Page 54 of The Wonder of You
“Are you ready for the circus of nightmares?” Phoenix shouts to the crowd. They scream and whistle.
“Louder!” he shouts as he raises his arms in the air.
The crowd erupts even more, this time stomping their feet with big smiles on their faces.
“Hm, I think that’s good enough!” Phoenix grins.
The lights dim, the music plays and out comes Toni and her girls in black and white costumes. They dance around like puppets. It’s beautiful and terrifying. Standing to the side, I watch the guests as they observe the show in fascination. There are a few things I have learned in the years I have been home; the circus seems so much more alive without so many people sitting staring at their phones. Although cameras do whip out here and there, most people are actually engaged with the show and what is going on in front of them.
It's rare to see a child in the crowd, we only see a few that run around enjoying themselves or winning prizes. Maudie loves interacting with them. They usually arrive with families who you can tell just by appearance: have a lot of money or come from some kind of importance. Unlike Maudie, most children grow up into adults before they stop aging. So, it’s a pleasure to see and hear them laugh.
Shortly after arriving home, Phoenix and I walked for hours upon hours through the fields and we stumbled across a man and his daughter. It was easy to see they were related to one another; their green eyes were identical.
Initially, Phoenix pulled me back from them.
“Don’t worry,” the man smiled at us. He introduced us to his daughter, knowing already that Phoenix is the circus ringmaster. Her face instantly lit up as she began asking us a bunch of questions about what the circus is like.
There was something familiar about her, but I didn’t dare ask. Her dad was clearly protective in the way he held her hand, keeping her a step behind him at all times. He told her maybe they could check the circus out one day and then they returned to admire the pink flowers.
I wanted to question Phoenix on his initial hesitation, but it didn’t take me long to figure it out and learn who lived in the gothic mansion house. I recognised the well-known devilish man instantly as he strolled down the field in his black suit. Gabriel’s you know who comment to Arabella flicked back into my mind.
Lucifer.
“Phoenix.” He nodded with his hands behind his back. “And you are Renée?”
“Yes,” is all I could muster.
He smiled at Phoenix and they both nodded, as if they knew something no one else did.
His attention quickly reverted back to the man who looked very similar to him and the young girl.
“What have I told you about leaving the safety barrier around the estate? You surprise me, I must say. I will lock the doors soon and you shall never leave again. Fancy that?” His voice was stern, but there was a hint of a smirk as he finished telling them off that made them both laugh like naughty children. Although they were both quick in following him home as he clicked his fingers in the direction of his house. I sometimes wonder what the inside of that mansion house looks like. I watched as the little girl walked away holding the hand of her dad, it made me think of Maudie. Phoenix and I have discussed children in the past, but we are content as we are. I am a mother figure to Maudie anyway and that’s something I take great pride in. I think, for now at least, that is enough for me.
Phoenix grabs my hand once he has finished introducing the Circus of Nightmares performance. I love watching him engage with the audience, he is the most perfect and handsome ringmaster. But he’s an even more perfect partner.
“Fancy me winning you a prize?” he grins as we walk towards Henry’s game stall.
“Roll up, roll up!” he shouts in that perfectly croaky voice that seems to attract so many. He catches sight of us and smiles. “Not you two! You always make me look like a fool!” he laughs. Phoenix holds his hands up in surrender.
“Fair enough, I won’t embarrass you today.”
“I sold one of my ladybug rocks!” Maudie runs to me with Lukas trailing behind her.
“I told you, didn’t I? They’re amazing, of course people will want them!”
We embrace each other and Maudie shows me the coins she made from the sale .
I congratulate her before grabbing hold of Phoenix’s hand. We slowly walk back to our cabins. The Circus of Nightmares is the last show of the night - it seemed like a good idea to have something scary saved until the sky is completely dark. We leave the shutting of the circus to Henry and Toni - drunken guests who want to cause chaos don’t tend to try it on with them. Both of them are bold, confident and willing to fight if needed. If people had seen Henry the way I have seen him, they wouldn’t even consider messing with him.
I take my sweater off when we get into the cabin, glancing at the small area in my bedroom which is dedicated to the mortal version of myself. I smile at the photograph of my grandparents. My grandad would be so proud of me being here in the circus. I don’t tend to think about them all too much anymore. My grandparents are at peace, my dad and sister are probably happy and doing well, and my uncle… well, he may have ruined part of my past, but he isn’t ruining my future. Not anymore.
Phoenix sits on the bed. I walk over to him, standing in between his legs and wrapping my arms around his neck.
“I love you, Phoenix. I’m forever grateful that we found each other again.”
“We would have always found each other, Renée.”
“I still don’t think I’ll ever truly get over all this, though,” I say as I put my hand on his cheek and look into his eyes.
“That’s the wonder of the circus,” he smiles. I smile back .
“That’s the wonder of you.”
He tugs me closer until we both fall back onto the bed giggling. Tonight though, we’re exhausted, so we do what I love doing the most; fall asleep in each other’s arms. I rest my head on his chest as he wraps his arm around me, holding me closer to him, and we both fall into a peaceful sleep after a long but beautiful day, knowing we’ll get the pleasure of doing it all over again tomorrow.