Page 55 of Save You

He walks to the desk in the middle of the hall and I follow at a slight distance.God, why am I so uptight?Things shouldn’t be like this between us.But I don’t know myself exactly how thingsshouldbe instead.

What we had is over.

Over.Over.Over.

I just have to convince my heart of that.And my body.

James walks behind the mixing desk and studies the various plugs and switches.He focuses his attention on each wire in turn, following it up with his hand to see where it goes.Then he checks the back of the projector on the right.He pulls a cable out and plugs it back in again, switches it on and off, and furrows his brow when nothing happens.

Then he looks back at me.

“Ruby, I have to tell you something,” he murmurs.

My heart leaps again.“What’s that?”I ask, barely audibly.

James picks up the cable and wiggles it.“This wire is dead.”

I blink several times and look at the wire in his hand.And, yes, I can see where it’s broken.There’s a place where the colored wires are peeking through the plastic coating.“Oh.”

James lowers it slowly.“That almost sounds like you expected it to be something else.”

That tone of voice.So deep and velvety and pleasantly calm.Iget goose bumps, but shake my head.But before I can say anything, James continues.“Because if you’re finally ready to hear what I have to say, I can get it off my chest at last.”

I hold my breath.I can only stare at James—at this moment, I’m incapable of anything more.

“I’m sorry,” he blurts.

“James…” I whisper.

“There’s so much that I want to tell you,” he replies just as quietly, closing the gap between us slightly.I don’t think he’s even really aware he’s doing it; his body moves toward mine as if drawn by a magnet.

Me too, I want to say.James is filling all my senses, just by standing there and looking at me like that.My knees suddenly feel very weak; the ground is melting beneath my feet.

There’s so much that I want to say to him too, so many words, but I can’t utter a single one while he’s looking at me like that.My throat is dry and I have to cough.“We’re here for the gala.For the events committee.Not to chat.”

“But Ihaveto talk to you.God, Ruby, I can’t go on like this another second.”His words are passionate but his voice is still endlessly soft.Like he’s afraid that any increase in volume would scare me away.

I can see his thoughts whirling behind his blue-green eyes.Soon he’ll form them into words.I can feel it—the air between us crackles with electricity.

“Please, Ruby.You don’t have to say anything.Just listen to me, please,” he begs.

I can’t move.I just stand there, shoulders stiff and hands shaking, as he comes another fraction closer.Now I have to put my head back to look up at him.

His moody eyes roam over my face and it feels like his fingers are stroking my skin.His skin on my skin, his fingertips running over my cheek, my nose, and my mouth.My body remembers the touch of him perfectly.

“I’m sorry,” he whispers.

“For what, exactly?”I reply hoarsely after a couple of seconds.

On New Year’s Eve, I resolved to close the chapter entitled “James Beaufort,” but now…now it feels like we’re on the point of breaking everything open again.

“Everything.”The answer is instant.“Absolutely everything.”

My breath quickens.How does James manage it?Make me feel lost and found at the same time?His words are turning my world upside down.I should be focused on the gala.Not on these emotions.Not on the fact that I feel as though I’ve been transported into a fairy tale with the hall so beautifully decorated, standing face-to-face with the boy who means so much to me.

“I’m sorry,” James repeats.His eyes are remorseful and full of pain, but it’s the first time since everything happened that his expression is fully open.At this moment, James is holding nothing back—I can see hope and affection in his eyes, and something that makes me gasp sharply.

This is my James.