Page 161 of For the Fans

“You don’t have to worry about it right now,” I tell him, letting him know with my tone that I’m being serious while also remaining firmly planted right here for him. “There’s no rush to figure things out. Just enjoy yourself, and it’ll happen… when it happens.”

He comes to a stop at a red light and turns to face me a little, severe appreciation and some mild astonishment shining in his eyes. “I have a question…”

“Ask me.”

“Why do you act like you don’t care about anything when it’s so obvious that you do?” He tilts his head. “Why do you… do all these drugs to tranquilize the real Avi? You don’t have to… He’s crazy smart, and sweet, and… kind of fucking awesome.”

My mouth hangs open for a moment while I just stare at him, feeling like he just ripped the mask clean off my face, and is gazing intently at the ugly mass of doubt underneath.

“It’s…” I murmur, my voice getting caught before I clear my throat. “It’s not always easy being me, Kyran. It’s not like it is for you… Nobody tells me how awesome I am, except my mom. But she’s just saying that because she has to.”

His forehead lines. “No, she isn’t. She’s saying it because it’strue. Avi, do you have any idea how much I wish I could be like you? Be fuckingdifferentand proud of that fact?? I think that’s why I always hated you so much… Because I’m jealous of how…freeyou are.”

I can’t fucking believe what I’m hearing. It’s so intense, there’s a buildup of pressure pushing behind my eyes like a dam about to burst.

Thank God for the light turning green and the person honking behind us for him to start driving again, because I really don’t think I could keep looking into his eyes after something like that without bursting into tears like a total baby.

“I’m sorry…” he mumbles. “If that was heavy, or if it felt like I was calling you out or something. I promise, I’m not. I just… I feel like I’m finally seeing the real Avi. And I like him. A lot.”

Blinking and swallowing over and over to hold myself together, I whisper, “Now you know how I feel…”

I sense that he’s peeking at me, but I can’t look over there again.Not yet.Not when I’m feeling something so potent for him. It’s like this palpable emotion, pleading with me to wrap myself around him and never let go.

We drive the rest of the way without words. Just the crooning melodies of a playlist I made forus, full of songs that remind me of him, and lyrics that won’t stop singing about him in my mind.

A little while later, he pulls off the highway, in a small town I’ve definitely never been to before. Another little grin graces his lips, and he becomes visibly excited once more, which means we must be close. Then he pulls us into an empty parking lot, with a giant white screen in it.

The sign readsMendon Twin Drive-In.

My face is flinging left and right while I take in the setting. There’s snow all over the ground, and not a car in sight. The place looks abandoned, which would make sense since I’m pretty sure this is a summer activity. There are also signs up everywhere that sayClosed, so I’m not sure what he plans to do here.

But either way… It’s romantic as fuck.

“You brought me to the drive-in?” I gasp, grinning and poking him in the stomach. “Because I told you I’ve never been?”

“Yup. It’s honestly my favorite thing.” He sighs, looking out the windows. “My parents used to bring Bridget and me here when we were little… in the summer. The place would be packed with cars. We’d put the seats down in the back and cuddle up with blankets and pillows.”

I turn to check the backseat, and he chuckles.

“I didn’t bring that stuff.” He leans back against the seat, sloping his face my way. “I figured we could keep each other warm…” He bites his lip.

“I thought this was a non-sexual surprise?” I smirk.

He shrugs. “It’s us. I don’t think anything we do is non-sexual.”

I have to laugh at that. “Good point. But… the place is closed?” I look around. “How are we going to watch a movie?”

He reaches into the backseat, returning with his laptop case. “Way ahead of you, babe.” Unzipping it, he pulls out his laptop while I openly gawk at the side of his face. “If you’re going to keep acting crazy every time I call you that, then I’ll be forced to stop doing it.”

I press my lips together. “Sorry. It’s just…Babe. I like babe.”

“I thought you might.” He slinks a side-look at me that’s part teasing, part totally sexy and boyfriend-y, and… fuckingmine.

Great Odin’s raven, I have zero chill right now.

Kyran sets up his laptop on the dash, fiddling with it while he says, “Grab those bags back there. We’ve got movie snacks.”

Picking up the bags, I dig through them to find all my favorite things. Cans of Coke and root beer, gummy bears, Raisinets, Smartfood popcorn, pizza-flavored Pringles, and of course, Twizzlers.Tonsof Twizzlers.