh is her sister. She took all of that like it wasnothing, but over and over again, this one thing keeps sending her into a spiral. She's so fucking sure men will hurt her, so yes, I kissed her. I kissed her softly, I didnothold her against me, and then I made it very fucking clear that she owns herself, so don't give me that shit."

"And she did not consent!" I hissed, fighting to keep from yelling at him and waking Ayla up.

Closing his eyes, Zasen sighed as he reached up to pinch the bridge of his nose. "I know. I know there are some lines she will never cross unless she's shoved over them. I also know I won't hurt her, Ry."

"That's not your decision to make."

"It should be hers," he agreed, "but you know what? Those Moles took that from her. They convinced her that touching, caring, and any sign of affection is torture. She's fuckingscaredof it - and for a woman who shrugged off getting shot?"

"It was a graze," I reminded him.

"It still fucking hurts," he told me. "Trust me, I've had a few of those. It burns like grabbing an iron out of the fire. But Ayla? She doesn't care about that, yet she's terrified of something which would hurt so much less. So yes, I crossed a line. I pushed her, and I will keep pushing her, because I'm also watching to see how she reacts. To give her the chance to say no, to learn how consentworksso she can empower herself, and she can't do that if she keeps running from anything resembling contact."

I huffed. "She doesn't have a problem contacting Kanik."

This time, it was Zasen snarling in the back of his throat. "Rub it in."

Okay, now that was not the response I'd expected, so I had to push. "And you're pissed that he's the one getting the girl?"

Zasen just shook his head. "No, man. Ry, you got me all wrong. I'm not pissed. I'm taking one for the team. See, if I don't show Ayla it's okay, and push her outsideher comfort zone so she has to face her true fears, she'll never see what he's offering. She'll think they're just friends." Again, he shook his head. "And they aren't."

"They are," I promised. "Kanik's okay with it too. So you know, he wants to have her desire his company, nothing more."

"Oh, he wants a whole lot more," Zasen assured me. "He's also patient."

"So you think you're going to just slide in and steal the girl out from under him?" I asked, struggling not to roll my eyes at his arrogance. "You think that because he's nice he doesn't stand a chance? Or that you deserve her or something?"

"No..."

"Because that's not how it works," I said, talking over his feeble attempt at a reply. "It is very possible to be attracted to someone and them not feel it back. That doesn't mean they aren't a good person. It isn't a fucking reason to shut them out either!"

"Ry..." Zasen tried, but I slashed my hand through the air, cutting him off.

"I've had a thing for Kanik since we were in school!" I huffed. "You know that. Shit, it's why Tasult started inviting him to hang around, but when I figured out he's not into men, did I cut him out? Did I treat him like he was worthless?Did I fucking try to kiss him anyway?!"

"It's not like that," Zasen assured me. "That's not - "

"That is exactly what you did to her," I snapped. "Whether you want to explain it away or not, you still ignored her right to say no. You forced that woman to kiss you - "

"I didn't!" he barked, the words loud enough we both flinched and looked up at the floor above us. "Sorry," he went on, this time in a softer voice. "But I didn't force her, Ry."

"You didn't ask," I said yet again.

He lifted his hands as if holding me off. "I cupped the side of her face. I leaned in slowly enough that she could've pulled away. I had my handrestingagainst her so I'd feel it if she tried. I watched her, Rymar. I expected her to tense up, and I thought I was going to just whisper something to her, but there she was, looking up at me with those big blue eyes of hers. She fucking looked at me like shewantedme to kiss her. And yeah, maybe I was wrong, but I sure as shit didn't force it on her."

"Oh."

"I'm also not trying to steal her away from Kanik," he went on. "They're good together. She's..." He hummed thoughtfully. "She's so brave when she's with him. Never mind the way she looks at him!"

"She doesn't know she's doing it," I pointed out.

"She's still doing it," he said. "Ayla looks at Kanik with hope in her eyes, and theybothdeserve that. So no, I'm not trying to steal her away. I'm trying to be the fucking asshole so he doesn't have to. I'm pushing her, Rymar, so she'll lean on him. I'm fucking stepping up here, because that man thinks he's small, ugly, weak, and the last man any woman would want. Why? Becauseyounever told him you were half in love with him. Because Lessa sneered at his 'boring brown scales.'Because even now, you're trying your best to treat him like a partner, and you're sticking up for him - and you know what? I am too, in my own way."

"It's not like that," I assured him.

Zasen glanced at me with a little smirk on his lips. "Not like what?"