Page 143 of Vespertine

“What is it, Emily?” Jasper asked.

She glanced around. A few yards behind her, what could onlybe her parents waited somewhat impatiently.

“I like girls,” she whispered. “My parents don’t know.”

Jasper smiled, reached into his pocket for his wallet, anddrew out a card. “That’s perfectly okay. If you ever need someone to talk to,give this number a call.”

She took the card and blinked at it before slipping it intoher little green shoulder bag.

“Take care, Emily,” Nicky said as he handed her phone back.The flush on her cheeks rose even higher and she ran off.

Nicky and Jasper piled into the car, and to the driver Nickysaid, “Can you give us two minutes of privacy, please?”

“Of course, Mr. Blue. Just tap your window when you’reready.” He shut the door.

Jasper gave Nicky a worried look. “What is it?”

Nicky put his forehead on Jasper’s shoulder and rolled hishead side to side. “I hate what they say about you in the press.”

“I know you do. And I don’t care. Also, it’s not all bad.”

“Yeah. But when it’s bad, it’s awful.”

“Nicky…”

Nicky grabbed onto Jasper’s sweater but didn’t lift hishead. “Is it worth it, Jazz?” he asked. “Because I will quit. Just say the wordand you and I can become recluses on the island.”

“The kids would never forgive us if we kicked them out oftheir fort.”

Nicky laughed a little hoarsely. “They can come visit. Butno one else.”

“Nicky.” Jasper shrugged his shoulder lightly so Nicky’s headbounced and he sat up. Carefully Jasper cupped his face and stared into thosewonderful sky-bright eyes. “It’s worth it. It’s all been worth it. I wouldn’ttrade this for anything. You’re amazing. Your fans love you.Ilove you. Thatgirl…” Nicky broke into a smile. “See? That’s why you do it. Not for the press.Not for the paps. But for girls like that who lock themselves up in theirbedrooms and dare to dream to your music. I’ve said it before. You move people.You moveme.”

“Okay.” Nicky nodded against Jasper’s palms. “Yes. But youhave to promise me…”

“What?”

“Before it becomes not worth it anymore, you tell me. Whenyou’ve had enough, you promise me you’ll tell me before it’s too late and youhate me. I can’t do this without you.”

“I could never hate you, Nicholas Blumfeld,” Jasper saidsoftly. “And I don’t want to do any of it without you either. I promise I’llalways tell you how I feel. And you have to do the same.”

“I will.”

Jasper drew him closer and kissed him softly. Outsidemadness waited, but as long as there were moments like these where he had Nickyall to himself, in these pockets of love and tenderness, it was all worth it.

“Nico! Nico! Nico!”

Jasper’s eyes were wide as he stared out from the darknessof backstage, taking in the massive crowd. “They’re screaming for you,” hesaid, his voice thick with wonder.

“Yeah. They do that.” Nicky grinned, trying to affectnonchalance, but his heart was pounding to the rhythm of his name. He wrappedhis arm around Jasper’s shoulder, trying to absorb his calm energy. “They’llscream for Ramona and Sez, too.”

He didn’t know if they’d scream for Perry. It was theirfirst live set playing with him, and the new album didn’t drop until next week.This was a teaser show, arranged by their new management, the first of four.Then they’d break for a couple of weeks, hit five big cities, take three weeksoff, and hit five more. No more endless tours. No more years of being on theroad with no reprieve. And he’d already told the band if it got too hard, ifhis sobriety was at stake, then they could hire Wendy Staggs, a studioguitarist Nicky trusted, to take his place for shows. He’d always be Vespertine’ssongwriter and guitarist, but he didn’t have to tour to do that.

“We’re ready, Nicky,” Ramona said, stepping up close andnodding toward Sez, who was drinking from a bottle of water and shaking alittle. “He’s scared but he’ll make it.”

“You ready?” Jasper asked.

Nicky swallowed hard, and then he nodded sharply. “You’rehere. The songs are tight. I’m ready.” He nuzzled Jasper’s ear and whispered, “Whatif they hate the new stuff?”