Page 114 of Save You

“You took my phone?”I ask wearily.I can feel the outrage trying to build up deep within me, but the emotion vanishes as quickly as it came.Over the last few days, my body has felt like a black hole, swallowing up all emotions before they even have the chance to land.

Nothing really gets through to me; I can’t be arsed with anything.Every time I get out of bed, it’s as exhausting as if I’d run a marathon; I haven’t been downstairs in three days.I hadn’t missed a single day of school since I started at Maxton Hall, butnow the mere idea of showering, getting dressed, and spending six to ten hours with other people is too much for me.Let alone the fact that I couldn’t bear to see James.Just the sight of him would probably make me crumple in on myself like a faded flower.Or burst into tears.

“Tell her I’ll call her back,” I mutter.My voice is rough because I’ve spoken so little in the last few days.

Ember doesn’t move.“You need to speak to her now.”

“But I don’twantto speak to her.”What I want is a little time to get back on my feet.Three days isn’t enough to let me face up to Lin and her questions.I sent her a very short message on Wednesday.That’s all.She doesn’t know what happened between James and me in Oxford, and at the moment, I don’t have the strength to tell her about it.Or about what happened after that.If I could, I’d blank out the whole of last week and act like everything’s the same as ever.But sadly, as long as I can’t even manage to get out of bed, that’s not possible.

“Please, Ruby,” says Ember, staring hard at me.“I don’t know why you’re so sad or why you won’t talk to me about it, but…Lin just told me something.And I really think you need to speak to her.”

I glare at Ember, but her determined expression tells me I’ve lost.She won’t leave my room until I’ve talked to Lin.In some ways, we’re far too similar, and stubbornness is definitely one of the traits we share.

Resignedly, I stretch out my hand and take the phone.

“Lin?”

“Ruby, lovely, we have to talk, it’s urgent.”

Her voice tells me that she knows.

She knows what James did.

She knows that he’s plucked my heart out with his bare hands, only to throw it on the floor and trample on it.

And if Lin knows, then the rest of the school definitely does.

“I don’t want to talk about James,” I croak.“Ineverwant to talk about him ever again, OK?”

For a moment, Lin is very quiet.Then she takes a deep breath.“Ember told me that you went off with Lydia on Wednesday evening.”

I don’t reply, just fiddle with the hem of my duvet with my free hand.

“Did you find out then?”

I laugh tonelessly.“What d’you mean?That he’s an arsehole?”

Lin sighs.“Did Lydia really not tell you?”

“Tell me what?”I ask hesitantly.

“Ruby…Did you see my message earlier?”

Lin’s voice is so cautious that my whole body suddenly runs hot and cold.I gulp.“No…I haven’t looked at my phone since Wednesday.”

Lin takes a deep breath.“Then you really haven’t heard.”

“What haven’t I heard?”

“Ruby, are you sitting down?”

I straighten up in my bed.

Nobody asks that question unless something absolutely terrible has happened.Suddenly, the image of James, totally wasted, in that pool with Elaine is replaced by one that’s way worse.James, hurt in an accident.James in the hospital.

“What’s wrong?”I croak.

“Cordelia Beaufort died last Monday.”