Page 71 of Vespertine

“Good. Anyway, I’m running some errands before our yogaclass, oh yogi master. I’m looking for a miter saw but Lowes is all out ofrentals and Dad doesn’t want to buy one for just one job.” Jasper heard therush of traffic in the background along with the low growl of the engine. Heimagined the wind whipping through Nicky’s hair and took a deep, slow breath. “Itold Dad I could buy him every single fucking piece of equipment he needed, butyou know what he’s like.”

“You want to come take a look at the school?” Jasper asked. “There’sa workshop that hasn’t been used in a long time but it’s full of all sorts oftools. You’d be welcome to any of them, if they still function.”

“You think there’s a miter saw in there?”

“I have no idea what that is, but feel free to take a look.”

“Sweet. I can be there in five minutes if that’s all rightwith you.”

“Sure.” Jasper grinned. “I’m in the office; let yourself in.”He lowered his phone and stared at the screen until it went dark.I can’t see the end of this road You’ve put me on, O Lord, but I’mlooking forward to seeing where it leads.

Jasper went to make coffee instead of dealing with theemails, and by the time he carried two mugs down the hall the large front doorcreaked open. A beam of sunlight fell through, lighting the tiles in front ofhim, and the heat of it made his skin prickle.

As if lit by a halo, Nicky looked larger than life. He woretrack pants and a dark Henley that hung against him like he was doing theclothes a favor. His hair drifted in the mild summer breeze, locks gilded bythe light behind him.This is the rock god, Jasperthought. The enigmatic presence that could hold an audience of tens ofthousands in thrall.

Here in the old school building with its chipped tiles andslightly musty smell, there was only an audience of one. Jasper thought of theNicky he’d seen surrounded by the delighted kids as he sang that heartbreakingsong. The fragility of his voice combined with the music he could coax out ofany instrument juxtaposed strikingly with the Nico Blue Jasper had seen onmagazine covers. He didn’t understand how those two people could inhabit onebody without breaking.

The door fell shut and in the semi-darkness Jasper’s eyesneeded a second to adjust.

“Is that coffee?” Nicky appeared in front of him and heldout his hands. “Gimme. Mom’s put me on a detox diet she read about online. It’ssupposed to support addicts and horrifically involves no caffeine.”

“Hmm, I don’t know.” Jasper lifted both cups out of reach. “Idon’t think I want to go against Mrs. B’s wishes.” He grinned at Nicky, wholooked back with a dangerous twinkle in his eyes. Jasper’s heartbeat faltered.

“Careful, Fox.” Nicky took a step closer and kept his voicelow. He reached out and dragged a finger down Jasper’s freshly shaven cheek. “Don’tstart something you don’t want to finish.”

While his heart kick-started into a canter, Jasper keptsmiling. “What? You mean drink both these coffees? I think I can handle it.”This is dangerous territory. Deep breath. You’re in control.He neatly sidestepped Nicky and went into his office, where he took a seat athis desk.

“So what do you do in here all day?” Nicky asked, taking aquick look around. With a smirk on his face he reached for the coffee andJasper let him have it. “Write sermons?”

“Sometimes, although I mostly do that in my office at home.I handle Blue Oasis business here, answer emails, that sort of thing.”

“BObusiness.” When Jasper madea face he laughed. “That’s your own fault, dude.” Nicky looked around withsilent curiosity for a second, then peered at Jasper’s book collection. “Howdid you even do it, dude? A shelter full of gays run by a Catholic church?Sounds like an oxymoron to me.”

“History actually shows quite a few positive initiativestoward theLGBTQcommunity from the Roman CatholicChurch. It’s background support usually because of the general opposition, butquite a few priests have done their share of progressive work in the past.”

“You’re not operating in the background.”

“No.” Jasper mulled his words carefully. “But maybe that’smy calling. Maybe the reason why I’m doing what I’m doing is to bring these issuesto the foreground and bring the Church into a more modern way of thinking.”

Nicky stared at him, wide-eyed, and then he laugheddisbelievingly. “That’s…that’s ambitious, Father Jazz. And more than a littlebit arrogant.”

Jasper lifted his shoulder. “Maybe. But it won’t happenuntil people stand up and try.” He glanced back at his inbox. “Though there aresome less pleasant consequences to being so public about it.”

Nicky looked like he wanted to say more, but seemed to shakeit off. “What kind of consequences?”

“Emails,” Jasper said, sighing. “Lots and lots of emails.”

“Yeah?”

“You don’t want to know.”

Nicky came around the desk to see the computer, grippingJasper’s shoulder briefly. “Is it hate mail? Shit, I’m sorry, man. You don’tdeserve that.”

“Oh, I’m used to the hate mail. That doesn’t get to me,although afterThe Atlanticcover there’s definitelymore of it. It’s the other stuff.”

“Well, now I really want to see.” Leaning forward, Nickypeered at the screen and began to laugh. “Click on that one.”

“What? No, I—Nicky!”