Page 239 of For the Fans

I burst into my hotel room, desperate to see him standing there, giving me a look like I’m crazy for freaking out so bad over nothing.

But the room is empty.

“Bridget, I gotta go,” I whimper. “Please call me if you hear from him.”

“Yea. You too.”

Taking a slow seat on the couch, I stare at my phone screen, praying to any and all forces of the universe for him to just read my texts.

Me: Baby where are you…? I just wanna know that you’re safe. I love you so much

Far too many minutes go by, and as much as I’m scared and panicking inside, I’m too exhausted to even move.

My phone vibrates in my hand, and I jump in relief.

But it’s not Kyran. It’s a text from an unknown number.

Unknown: Hey it’s Guty. I got your number from Bea.

Unknown: Coach just got a message from Kyran… He went home.

I gape at the message until my eyes ache with the need to blink.

Me: He went home?? Why????

Guty: We’re not sure. All he said to Coach was that he changed his flight and went home.

I’m trying so hard not to read too much into this… Not to let my mind go to the worst possible conclusion…

But it’s no use. It just keeps crawling up from the back of my brain, the insecurities and tormented voices becoming too loud to ignore.

He left you.

He ran away again… Fromyou.

Because, as usual, you pushed too hard. You’re justtoo much… Too hopeless, too desperate. Chasing him over and over again, when he doesn’t want to be caught.

Reclining onto my side, I sink into my own despair.

But why would he tell me he loved me?? Why would he openly kiss me in front of his whole team and tell them all that he’s my boyfriend if he was just going to turn around and run from me??

My heart aches at the memory of last night…God, it was incredible. Kissing him out in the open. Feeling the shackles fall from him; from both of us. We finally became real in that moment.

It wasn’t a secret anymore.

I finally had a boyfriend…

Kyran Harborwasmine.

But that was before he learned that I knew the truth about his past… And no matter how much I tried to convince him that it changed nothing, I could feel him pulling away. Resisting, because he thinks he’s broken.

He’s fuckingnot. And even if he is,so what??I’d still do everything in my power to fix him, to make him mine. Because I just want him, broken or not.

I want all his uneven pieces.

It’s official…

I’m a mess.