Page 121 of Vespertine

“I’ll stay sober for me.” He cleared his throat and pushedhis hair out of his eyes. “I should get a haircut. It’s been since, God, maybeMiami.”

“Since fucking Miami?” She laughed. “Jesus. Whatever, youlook adorable. Everyone likes that moppy-haired, emo-eyed pretty boy look. Justkeep rockin’ it.” She smoothed her hands over her own close-cropped head. “Now,we should talk music. And, a little later, after the food has digested and we’vewalked on the beach, we should go jam and see what we can show up with for thestudio tomorrow. But for now, I need the scoop.”

Nicky shook his head. “I don’t know what you’re talkingabout.”

“Your priest. Tell me about all the blessings he bestowed onyou.” She laughed and then softened considerably. “Actually, no. Tell me howyou’re doing after leaving him. Really.”

“I miss him. He hasn’t texted and I don’t fucking know why.But I can guess.”

“And that makes you want to…? Shoot up? Kill yourself? Get aplane back to him?”

“None of the above. Okay, a little of the above. But mainlyI want to know he’s okay. I didn’t mean to cause him any trouble.”

“Well, what time is it there? Maybe he’s already asleep andthere isn’t any trouble at all. You’re worried for nothing.”

“My mother is still awake.”

“She’s a mother. Mothers worry. Priests pray on theirtroubles and then drift into a peaceful fucking sleep. Well, probably. I don’tknow any priests…” Ramona trailed off, sitting back and pushing her finishedplate away. She said nothing else, staring off into the lowering darkness.Finally, she put her hands on the table and pushed herself up. “Let’s go on awalk. Then we’ll make some music about love, okay?”

“Sounds good.”

The next morning there was a message from Jasper but it wasn’tvery forthcoming.

Beautiful backyard. Reminds me of the sunset on the cove.

Nicky hadn’t had time to reply. Their call time at thestudio was early, and he’d had to head out with his head still fuzzy withsleep.

Everything at the studio was weird. Nicky couldn’t rememberthe last time he’d seen Sez and Mick sober, and they seemed a little freakedout to be in each other’s presence not-high too. If they’d been fucking beforerehab, it seemed pretty clear they weren’t fucking now, and neither of themseemed to know what to say to the other.

“Hey,” Sez said, sitting down next to Nicky. “‘Sup?”

“Wishing I had Mary Fender, but she’s at my house.”

Sez tilted his head, confused. “You forgot her?”

“Nah. I haven’t been back there since I left it before thetour. Seems like a bad idea, you know?”

Sez shot a glance toward Mick and shrugged. “Maybe, yeah. Myplace is weird now, too.”

“Yeah.” Nicky looked over where Mick was shoving hair out ofhis eyes and sending wounded glances Sez’s way. “I think I’m going to let thelease go. Stay with Ramona for a while and when I’m feeling good enough, find anew place. Get a fresh start.”

“Yeah, man. What about Mary Fender and Princess Takamine andall the rest of your guitars?”

“Ramona said she’d take me to get what I need tonight.” Allhe had at the moment was his father’s Takamine, given to him at the airportwith teary eyes and a bear hug. He’d been reluctant to bring it to the studio.It seemed dangerous somehow, like being in the place could make the guitarunclean. But it sat calmly across his knee and the fretboard soothed hisfingertips.

“We won’t be laying any track today, anyway,” Sez said. “Justfiguring shit out. Got any songs for us?”

“A few.”

“Cool.” He caught Mick’s eye and then shook his head fast,looking away and back to Nicky. “Wanna get a beer after? I don’t want go home.”

Nicky glanced toward Mick, who was eyeing them jealously. “Sorry,dude. Not drinking anymore. I didn’t think you were either.”

Sez frowned. “Fuck, I’m not. Easy to forget, huh?”

“I guess.”

“Well, how about we head down to Tats & Cat’s Coffee.Coffee and new sobriety tattoos. Sounds like a good night, yeah?”