Page 87 of Vespertine

Nicky didn’t mention how little time he probably had left inLittle Heights. That fact was as inescapable as the feelings that pulsedbetween them like a separate living heart. “Do you mean when I’m out in LosAngeles?”

Jasper swallowed and looked away. “Of course. There have tobe opportunities there for you to help disadvantaged kids who want to learnmusic. If you’re up for it, it sounds like a good idea.” He cleared his throat.“How’s it going with your parents’ stairs?”

“Well, I should probably own up to the fact that I don’tknow what the fuck I’m doing out there and hire Joey Renfroe.”

“The contractor?”

“Yeah. His mom is friends with my mom.”

“He’s a good choice. It was an ambitious project and I’msure you could figure it out given the time, but maybe hiring Joey would be thebest if you want to make sure it’s done before you have to go.”

Nicky nodded. “Yeah.”

Jasper took another bite and looked thoughtfully at his plate.He sounded a little too nonchalant when he asked, “Have you heard from yourmanagement again?”

“No, but Ramona and I talked today. Mick is making noiseabout leaving the rehab facility early. She’s trying to talk him into staying.”

“What happens if he leaves?”

“Well, it’d suck for him, obviously, because I don’t thinkhe’s ready, but it would suck for the rest of us too, because the suits woulduse it to try and get us all back in the studio.” He shrugged. “It sucks allaround.”

Jasper sighed and seemed to agree.

Nicky didn’t want to talk about going back to Los Angeles ormaking a new album or the likelihood that his bandmates would stay clean. He’dhad something else on his mind since his conversation with Lizzie about God andher rage that she didn’t feel like she fit inside her body. He’d placed a fewphone calls, asked a few questions, and talked to his accountant. He knew whathe wanted to do.

“Jazz, I want to pay for Lizzie to transition. And Gus too,if he wants. Any of the current kids who are interested in physicallytransitioning. I’ll fund their hormones and whatever surgeries they want tohave.”

Jasper almost choked on his water. He took a moment, wipinghis mouth and then putting his napkin aside with a careful movement. Then hereached out and took hold of Nicky’s hand. His fingers were cool and smoothagainst Nicky’s palm. “That is one of the sweetest, kindest things I’ve everheard you say, Nicky. You have such a wonderful heart. But the medical costsinvolved are obscene and you can’t possibly—”

“I’ve got a lot of money and I can totally afford this. Thatis, if you figure out what needs to happen on your end to allow for it. Do youhave to consult the case workers or something?”

“You’re serious?”

“I’m serious.” Nicky stood with his plate and carried itinto the kitchen. “Find out what needs to happen. I’ll have my accountant calland we’ll set up, I don’t know, a little trust or something for Blue Oasiskids. I’ll have him put money in it every year and we’ll see what it can fund.”Nicky grinned as he rinsed his plate and put it in the dishwasher. “It’s a taxwrite-off too. Charitable deduction. Win-win.”

Jasper came up behind him, put his dish on the counter, and pulledNicky around to face him. “I need to know that you’re not going to back out.This is a huge responsibility, Nicky. It’s not the sort of thing you can startand then forget about later. These kids will depend—”

Nicky’s heart clenched. “I’m not going to forget. I careabout those kids. I haven’t cared about enough people in my life to let the fewI have slide out of my mind.”

Jasper’s expression went guilty and soft. “I’m sorry. I didn’tmean it like that. I admire that you want to help them and I absolutely wantthem to be helped. So, yes, I accept your proposal. We’ll figure out how to getthis done.” Jasper smiled, his eyes crinkling at the edges, and his lipsstanding out rosy against his gleaming white teeth. “Thank you, Nicky. I don’tknow how to thank you enough.”

Nicky could think of plenty of ways.

He shrugged and pulled Jasper into a hug. “Just try to getLizzie on hormones soon. It’s what she wants and that’s all the thanks I need.”

Chapter Sixteen

“REMEMBERWHEN WE USED TOswim across to the island?”

Jasper smirked and lifted his feet out of the bay. Thedroplets falling down glittered in the afternoon sunlight and he dipped hisfeet down again, watching their distorted, pale shape through the clear water. “Ibeat you every time.”

“Lies,” Nicky said. He was lying back on the dock with hisfeet propped up on the edge. He’d found a long piece of grass somewhere, and hechewed it as he basked in the sun, arms tucked under his head, eyes closed.With every inhale, his stomach became more concave, contrasting the sharp riseof his ribcage, and his T-shirt slid up to reveal a small sliver of his happytrail. He looked as peaceful as the sleeping fox on his foot. “I beat you atleast half the time.”

“Nope. I think you won once, and that’s because I got crampin my leg halfway there and you left me to die.”

“You were fine.”

“Fish food, I think you called me.”