Page 73 of Save You

I can only shake my head.There’s a lump in my throat that won’t disappear, no matter how often I cough.

“James?”Ruby says uncertainly.

“I’m just happy that you let me be here,” I croak.

The next moment, Ruby scoots over to me a bit.She puts her hand on mine and I link fingers with her.

“I’m happy you’re here too,” she whispers, and warmth fills my whole body.

“I’m not going anywhere anytime soon,” I declare, my eyes fixed on our hands.“So get used to it.”

Ruby

James and I have about another ten minutes undisturbed before Ember knocks on the door exaggeratedly loudly, bringing in a plate of cookies Mum had sent her up with.James jumps up from the bed like he’s been bitten by a tarantula.As she walks away, my sister leaves the door wide-open with a pointed look that just makes me roll my eyes.James and I were only talking, not ripping each other’s clothes off.

If Mum seriously thinks that…well, I don’t know how to take that idea.

After Ember leaves, James stands uncertainly around in the middle of the room, then points to the books on my desk.“When do you need to be done with those?”he asks.

I sigh.“I should have read most of them already.I’m way behind thanks to the gala.”

“OK,” he murmurs, holding up John Stuart Mill’sUtilitarianism.“This one is only a hundred or so pages and I’ve already read bits of it.We can go through it together if you like.”

I blink.“You want to do homework with me?”

“Sure,” he says, pointing to the desk.“Got another chair?”

I’m so confused that for a moment I’m lost for words.

Then I nod and slide off the bed.“I’ll be right back.Don’t move.”

I dash into Ember’s room.She’s sitting on the floor by her bed, back against the frame, laptop in her lap.At the sight of me, a significant grin spreads over her lips, and she pulls her headphones off her ears.

“Sooo?”she asks.Apparently, our conversation this morning is already forgotten—or else she’s just too nosy to ignore me right now.

“Can I borrow your chair?”I ask.

Ember’s grin widens.“Of course you can borrow my chair.”

I ignore her suggestive tone and push the office chair into my room.Meanwhile, James has sat down at my desk,Utilitarianismopen in front of him.

“Are you sure you want to go through my reading with me?”I ask as I sit down beside him.

He looks up and a slight smile lightens his face.“I want to do anything with you that you’ll let me, Ruby.”The moment the words leave his mouth, he grimaces.“That came out kind of wrong…”

James’s cheeks flush pink and mine blush hot too.I look away and turn to the first page, then clear my throat.“D’you need some paper?”

Beside me, James nods twice.“Yes, please.”

For the next two hours, we do indeed studyUtilitarianismtogether.I find it hard to focus at first—partly because James is sitting next to me, and partly because my thoughts are all over the place—but after a while, I get to grips with the theory and start to shape my own opinion on the topic.James and I discuss each other’s ideas and again I realize how bloody intelligent he is.He might not love the idea of Oxford, but when he gets there, he’ll be ahead of the field.

When we’re finished and I’ve highlighted a last keyword in my little notebook, I lean back with a sigh.

“What now?”asks James.

I frown.“What do you mean?”

“Well.Whenever I’ve crammed my head full like that, I have to clear it somehow before I can do anything else.”