Page 153 of For the Fans

“Totally,” he agrees. “Fear the Almighty or He’ll strike you down.” He huffs, shaking his head. “And the craziest thing is that all these religions have spent centuries fighting over whoHeloves the most, when the whole time He’s been historically indifferent to them all equally.”

My eyes narrow, because he makes a really great point.The kid’s smarter than he lets on, that’s for sure.

“I just find it so infinitely idiotic… Killing each other when we’re all worshipping the same asshole who doesn’t care,” he sighs. “But anyway. That’s enough of my anti-theistic ranting.”

I chuckle, scooting in closer. Because I like what he’s saying.

“One of my mom’s brothers left too,” he goes on. “And they got a place together in Lebanon for a bit before Mom decided to come here. He still lives out there. We went to visit him once when I was twelve.” He chuckles as if he’s remembering something. “He’s a cool guy. But yea, the community in Brooklyn was even more pissed off at my mom when she married a Spanish guy.”

He laughs again, and it makes me smile. “Your mom’s kind of a badass, huh?”

“She is.” He grins. “Gives zero fucks about what anyone thinks.”

“Reminds me of someone…” I smirk, and he bites his lip. “I’ll still never understand how she ended up with my father… He’s, like, the opposite. All hedoesis care what people think. It’s exhausting, bordering on psychotic.”

Avi shrugs. “I don’t know…” His fingers brush over mine. “Maybe sometimes opposites can attract. Maybe someone has something that you don’t… And they make you better.”

I can’t even help how I’m leaning into him, closing the gap. Resting on him and his deep words that mean so much to me right now.

That old resentment? The anger and the irritation… the hatred I’m not even sure was real to begin with… I think it’s fully gone. And all I’m left with is a desire to getcloser… to learn more and listen more.

Like maybe I should have been doing from the start.

“Avi…” My fingers lace with his, almost timidly. And then my leg swoops over his. “I need to ask you something…”

“Ask me,” he whispers.

“Was it really an accident…?” My mouth eases closer to his lips. “When you touched my hand earlier?”

Raising my hand clasped in his, he drags it up to his chest. “It’s never been an accident with you, Kyran.” My eyes flutter shut, forehead dropping to his. “Was it an accident for you? When you called mebaby…?”

My head shakes. “It’s never an accident.”

A hum rumbles up from his chest, and I press my lips to his to catch it.

I have no idea what I’m doing anymore… I don’t understand this. Me and him… What’s real and what’s pretend.

All I know is that I’m kissing him because Iwantto, because it feels good. And I don’t give a fuck about money or recording… I don’t care that he’s my stepbrother, or that we’re different. This isn’t about the fans.

Because we have one very important thing in common that I never noticed until right now… We’rebothtrying desperately to figure out who we are.

Running in circles alone, we somehow wound up chasing each other.

Pushing myself on top of him, I’m coming undone in an instant, falling apart on his mouth, building sweet friction between our writhing bodies. And this time,myhands are ripping off his clothes, and my own. I’m driving this, after so many times when I’ve let it feel like he was making it happen. Right now, it’s all me.

I’m going to fuck him because I want to, not because I have to, or because I’m telling myself that I do. I want to feel uscoming together, because it’s the only time when I’m sure of anything.

Avi yanks the comforter over us, and we move in synch, kissing wildly while he uses something like lotion to get his dick wet.

“We have to be really quiet,” I mumble on his lips, my cock leaking on his abs as I sit astride him. Grinding my ass back against his erection, slipping and sliding it in between. “I think my dad will be coming home soon…”

“So… not the time to use the cock ring, then?” He grins, and I rumble a salacious laugh, shaking my head. He holds my jaw in his hand, keeping my face in line with his while he aims his crown up to my hole. “We’ll use it when we get back to the dorm.”

I nod, biting on his lip to keep quiet as he slips inside me. It takes me a moment, but when I lift, I see stars behind my eyes, bearing my weight on my knees and building to an easy rhythm.

His bed creaks a little, so we keep it slow. But it’s fine, because it feelsincrediblethis way… Hands all over, lips sucking, teeth nipping, tongues professing what our mouths have to keep quiet. We’re all breaths, soft gasps, and hushed grunts, hidden away in secret, giving one another the pleasure that’s been sustaining us all along.

And by the time my orgasm is ready to pull me over the edge, I can’t fucking believe I ever even attempted to fool myself into thinking this was just about the money.