Page 55 of The Wonder of You

“I was wondering if I could ask my beautiful lady a favour?” Phoenix smiles at me as he takes my face into his hands.

“It depends what it is,” I smirk. He knows I’ll do anything for him.

“One of the tents has broken. Like completely ripped. I’m helping Henry fix it and we need Lukas and Toni on board too. I’ll miss introducing the magician’s show, though. Are you able to do it for me?”

Oh.

Perhaps I should have been serious when I said “ it depends”.

“Phoenix, I’m not sure. Can’t I swap with Lukas or Toni?”

“It’s just…”

“They’re stronger for helping with the tent.” I chuckle, but nerves turn over in my stomach.

I really want to help.

But introducing an act to a whole crowd of people? It sounds terrifying. I’ve danced in front of crowds, but talking to them all seems like a step too far.

“I’ll stand with you!” Maudie smiles sweetly beside me.

I take a deep breath and give Phoenix a fine, I’ll do it! smile. It comes with a sigh, but he knows I am being light-hearted. I love this place so much, but it doesn’t mean I can’t be afraid of ruining it by trying to do something out of my reach .

Can I possibly put it in my reach though?

Phoenix instantly grins and leans forward kissing me softly.

“Yucky!” Maudie squeals.

“Thank you! You’ll do amazing. You are always amazing. They’ll fall in love with you. Hopefully you won’t fall in love back, but you know what I mean.”

I gently hit his arm and call him silly as he runs back to the broken tent.

“Shall we go then?” I hold out my hand to Maudie as she jumps up and down in excitement. The butterflies are flapping nervously in my stomach as I linger by the entrance of the tent.

Can I do this?

Well, I guess I have no choice now.

Do I have to fake a personality or just try to… you know, be myself?

I feel like I’m waiting to take a big test. I just want it over with.

The guy who is working on the timetable tonight nods at me. That’s my cue.

Here it goes.

Maudie and I run into the tent together and take centre stage.

“Good evening, everyone. How are we all doing tonight?”

A few people shout things like, “good!”, “let’s get the show going!”

“I am sorry you’re getting me tonight. Our very handsome ringmaster is tending to a broken tent. We can’t have a broken tent now, can we?” I look down at Maudie.

“Absolutely not!” she responds loudly. My hands are shaking but I am enjoying this moment with her. The audience look engaged and are smiling at us. I keep expecting one of them to boo at me or tell me to leave, but no one does.

“Well, next we have the brilliantly talented Ezra. He’s a magician!” I project my voice louder and I sound less nervous, which relieves me.

“But not magical enough to fix our tent!” Maudie adds. This makes the audience roar in laughter. She brightens red and I squeeze her hand to show her how proud I am of her confidence. I obviously need to learn a lesson or two from Maudie.

I smile back at the crowd, this time a genuine smile. I am enjoying this. There is so much pride and excitement within me that I think it might burst out of my chest.

“So, are we ready?”

“Yes!” they shout back.

Thinking of Phoenix, I decide to really test my confidence.

“Louder!”

The crowd scream and stomp their feet. Maudie joins in.

“And here he is!” I finally say as Ezra runs into the centre of the stage area. Maudie and I are quick to move away.

“You were amazing!” she whispers to me .

“Not as amazing as you, they really laughed. Well done!”

We both watch the show in fascination at Ezra’s tricks. He pulls a live rabbit out of his large black hat. Maudie claps at this and makes sweet little aww noises at the rabbit. Next, Ezra pretends to be shocked as he pulls colourful ribbons out of his suit jacket. We laugh along with him as the ribbon keeps on coming. Maudie gasps as a young woman joins the show and is put in a long box. She ends up being cut in half. I have no idea how this trick works, but I am just pleased it’s not real. I do have to reassure Maudie that this is completely pretend and no one has been torn in half tonight.

Ezra’s show comes to an end and the same man who gave me the heads up to start the show earlier nods at me.

Maudie and I run back out in front of everyone. I am thrilled to be here again. I can’t believe the change in my attitude. It turns out I can do these things!

“Who enjoyed that?” I ask.

The crowd cheer.

“I am just glad no one died!” Maudie smiles. The crowd laugh once more and this time, they clap for what feels like forever.

“Thank you!” I say once they have calmed down. “We’re back on tomorrow if you fancy watching this all over again.”

We run off as the crowd claps again and get ready to make their way out of the tent.

As I get outside, Phoenix is standing there with a look of pride on his face. His eyes sparkle .

“Did you watch the end? Did I do okay?” It feels silly to ask when I did so little, but it was a big moment for me. A change in what I can offer the circus in the future. Maybe not always introducing the shows, but I can get involved more. I can help more. I feel such excitement in my bones.

“We all heard the crowd laughing when you introduced the show. I managed to catch the end. You were both amazing!” he tells us.

Maudie claps as I lean forward and hug him.

“I’ll be honest, I nearly wet myself when you asked!”

“Renée! You are silly!” Maudie chuckles. When she spots Lukas, she instantly runs over to him. I see his surprised expressions and know she must be telling him how she made the crowd laugh.

“So, the show is over. Are you free now? I was hoping for my own favour,” I say as I wrap my arms around Phoenix’s neck.

“I am done; what can I do for you?”

“I was just hoping for me, you and our cabin,” I grin at him and try to do my best wink. We both laugh at my rubbish attempt. It doesn’t stop Phoenix lifting me off the floor and carrying me back to the cabin though. I guess I’ll never quite get used to this again.

And the thought of this being forever is a magic show of my own.