Page 235 of For the Fans

The climax rushes up. It crests, and it breaks, sending me tumbling once more. My dick shoots more cum onto my abs while Avi strokes it out, collapsing onto me as we breathe and hold each other, hearts hammering through our chests.

I’m warm. Warm everywhere… And tranquil, in a way that only Avi can make me.

See? Thisisspecific to him.

He is theonlyone. He’s the first, and the only.

Shaking away my lingering uncertainties, I watch Avi with sleepy eyes as he pulls out of me, massaging my legs and my hips, gazing hypnotized at what I’m guessing is his cum dripping out of my ass. Then he eases himself down onto the bed by my side with a hum, wrapping his arms around my waist to pull me into him.

“Another mess?” I breathe, nestling up to his front, pressing soft kisses on his sternum.

He chuckles. “You know we’re very messy.” An easy grin settles on my lips while his fingers brush through my hair. “Kyran… Today was incredible, baby. Being with you is like a dream come true, and I mean that.”

The high from our sex is covering us like a shimmer of diamond dust, and I just want it to stay like this.I don’t want to ever lose this with him…

He peeks at me. “Do you believe me?”

There’s hesitation. I can’t help it, it’s just there. It’s the insecurity of knowing that he knows just how scarred I am. And I can’t fucking stand the nagging thought that won’t fucking go away…

He thinks he wasn’t really your first…

“Kyran, please…” His eyes shine with desperation. “Please don’t think this changes anything. It doesn’t. You’remine, baby. I’m not giving you up, ever. No matter what.”

I nod subtly, believing him. Something’s shifted, I know it has. But it hasn’t stopped him from loving me, and I need to find solace in that.

“I really love you, Avi.” I kiss the truth onto his smooth skin. “I hope you know that.”

“I do,” his voice rumbles into me while he takes my hand. “I know.”

“Seriously,” I hum, peering up at him. “All you’ve ever done is open the door for me over and over… This broken, crumbled mess. And every time, you pull me in and sit there trying to glue me back together. And you didn’t even know why I was smashed to bits in the first place.” I shake my head, resting my cheek over his heart. “You’re like…”

“A masochistic Bob the Builder?” he rumbles, and I snort a laugh.

“Avi…” I start speaking, but my voice dries up in my throat when I see him, staring down at me with the most beautiful color of shining love in his eyes.

I know that he’s serious. That he loves me no matter what, and maybe he always will.

Maybe we could go the distance. Have a future… We’re still young, but it’s not impossible. And nothing would make me happier than totrywith him.

But he doesn’t deserve uncertainty. He doesn’t deserve doubt. He doesn’t deserve to be handed the same broken pieces over and over again.

He deserves awholeperson to love. Not someone who’s terrified of even speaking the truth to him.

Iwantto… I want to be able to cough up the words. To confide in him, like he said.

Avi, he… He…

But I can’t even say the words in my mind.How am I ever going to say them out loud??

The most I can get out is his name. “Avi…”

And he blinks his pretty eyes at me, long, dark lashes fluttering in wait.

But still… I’m only just putting my shoes on. Never making it out the door.

So I whisper, “I love you.” Because it’s the only truth I can get out right now.

And Avi takes it, because he’s sweet, and sincere, and helovesme.