Page 145 of Save You

James is readingDeath Note.Volume three.

I once told him that’s my favorite.

I look at him in confusion.

“It’s our team meeting in a minute, so if you’d kindly find somewhere else to read…” I push myself away from the door andwalk over to my place, as if my pulse isn’t thumping in my ears right now.

I slowly unpack my things and spread them out on the table, then I go to the whiteboard and write the date in the top right-hand corner.I wish there were any other jobs to do, but Lin has both the laptop and our notes in her bag.So I sit down and pretend to be engrossed in reading my bullet journal.

Out of the corner of my eye, I see James put the manga down on the table in front of him.His movements are slow.It almost feels like he doesn’t want to startle me.I feel his eyes on me and find myself holding my breath.

“I’d like to rejoin the events committee this term.”

I freeze.Not looking up from my planner, I say: “What?”

“If you and Lin don’t mind, I’ll run it past Lexie.”

I look up in disbelief.“You can’t be serious.”

James stares calmly back at me.Now I know what seems so different about him.He still looks tired, but that look of despair I saw in his eyes at New Year’s is gone.It’s been replaced by a calm that, in that moment, really gets to me.I can be strong when he’s messed up.It’s when he’s quiet that I get edgy.Is that what people mean when they say people complement each other?Or do we just knock each other off-balance?

“I enjoyed it here, even if I didn’t expect to at first.I want to be part of the team again.”

I can’t stop staring at him.“I don’t believe you.”

“You said yourself that I’m a good organizer and that the team wouldn’t be the same without me.And the training schedule for this term means that lacrosse and the events team only clash once a week.The coach is OK with it.”

I pick up my backpack and start digging around in it, just sothat I don’t have to keep looking at James.I have no idea what this means.

I’m not an idiot—James isn’t here because he’s rediscovered his love for Maxton Hall events.It definitely has to do with me.But what he said is true.Thinking back to last term and the effort he put into the Halloween party, I have to admit that James’s presence was anything but a drawback for the team.His ideas and hard work helped make the party a total success.

If I chuck him out now, I’ll have that on my conscience for the rest of the year, especially when we could do with an extra pair of hands, or someone else’s opinion.My duty as team leader is clear—plus, I’d have to explain everything to Lexie if I turn James away.

“So long as everyone else agrees,” I say in the end.

“OK.”

I gulp hard.Even if James does want to get involved on the team again, that doesn’t take away from what I said at New Year’s.Keeping school and my private life apart always used to be my specialty.And even if I let a few boundaries get blurred last term, that’s not going to happen again.

“I’ll be voting against,” I continue, giving him a hard stare.

He leans his arms on the table and meets my eyes just as firmly.“I know.”

It takes less than five minutes for the others to vote to readmit James as a new/old member.Meanwhile, I sit at the front, my cheeks burning, and try not to let on how much the idea of spending three afternoons a week in this room with him from now on is getting to me.

Lin distributes handouts and gets straight down to business.

“Can someone bring Beaufort up-to-date with our plans for the charity gala?”she asks.

I let my eyes wander over everyone in turn.These meetings have been routine for me, but I guess that’s a thing of the past.James just being here is a total distraction, setting off an avalanche of memories that makes my entire body tremble.I remember the feeling of his hands on my legs, my stomach, and my breasts.The way he whispered my name.His mouth, and what it felt like on my lips and my skin.

I feel my face flush even redder and try desperately to suppress the thoughts.This isn’t the time or the place.It’s time to keep my personal life strictly out of school again.

“The charity gala is happening in February,” Jessalyn says in answer to Lin’s question.“The PTA has decided to raise money for the Pemwick Family Center.They want to expand their mental health work and they’re really short of cash for that.”

“It’s going to be as fancy as every year,” Kieran adds.“Black-tie, and we’ve got a huge budget to play with.Lexie is expecting us to butter everyone up so they’ll donate loads of money.”I jot downfancy partyandhuge budget, which is utterly pointless because I’m perfectly well aware of both facts, but it gives me an excuse to look down and away from James’s eyes.

“It’s going to be in Boyd Hall.There’s a drinks reception with canapés first, then a banquet by a chef from a five-star hotel.He’s had firsthand experience with the Family Center and their work, so he’s doing it for free.So we’ve got more to spend on décor and entertainment,” Lin explains.“We’ve hired a pianist from London for background music, and Camille’s family recommended a troupe of acrobats for the grand finale.”