Page 19 of The Wonder of You

Immortal Land

Golden Valley

1645

“We’ll need more money soon, the food won’t last for long,” Lydia says as we walk towards the circus. I am excited to see it. I’ve never been to a circus before. It’s free to go in as they haven’t been open for long and want to attract more guests. It must be fun to create your own circus. I wish Lydia wouldn’t ruin the good mood.

“We have enough money, why do you always say that?”

“We don’t have enough for more things, though. Have you seen my friends Jesse and Rosa? They have those statin dresses – so much nicer than these rags we call dresses!”

She sighs at me as if I should know better.

“We don’t need those; we just need food and a place to live. We have enough for that. Why do you want more?” I argue.

“Oh, forget it, you wouldn’t understand! I am getting frustrated with not having these nice things. I won’t sell my body for it. Dad wouldn’t even allow it!”

“Well neither will I,” I say, wanting to throw up at the idea. Lydia looks at me and then turns away. Does she want me to sell myself? She can think again .

“I’m fed up with these damn stupid clothes. Look at them!” Lydia pulls on the sides of her dress collar, as if I haven’t already seen what she’s wearing today. She looks fine. She looks pretty, even. Lydia is the image of our long-gone mother, as our father would say with pride in his eyes.

“They look like bed sheets; how can you not see that? How can you be okay with what you’re wearing?” She scowls at me and aggressively grabs my own dress collar. Its grubby and needs to be washed. Lydia notices this and cringes. She wipes her hand on the side of herself as if I’m disgusting. “You have weird little stripes on yours. Are you not embarrassed?”

“No,” I reply.

She tuts, frustration taking over her features as she continues looking me up and down.

“We should call you Stripey Stipey,” she laughs.

“Let’s just go to this circus already, it was your idea!” I walk faster to get away from her. I’m used to ignoring Lydia’s remarks about lack of money, bad clothing and her friends having more than us. I’m used to her insults too, the attempts at giving me a nickname to tease me with. It still gets me, though. She’s meant to be my sister. Not my bully. I keep walking to try and calm the lump growing in my throat. I don’t want to cry. It’ll only push Lydia to make more comments.

“Yeah, I don’t want to go, but I also want to get out the house,” she huffs. “Anything is better than the four walls of that tiny house. We need to move. To find somewhere bigger, less smelly. It reeks in there. ”

I ignore her. This is typical ungrateful Lydia. There is one thing I can agree with though; it’s nice to get outside of the house.

The colourful tents greet us and my body matches my excitement. Goosebumps take over and I feel like a child again. Well, I feel like a child for the first time. I am not sure if I ever got a childhood, really.

We walk in and I spin around, taking in everything in sight; the tents, the spindly acrobats, the stalls full of goodies. There is a man shouting roll up, roll up! I even see an elephant being petted by a man dressed like a clown.

“This is really something,” I say as I take in The Golden Valley Circus and all its glory. I want to stay forever. I look around to see what Lydia thinks, but she’s already walking off with some random man, her finger twirling around her hair as she tries flirting with him. It’s typical of her to leave me, but I feel like I might be okay here. The man in the red and white striped suit starts waving frantically in my direction. I look around, but he is indeed trying to get my attention. I walk over, beginning to feel shy.

“Hello,” is all I can muster, but it’s a good enough start.

“Fancy a prize? Everyone is a winner!”

“I just came to look around. I don’t have any money. If my sister thought I was spending money on games, she’d try drowning me,” I chuckle. I know I am babbling, but it’s just what I do. The words either get stuck or come out all at once .

“I think I can give a free try to a pretty lady like you,” he grins. I wave my hand around aimlessly and blush, all embarrassed. No one has ever paid me such a compliment.

“Henry, are you trying to flirt with the customers again?” a voice says behind me. I look back and see a man wearing a three-piece suit. He has pale skin and wavy black hair with curls framing his face. My heart sinks.

I can’t take my eyes off him, and he seems to be in the same position as me.

Is he staring at me like that because he thinks I am weird? Or is he feeling what I am feeling? No, what a silly thought, he can’t possibly like little old me.

It hits me; Lydia is right. My dress does resemble a bed sheet. It’s as if I cut up some old sheet, or perhaps some old curtains and made clothes out of them. Despite what Lydia thinks, we are doing okay as a family. We may not have money for fancy clothes and materials, but we have money. We have a roof over our heads and a bed each. We have food and water. Perhaps I am selfish to think this is enough when I just do not care for the finer things in life like she does. Right now, though, I do wish I was wearing something a bit fancier for this handsome man in front of me.

Butterflies wiggle in my stomach and I start giggling.

“I’m Phoenix de Raven.” His eyes sparkle and he holds out his hand. I feel like I’ve been thunderstruck as I take it, so much so that I am speechless. He introduced himself to me by his full name, but I think I’ve forgotten mine in this moment. I don’t want to let go.

“I’m, uh…Renée. Renée Stipe.”

Oh Renée , I think, you can’t be crushing on the ringmaster!

I bet he has a wife and children. Some walking beauty that looks like she should be married to such a dashing man. He would never have any interest in me, he’s just being polite.

But my mind changes when he says, “I bet I can win you something good.”

Henry raises his eyebrows.

“Well, the challenge is yours my good friend,” he says, and then he winks at me.

Phoenix makes me gasp as he grabs the fake pistol and instantly takes down all of the cans on the stall. Henry puts his hands on his hips.

“Hmm, I wasn’t expecting that… what can I grab you, my lady?”

“Oh, well it was you who won,” I say to Phoenix.

“No, you pick, please, I won it for you.”

My heart warms at his words, so I take a deep breath and look at all the playthings. I’m far too old for something like this, but I choose a piece of wood shaped like an animal. It seems like someone has painted on it too, perhaps a representation of the chosen animal.

I’m not sure how I’ll be able to convince Lydia that a handsome man won me this and no money was involved, but I’ll have to give it my best shot.

“That one, please,” I say, feeling timid .

“The lion.” Henry grins as he offers it out to me. I wonder what a real lion would be like to see. If its mane is soft. I can only imagine that Phoenix’s hair is soft to touch. I won’t ask him though. He may end up running from the freak which is me. I’m expecting him to leave, to go win another woman a prize. Perhaps that is his approach at the circus, but to my surprise, he lifts his hand to me again.

“May I take you to one of the shows?”

“That would be nice.” I bite my lip, feeling excited and nervous. I take his hand which sends a commotion of feelings through my stomach. Waves of exhilaration. The hair on my arms raises and little bumps appear. It’s like nothing I’ve ever felt before, but I welcome this new experience. Lydia and her remarks about my appearance are out of my mind. I feel like the most beautiful girl here as I allow Phoenix to sweep me into the crowds.