Page 150 of For the Fans

“Pretty much since you left,” he sighs. “I just wanted to make sure you were okay.” I blink at him, at the pinkness in his cheeks. “Are you? Okay?”

I’d love to lie, but I don’t think I can. All I can do is shake my head. I can’t speak, because I don’t know what to say… I just don’tunderstandwhy everything feels so much better now that he’s here.

A snowflake lands on his upper lip and he licks it away. For some reason, it makes me chuckle… Just a tiny, amused noise puffing out into the frigid air.

Avi smiles, the firstrealAvi smile I’ve seen since earlier, in my bedroom, and it’s like a shot of liquor running down into my gut.

“You wanna go back inside?” His fingers run up and down my arms like he’s trying to warm me still.Doesn’t he know he’s already done it…?“Or we could keep walking around… if you want.”

His eyes look so much bluer right now than usual, with only the dimmed streetlight gracing a soft glow to his features.

The fact that he would even offer to walk with me out here, in the freezing cold on Chrismakkah Eve, gives me enough strength to go back to the house.As long as he’s with me…

“We should get out of the cold,” I mumble. “You look like you’re freezing.”

His mouth twitches. “Me?? Your lips are turning blue.”

I chuckle again, leaning into his side as he walks us up the street toward the house. And I can’t help myself… I’m breathing deep, bringing cold air into my lungs with the scent of him. Something in it pacifies me… poking at a familiarity in my mindI can’t quite reach. But I like it, either way. It wraps me up the way his arms do, like a big, fuzzy blanket.

When we get back to the house, everything is quiet once more. Avi gives me a look like he’s wondering if he should stay with me or give me space, and as much as my body is urging me to cling to him, I pull away gently.

“Thanks…” I murmur. “I’m just gonna go to bed. I’m really tired.”

I stalk toward the stairs as he whispers behind me, “Okay… Goodnight.”

Clomping up the steps, I rub some feeling back into my hands, caressing a line on my palm…

Our street, where he found me.

“Goodnight.”

Tossing and turning. Sweating through the sheets.

My dick is so hard it’s aching, brushing on the soft fabric and drawing out a whimper. A shadowed form appears in the doorway, and I feel like it’s Avi. I think it is, from the way my chest tightens and my stomach jitters at his presence.

He says nothing. Simply glides over to the bed and climbs in with me. And our bodies tangle, making stifling heat that burns like a million searing licks of flames.

You’ll burn in Hell for all eternity…

“I just want to be with you…” Avi whispers on my neck, grinding his body between my legs. “I want to make youmine.”

My throat dips as I swallow. It’s scratchy and thick like maybe I’ve been screaming and crying, but I don’t remember doing it. My back is stiff, and my muscles are sore…

I have rug burn on my knees.

Avi is touching me, but his hands feel different. They’re cold, and I flinch when he runs his fingers between the crack of my ass.

“Beg for forgiveness…”

My eyes open, but all I see is dark. Blackness… An empty void ofnothing.

“Avi…?” I call out while the hands touch me, harder and greedier… Aggressively pawing at me until I’m squirming to get away. “Avi, come back!”

I’m trying to speak, but nothing is coming out. Ihearthe words in my mind, but my vocal cords aren’t working. There’s an obstruction in my mouth…

A thumb with something wrapped around it. It tastes bad…

I hate it.