Page 280 of Phoenix's Fire

"Oh, Ayla," Zasen breathed, pulling me up against him and hugging me hard.

My side and shoulder were against him, but Zasen didn't seem to care. He crushed me to his body, and I hugged him back, but then he bent to kiss the top of my head. Rymar pressed in against my other shoulder, leaving me twisted weirdly between them. It hurt, but they needed this, so I pressed my head against Zasen's chest, giving him what comfort I could.

"You need to wash," I told him, looking up to see both men clinging to me. "Let's go home."

"I don't want to," Rymar admitted. "He's not there."

"But we are," I soothed, peeling myself away from them to get both men walking.

I didn't try to say goodbye to anyone. I didn't even look back. They didn't matter right now. I simply got Rymar and Zasen moving, then kept them walking until we finally made it home. There were too many sniffles and more than one sob along the way, but when we finally made it inside, Zasen turned for his chair.

"No," I said, guiding him up the hall. "A bath."

"A drink," Rymar said, peeling off to head into the kitchen. As he walked away, he reached up to wipe at his eyes with both hands.

I'd never seen a man older than twelve cry in the compound, but I wasn't shocked that these two would. They hadn't hidden their affection for each other. That was part of what made me feel so safe around them. Theylovedeach other. They cared enough to cry, and it was something I'd never imagined before.

As we passed the stairs, Zasen gasped as if in pain. I looked up to see more tears falling from his eyes, but didn't mention it. Kanik lived up there. How many times had he paused at the top, trotted down them, or raced up them? No, that reminder was too painful. I had things to do.

Pushing Zasen into the washroom, I finally let him go, but only so I could start the water. It came out cold, which reminded me someone needed to light the heater outside. I'd never done that before, but I'd seen how. I could manage.

"I will be right back," I told Zasen, heading for the door.

He nodded, then turned to light the lantern that lit the room. Stretching my legs, I headed for the kitchen, intending to go out the back, and Holly followed.But just as I stepped through the archway that separated the kitchen from the living room, Rymar came in from the backyard.

"I lit the water," he said. "Go take care of Zasen. I'm okay."

He wasn't. That was a lie, but a kind one, so I pointed at him. "Holly, stay with Rymar."

She wagged her tail once, but didn't look thrilled about it. Rymar, on the other hand, bent so he could pet her. When she moved close enough, he dropped to his knees, wrapped his arms around her neck, and hugged hard.

That meant he wouldn't be alone, so I hurried back to Zasen - only to find him standing there, looking into the mirror like he was lost. Pain etched his face, but this wasn't the kind I could fix with a needle and thread. I could still figure out a way to help.

I knew how to treat injuries. I knew how to care for children. In the state Zasen was in, I could only guess he was in need of the latter more than the former, and my inhibitions would only get in the way. So, turning for the water, I made sure it came out warm, then plugged the tub.

Turning back to him, I gently began to remove his weapons, stacking them up on the counter. Krael first, then the leather he had strapped across his chest with knives and more in it. His belt came after that, and the quiver with it. Last, I removed his bow, setting it behind the door.

That left only one thing on him, and since Zasen wasn't stopping me, I reached for the tuck of leather beneath his belly button. That was when he caught my hands.

"What are you doing, Ayla?"

"Putting you in the bath. You're covered in dirt and Mole, and leather doesn't do well in water." I eased my hands free and continued undressing him. "I trust you, Zasen. You worry about me enough. It's my turn to take care of you."

He pulled me against him and held me tightly, preventing me from removing his loincloth. "I think I need you."

"Then I'll take care of you," I swore. "Now get undressed."

He obeyed, dropping the strip of leather and leaving it where it landed. I steered him into the tub, then passed him a cloth. Zasen sank into the still-filling water. While he wiped away the worst of the blood, I peeled off my leathers, leaving only my underthings to cover me.

I also didn't close the door.

"Let me help?" I begged, stepping into the tub so I could kneel between his legs.

That earned me a sad smile. "This wasn't how I planned to have you get me naked," he joked, but it came out weak.

So I took the cloth from his hands and began soaking it in the water. "Tell me about him, Zasen? Tell me the things I never got to know?"

Zasen tilted his head back, more tears streaming from his eyes, and when he spoke, his voice was high and tight. "He was such a good man. Always, but you knew that." Then hesniffed.