Page 243 of Phoenix's Fire

"But will you?" I pressed. "Callah, if they kill me up there, will you even consider him? Or attack someone, or do something? I hate the idea of leaving you alone down here."

She stepped closer and grabbed my hand. "If you don't come back, I will make every man in this entire compound pay, do you hear me?" she asked. "I will find all of those grenades and set them off, because if you don't come back, then no one here deserves to live."

"And blowing yourself up would hurt," I reminded her.

She squealed in frustration, bouncing in place to show how much she hated that. "I'll do something!"

"Marry Sylis," I said again. "I'll make him promise me to be good to you, okay? And I looked. He isn't related to you. No more than Mr. Saunders, so he should be fine as a prospect."

She nodded. "But maybe you can come back? It'd be easier."

"I'm going to try," I swore, meaning every word. "But, um, if I don't. I was wondering if you'd let me do something first."

She tensed. "I amnotkissing you! That would be indecent!"

"I was actually hoping for a hug," I mumbled. "My mother used to give them, and they always made me feel better. I just... I dunno. I thought that maybe it could be a good luck thing?"

She didn't bother answering. Callah simply threw herself against my chest, reaching up to wrap her arms around my shoulders. Then she squeezed. Carefully, trying not to get too close, I curled my arms around her shoulders and bent into her.

This woman was so incredibly small. The top of her head didn't even come to my shoulder, and her body was so slim, I was worried I'd crush her. Still, the feel of her holding me like this was enough to let my entire body relax. I dropped my head, resting my cheek against her hair, and a sigh fell from my lungs.

Peace.

She was the solace I'd spent my life looking for. This woman was the trust I'dnever found anywhere else. She was a friend, and one I truly respected. Somehow, this delicate little thing made me feel like everything was going to be okay, and I needed that more than she could ever understand.

"I can't do this without you, Tobias," she said, turning her face to bury it against my neck.

"Yes, you can," I reminded her, carefully easing her back. "You are brilliant, conniving, and devious. You are going to fix things for the women. I know you will, and I'm going to make it back so I can help you. We are going to make sure the lies down here get exposed, and then we'll figure out how to... I don't know. How to make this better."

"How to free these people from themselves," she said, clasping my biceps so I couldn't lean too far away. "And you're a part of my plan, so you tell Sylis you need to be safe so you can get married. I don't care what excuse you come up with, but you wear those feathers, Tobias, and you give her that, okay? Then you come back!"

I reached up and drew a little X over my heart. "Cross my heart, Callah. And I'll pick an entire bouquet for you too. Maybe not all pink, but I'll get you the most flowers any girl has ever had." Then I shifted her hand, making her draw the same little cross above my heart. "And you can give them to all the girls getting married as something to hang on to - or to prove there's more out there."

"Just..." Her hand shifted until her palm was resting over my heart. "I'll heal you if you're wounded, but I need you to come back. I'm scared, Tobias."

I nodded. "Me too."

Seventy-Six

Callah

That night I lay in my bed, thinking about how small I'd felt when Tobias had hugged me. No, weak - but also not. Then there was the way he'd held me. Not like he'd wanted to crush me, but more like he was working so hard to keep from hurting me. The man was impressively large, but so gentle, and the disparity between those two things made me want to smile and giggle like a stupid little girl.

But we were friends. Just friends. Completely safe friends. That was why I'd liked it so much. I couldn't count the number of times I'd hugged Ayla or Meri when we were little. It had become less frequent as we got older, but mostly because it was discouraged. After all, friendships could lead to gossip.

Then again, maybe we needed some gossip. The real question was what I was going to do about all of this. I knew I was in the unique position to make changes down here, and that if I left, things were only going to get worse for all these women who were already terrified.

But what could I do?

We couldn't all attack the men. They were stronger than us. They had weapons, and many of them knew how to use them. Sure, I might know the basic method of operation, but that would not compare to men who shot those guns every month. Men who'd seen what they did to a body - even if it wasn't a human one. So a full-scale rebellion was pointless.

Wait. Rebellion.

What we needed to do was find a way to resist the rules of men. Not to outright defy them, but simply to protect ourselves without giving in and letting them have everything they wanted. But how? Sadly, I didn't know enough about a wife's duties to even begin to guess at our options, but I knew who would.

The next day, I made it through sermon thinking about this. I was so preoccupied, I nearly missed Mr. Cassidy's announcement.

"I'm going to read a list of names. Each and every one of you will no longer be required to attend sermon after today. For the boys on this list, you will be contacted by a mentor to help you choose your profession. For the ladies, you will have this time to finalize your choice of suitor, and all proposals are now considered valid for these names."