Page 15 of For the Fans

I’m fucking stunned into stone. Harsh adrenaline rushes in my veins, my stomach twisting and turning so violently I feel like I could vomit.

I can’t believe he just said that shit to me… What kind of horrendous asshole is this kid??

Muscles tense all over my body and my fists ball on a hoarse whisper, “Alright, then. I guess fuck you too.”

Stalking out of the bathroom, I slam the door so hard behind me, it rattles the wall. I exhale out loud, shaking my head and pretending his words didn’t get to me. That he’s just lashing out because he’s a stuck-up asshole who thinks he’s better than everyone.

But no matter what I do, I can’t get his voice out of my head.

No matter how much more I smoke, it just won’t go.

You have no one…

No one needs you…

I spend the rest of the night struggling to focus on my homework. And when Mom and Tom come back with dinner, I tell them I’m not hungry.

I stay locked away in my bedroom, staring at the pages of the books I’m not reading, with a hurtful truth bounding around in my brain.

You have… no… clue… who you really are.

Tumultuous_ho3b4g: I’m not feeling myself today. Can I feel you instead?

One Year Later…

The muscles in my arms are tight, fighting the tremble.

They burn as I push with all my might, lifting the barbell up, then controlling it back down. My chest strains, sweat lining my forehead. I puff breaths on each push as my partner counts.

Twenty-five. Twenty-six.

My mind is clear while I focus on the hurt. The pain of the weight I’m holding…

It feels good. The ache is like a companion, a comforting presence that strokes my hair and whispers to me.

You’re so strong.

There’s nothing you couldn’t rip apart with your bare hands.

Garrison, who’s spotting me, saysthirty, then helps me guide the bar back into the uprights, before I’m even done.

I would’ve kept going… But I guess thirty reps of this much weight is more than you’re normally supposed to do.

Weaklings. Give me more. I can take it.

Sitting up slowly, I wipe sweat from my brow while Garrison slaps me on the shoulder.

“Nice work, killa,” he rumbles his support.

“Fuckin’ show-off,” my friend Marcus says with a smirk from across the room.

He’s only doing one-fifty.I guess he doesn’t need pain the way I do…

Grabbing my towel, I sling it around my neck, getting up and stretching my arms over my head. I sip some water, glancing around the weight room at my teammates. I’m going to miss this…

College football will be similar, but also different. I’ll have to get used to all new players. Form bonds of camaraderie with new dudes.

Playing for the Eagles will be intense, but honestly, I’m looking forward to it. The football field has always been the place where I shine. I play because I’m good at it, but also because I need it. Football is the biggest part of my image.