Page 189 of For the Fans

Fuck! Fuck fucking this! I hate this!

Pushing people out of the way, I storm over to the couch with wrath burning like hot molten lava in my veins.

Anger, frustration, hatred, confusion. The gang’s all here. My adrenaline is jacked right now, and I’m about to rage so hard I think I might seriously hurt someone.

Avi’s eyes are open with Ash’s mouth trailing his jaw, and they widen when he spots me. He dips away from Ash as fast as possible, crashing onto Zeb’s lab and spilling his drink everywhere.

“You bitch!” Zeb stands up, drenched in booze. “This is Prada!”

Lunging, I grab Ash Holloway by his arm, hauling him to his feet and whipping him across the room. He goes flying into a bunch of people, and everyone topples into a pile of bodies.

“Kyran! Wait—” Avi shouts.

“Dude, mellow!” Guty hollers.

But it’s too late. I’m already launching myself at Ash, grabbing him by the throat and slamming him onto the floor.

“Don’t fucking touch him!” I snarl over Ash’s face, all semblance of control lost. I may have blacked out. My body is working on total impulse, the need to destroy this fucking prick for kissingmyAvi taking over every fiber of my being. “He’s not yours, youhear me?!”

My fist cocks back, but someone grabs my arm. Several someones.

At least four of my teammates are holding me back, trying to pry me off of Ash, while Ash just lies there on the floor beneath me, blinking wide, baffled eyes up at my face.

“Harbor, stop!” someone says. I think it’s Fellows. “Don’t do this, bro. Think about it…”

I… don’t… fucking… care.

My anger is visceral. I can’t find my way out of it. All I see are flickers in my mind…

A dark room.

My father’s disappointed face.

A rosary wrapped around a weathered hand…

“Fuck!” I roar.

And even with four of them on me, they can barely lift me off of Ash while I fight to get back down there and bash his fucking face in for kissing those lips.

Avi’s smile slips away… When I tell him he has no clue who he is.

All the times I brushed him off… Knocked books out of his hands in high school, called him a loser in front of my friends…

All the times I walked out on him.

They’re all flashing through my thoughts, blinding me with so much emotion, I can barely breathe. Like a slideshow, it’s playing in broken clicks.

Bedsheets wrapped around us… His fingers treasuring me with touch, his hair hanging in his eyes.

Laughing, smiling, kissing, breathing…

I’m fuckingdrowningin it. The way it changed.

The way he becamemine.

“Fucking let me go,” I grunt, sniffling as I whip myself out of their hold, jumping off of Ash and stumbling away.

Sucking air into my lungs as best I can, I keep my head down while I pant, rushing out of the dorm with Guty by my side, his hand on my back.