Page 43 of Save You

“Did I do something wrong?”she asks in surprise.

I shake my head.“No.I’m the one who got everything wrong,” I reply.

Elaine raises an eyebrow.“What’s the matter?”

I shrug my shoulders but don’t speak.

For a moment she just looks at me, then she shakes her head.“Yeah, you’ve been better.”

“Sorry,” I say.“But I can’t do this anymore.”

She slides away from me a little.“Pity,” she says, standing up.“We’ve always had fun together.”

She pauses there for a moment, as if she’s waiting for me to stop her from leaving.When I don’t move, just stare straight ahead, she walks back to the dance floor without another word.

I let myself sink back into the sofa and stare up at the ceiling.I’ve never noticed the little lights up there before, which are presumably meant to look like stars.I find my hand reaching into my pocket to pull out my wallet.Shakily, I open it and take hold of the slip of paper hidden behind my driving license.I’ve avoided looking at the list in the last few weeks, for fear that it would make me feel even shittier than I already do.I hold it up so that the little ceiling lights are almost shining through the paper.Point by point, I read through what Ruby and I wrote together.I swallow hard and notice how rough my throat feels all of a sudden.

Never in my life has anyone taken an interest in me the way Ruby does.I’ve never had anyone be my first thought when I wake up and the face I see before my eyes when I go to sleep.And there’s never been anyone who wanted to make my dreams come true.

With those thoughts in mind, I fold the list up again and hold it tightly in my hand as I leave the club.

15

Ruby

“Here’s to Ruby!”Dad calls out.

“And to Lin,” I add, grinning at my friend.

It was Dad’s idea to have a little Oxford party with Lin at home and to raise a glass to our success.When Mum and I first told him, he refused to believe a word of it until he’d seen the email for himself.As he read it, he kept murmuring “no,” but then he hugged me so hard that my ribs are still slightly achy four hours later.

“I can’t believe they made us both offers,” I whisper to Lin over the rim of my champagne glass.

“Me either.”

The idea of spending the next three years still with my friend sets off a whole wave of excited butterflies in my stomach.I’m so happy that it feels kind of unreal.

“We really have to put the work in now, Lin,” I say.

“Can’t you two just enjoy the moment for one evening?”asks Ember.

Mum and Dad laugh, while Lin and I give each other a guiltysmile.“You’re right,” I say.“But there’s still a lot that can go wrong!”

Lin puts her glass down on the coffee table and takes a nacho—the only nibbles we could conjure up at such short notice.“It’s a conditional offer, though—we still have to get three A’s to get in.”

“And I need to get a bursary too,” I add quietly, trying to suppress the rising panic.The careers adviser at Maxton Hall has assured me loads of times that I have an excellent chance of getting one and that I really have no need to worry.But that’s easier said than done.

Lin’s cheeks go pale and she puts the half-eaten tortilla chip down next to her glass.“What if I don’t make the grades in one of my subjects?Grandma says she’ll support me through uni, but I bet she wouldn’t then.”

“Girls, you should be celebrating, not worrying yourselves sick!”Mum is sitting opposite Lin and me on our flowery armchair, looking at us with a shake of her head.

Lin and I exchange worried glances again but then pick up our glasses and have a big swig of the champagne.

“I guess you wouldn’t even have gotten in if you weren’t like this, huh?”Ember muses with a grin.She wasn’t surprised by the offer and is trying to be pleased for me, but I can tell how sad she is that I’ll be moving out.Oxford isn’t that far away, but it’s very different having a two-hour train journey between us instead of the width of the landing.Ember hates change, and I’m pretty sure if she had her way, we’d all carry on living at home together for the rest of our lives.

Although her mood has rubbed off on me slightly over the day, and the thought of leaving home is making me a little sad,that can’t outweigh my happiness at being accepted.And since James turned up here, I’m even more determined not to let anything or anyone rob me of this joy.

Once we’ve finished the champagne, Lin and I leave my parents to watch TV and go up to my room.