Page 58 of Vespertine

“I bought it myself, actually.” Jasper’s cheeks flushed andhe ran a thumb over the afternoon shadow that had begun to grow in on his face.“When Grandma passed, she left a little bit of money for each of hergrandchildren, and it happened to be enough to put down a payment on this oldplace.”

“Why are you so embarrassed?”

Jazz fingered the crease in his pants and laughed a little. “Howdo youdothat?”

Nicky blinked at him in surprise. “Do what?”

When Jazz lifted his hands and spread them palm up, Nickynoticed the little mole on the base of Jazz’s left pinkie finger. It’d alwaysbeen there and Nicky had kissed it once, telling him with a whisper it meantJasper had a guardian angel. “You always were too perceptive for your own good.”

It was true. It had been yet another thing Nicky had soughtto dull with drugs: knowing too much about how other people felt. Not beingable to feel the right way back.

“This place…it’s a bit much for a priest. I probably shouldhave been content with the house on Garvey like the other priests before me.”

“The house on Garvey is depressing. It always smelled likemothballs. I don’t get how Father Murray could stand living there. They shouldbulldoze the place if they haven’t.”

“I’d forgotten you went to a Bible study with me there for afew weeks.” Jazz stared at his house for a long moment as Nicky put the truckinto park near the butterfly bush at the end of the driveway.

“So you’re home.” Nicky didn’t want to kick him out, but thesilence was getting awkward.

Jasper nodded slowly. “Thanks for coming to pick me up. Thatwas very nice of you. Why don’t you come in for dinner?” Jasper shoved a thicklock of hair off his forehead and turned to smile at Nicky. “I order up a meanpizza.”

“From Rocco’s?”

“You know it.”

Nicky turned off the truck. “Perfect.” Then he groaned andthrew his head back against the seat. “Oh my God.”

“What?” Jasper’s voice was raspy.

Nicky turned his head. Jazz’s gaze was on Nicky’s mouth andhis eyes were doing their half-hooded thing again. “I was remembering that timewe ordered the Firebelly Special with extra jalapeños.”

Jazz swallowed and looked away, his gaze fixing firmly outthe front window like he was determined not to look back at Nicky’s face. “Yes,I remember.” Jasper laced his fingers together like some part of him waspraying. “We ate it all and we were sick beyond belief.”

Nicky was silent. The next words he spoke would make orbreak whether or not the invite stood. He could reach over and take hold ofJasper’s jaw to turn his face and steal a kiss before Jazz would pull away. Heimagined Jazz might even return the kiss before putting an end to it—andputting an end to this new attempt at a friendship.

What had Dr. Rodriguez said? He needed strong relationshipswith good people to help him stay on track. Jazz was the best person he knew.There was no one he’d rather be friends with in this world. He’d do the rightthing.

“Yeah,” Nicky said, turning his mind back to the pizza. “Myasshole burned for days after that. Little did I know I’d grow to enjoy thatsensation later in life.”

Jazz’s lips twisted as he fought to hold back his guffaw oflaughter. He shook his head and closed his eyes, while his shoulders shook. “Onlyyou, Nicky. Only you.”

“Well, are you still going to invite me in?”

Jasper nodded, and went to lift his bicycle out of the backof the truck. He took it to the garage, and then led Nicky in through the frontdoor.

The inside of Jasper’s house was a gory fucking mess. Bloodand guts were strewn across the entryway, and bits and pieces of dead animalflesh trailed into the living room.

“Wow, Jazz. This isn’t how I pictured it, to be honest.”

Jasper turned on his heel and vomited into the bushes.

“Hey now, hey,” Nicky said, putting one hand around Jazz’ship and the other on his shoulder, steadying him. His entire body trembled, andfor a second Nicky was afraid Jazz’s knees might give out.

Jasper wiped his mouth with the back of his hand, his skin agreyish-green and a fresh sweat sheen appearing on his neck. “Lord, have mercy.”

“Hey, it’s okay.”

“That…thatcat.”