Page 134 of Vespertine

Jasper cradled Nicky’s head. “I want you alive, Nicky. Foras long as I live, I want to know you’re alive too.”

“I promise to do my damnedest not to let death happen anyfucking sooner than necessary.” He smoothed his hand through Jasper’s hair,hoping it made him feel better. “There’s one thing we need to talk about.Something we need to deal with right fucking now.”

“Yes?”

“You stink.” He kissed Jasper’s chin and tugged him towardthe stairs. “You need a shower.”

“And some tea,” Jasper murmured, following close behind.

“I can make some while you get cleaned up.”

Fifteen minutes later, Nicky had Jasper bundled sleepily onthe sofa with a cup of tea, and wearing a blue robe with nothing underneath. Hewas tempted to sneak a hand up under it just because he could. Touching Jasperwas grounding and exciting at once. But he needed a shower too. He wastravel-filthy and the sexual collision on the beach with Jasper hadn’t left himany cleaner.

“But you look and smell fine to me,” Jasper murmured alittle petulantly as he sipped his tea.

Nicky sniffed his pits. “Lying liar who lies.”

“Maybe I don’t want you to leave me.”

“Maybe you could come upstairs and watch then.”

Dizzy seemed to hate that idea because she hopped onto thesofa, plopped her fat butt onto Jasper’s outstretched thighs, and settled in,licking a paw and purring.

“Ten minutes. That’s all I’m giving you,” Jasper said with amock threat in his tone. “Then I want you back with me.”

“I won’t even take that long.” Nicky stroked a hand overJasper’s damp hair, pushing a longer piece off his forehead, and kissed histemple. Jasper held onto his fingers as Nicky walked away, letting go only asdistance broke them apart.

The excellent water pressure in Jasper’s shower pelted Nicky’sexhausted muscles, and he was tempted to linger but he’d promised to be fast.In Jasper’s bedroom chest of drawers, he found a T-shirt and sweats. Slidingthem on, he stopped to mess up the contents of all the drawers a little, eventhe little one on top that held neatly organized cufflinks and tie pins hefigured Jasper rarely used. Then he padded down to join him again.

When he reached the sofa, Jasper was asleep. His long, goldlashes fanned on his cheeks, and his lips parted wetly. The half-full tea cupsat precariously on his chest with his fingers barely gripping the handle.Dizzy blinked up at Nicky from her place on Jasper’s thighs. Carefully, he tookthe cup and saucer from Jasper, and tip-toed into the kitchen to put it in thesink.

When he returned to the living room, Jasper was half sittingup, rubbing his eyes. “Nicky, I had a terrible dream.”

Nicky squatted beside him, feeling the sweats ride low onhis hips. He smoothed his fingers through Jasper’s nearly dry hair. “Let meguess, I was dead and you swam out to our island where you tried to drown yourhorrific sorrow by swallowing sand?”

Jasper smiled at him wryly. “No, that was all too real.”

Nicky tried to move Dizzy so he could sit with Jasper’s feetin his lap and got a hiss and a scamper for his effort. “I know. I’m sorryabout that.”

“I was going to joke that I’d dreamed I was out of tea, butI don’t actually feel much like another cup.”

Jasper lifted his legs, and Nicky sat on the couch underthem. He rubbed Jasper’s calves and stared at the speakers. Images of the dayflashed in his head. He should have put some music on. Vespertine’s first albumagain. Back when they’d all been at the top of their game.

“What happened out there?” Jasper asked softly.

Nicky shook his head. He couldn’t tell Jasper about the wayMick had lain there on the bathroom floor, his breathing slowing, his lifeleaking out as Nicky screamed into the phone at the 911 operator. “I’m notsure. All that matters in the end is that Mick is dead.”

Jasper sat up and scooted so he was nearly in Nicky’s lap. Itwas an awkward position now that he was taller than Nicky, but it wascomforting too, to have him so close. “Do you want to talk about it?”

“Not really. I was there when he died.”

“Oh, Nicky.” Jasper’s eyes were puffy from having cried so hard.

“I’d gone looking for him. Your text about the hotel made methink he might have checked in there, and he had, but then he’d left again.Then Ramona texted to look at my house. I wasn’t staying there, and he was onthe list for the guard to let through.”

“He was there?”

“Yeah. Well, him and his massive stash of drugs.” Nickyshivered, remembering the rush of temptation that had filled him from head totoe.