Page 46 of Vespertine

“Who turned out to be a complete disaster and weren’t youlucky you didn’t stick with him. Yes, I remember. That wouldn’t have beenNicky, Mom.”

“But it would’ve been!” she said, suddenly fired up. “It’sall over the internet what he’s been up to! Drinking, drugs, sleeping withseveral men at the same time! I’d be surprised if he’s not riddled withSTDs. Is that what you wanted for your future, Jasper?Yes, I did my best to keep you away from him, and I wasrightto. He’s an addict and a whore.”

“Mother!”

“I’m sorry.” She took a shaky breath. “I didn’t mean that.But Jasper, the way he lives his life, no mother would want that for theirchild. And of course I had no idea you’d choose to go in the opposite directionentirely.”

“You mean become a priest?”

“Yes. You were sad for a little longer after you came out tous and then one day you just started to go to church more often.” Jasper knewexactly what the catalyst of that had been. “You took on more altar boy duties,you volunteered at the homeless shelter, and you stayed in your room a lot. Iremember when you got the acceptance letter for Catholic University and it waslike you’d turned a page. As if you’d…grown up. Just like that. In a span ofminutes. We were devastated to hear about your choice. You know your father andI wanted you to become a doctor just like—”

“I know you did, but that would’ve never worked. And I wishyou’d get over it and stop letting it prevent you from coming to church.”Silence fell and Jasper heard bugs buzz all around him. He shivered.

“Are you okay, Jasper?”

He sighed softly, angling his mouth away from the phone soshe wouldn’t hear it. “Yeah, Mom. I’m okay. I’ll see you soon.”

“All right. Bye, Jasper.”

He disconnected and stared at the text message thread withNicky.

You not going to answer?

That’s not exactly fair you know.

I think five Hail Marys are in order. Oractually make that five Bloody Marys.

Jazz?

He took a shaky breath.I’d go back,he wrote,and tellmyself to stand up to my parents the summer we were grounded.

No reply came this time. Just the update that the messagehad been read. Jasper stared at his phone for a while longer, willing Nicky tosay something, anything at all. But he shouldn’t be looking for forgiveness.

Thinking back it seemed like such a blunder to take his mom’swords to heart the way he had. He should’ve talked to Nicky about the thingsshe’d told him. He shouldn’t have just…given up. At the time he’d thoughtfollowing his calling had been the hardest part of the whole situation, butwhat if it hadn’t been?

When a mosquito bit his neck, he swatted at it, shoved hisphone in his jeans, and took off again, only then realizing he’d left his dirtyshirt behind at the Blumfelds.

When he made it home, the ginger cat was perched on hisdoorstep, indignantly swishing her tail.

“I know you have a real home,” he told her as he hopped offhis bike. “You’re too well-fed not to.” He rolled the bike into the garage andclosed it, then went to unlock the front door for the cat even though he couldenter his house from the garage. “Maybe I should buy some real cat food huh? Ifyou’re going to hang around here more. I wouldn’t mind the company to behonest. Evidently, since I’m talking to you.”

While he rummaged around his kitchen, looking for aforgotten tin of tuna, he noticed the light on his landline was blinking and hepressed play.

“Father Hendricks, this is Mrs. Wells. I just wanted to letyou know someone entered the school today pretending to be interested inwriting another article on the youth group, but as soon as he was in my office,he began to ask about you and your friendship with a certain Nico Blue. I canonly guess he meant Nicholas Blumfeld. I hear he’s some sort of pop star thesedays? Needless to say, I sent this man packing, but I thought I’d warn you incase he shows up at your home.”

Oh no.

Jasper grabbed his cell phone and then glanced at the clockon his microwave. Ten thirty. He didn’t want to call Mrs. Wells this late. Heignored the cat’s indignant meow and went to sit in the living room. Curlinghis feet underneath him, he pulled up the message thread with Nicky again.There were two more messages he’d missed.

Thanks.

That means a lot.

Jasper bit his lip and pushed his blunt nail into the phone’ssimple black case.

You still up?he typed in the end.

The reply bubble popped up, disappeared, and reappeared.