Page 185 of Save You

22

James

Mr.Bell’s Bolognese is amazing.

The spaghetti is al dente and the sauce is so perfectly balanced with herbs, tomatoes, garlic, and a dash of red wine that I absolutely can’t help the little appreciative sound I make as it crosses my lips.

Once I’ve tasted my first mouthful, there are four pairs of eyes fixed on me.Ruby’s whole family is staring at me.Mr.Bell’s expression is making me particularly nervous.Since I got the cutlery the wrong way round when laying the table, he’s had his eye on me, like he’s just waiting for me to make my next mistake and prove that I’m not good enough for his daughter.And of course, I know which way round to put the knives and forks!At business dinners at home there can be a whole array of the things, a set for each course.I’m not stupid, just a bag of nerves.

I clear my throat, sit up straight, and say with utter conviction, “This is the best Bolognese I’ve ever tasted.”

Ruby’s mother smiles at me.Ember mumbles something under her breath that sounds like “creep.”But at least Mr.Bell’ssmile is a little friendlier now.I realize that both Ruby and Ember have his eyes—not just the color, but the intensity of their gaze.

“James,” says Mrs.Bell—Helen, I correct myself mentally—just as I’ve put another forkful of pasta in my mouth.“What are your plans for when you leave school?”

At once, I stiffen.But I see Ruby look expectantly at me, which reminds me that these people are her family and I don’t have to fake it with them.

“I’ve got an offer from Oxford,” I reply hesitantly, without the usual steel in my voice.“And I’m already on the board of Beaufort’s.”

“Have you always wanted to do that?”Helen persists.

OK.I might not have to fake it with them, but at the same time, I can’t lay my entire inner life bare to these virtual strangers.I just can’t.So I chew my spaghetti slowly and pretend that I’m thinking my answer over.

“Ruby knew that she wanted to go to Oxford so young.Sometimes I wonder if everyone at Maxton Hall is as ambitious as her,” she adds, smiling at her daughter, who is sitting to my right, squirming uneasily in her chair.

I swallow and take a sip of water.“No, not everyone is like Ruby, I can assure you of that.”

“What’s that meant to mean?”Ruby inquires, outraged.

“I don’t know anyone else who’s as desperate to go to Oxford as you.My friends and I have put the work in, but I’m sure nobody else is as dedicated as you.”I wonder for a moment if that sounds like I’m trying to suck up to her family by praising Ruby in front of everyone.“But maybe I’m biased.”

That makes them all laugh.Like they found that genuinelyfunny.I frown.I meant every word I said.I didn’t expect them to be amused by it.I feel an unfamiliar emotion in my chest, and take another forkful of pasta to suppress it.

After dinner, I help to clear the table.I’d never do that at home—that’s why we have staff—but here, everyone gets to work so automatically that I don’t hesitate a second.

Besides, I really do want Ruby’s parents to like me.

I totally understand them being dubious about me.I would too in their shoes.

“Will you two join us in the living room for a bit?”Helen asks once it’s done.“Or do you have to get home, James?”

I shake my head.“No, I don’t have to get home.”

“If they ask you questions you don’t want to answer, you don’t have to say anything,” Ruby whispers in my ear as we follow her mother out of the kitchen at a little distance.“I’m sorry it got so awkward earlier.”

“That’s OK,” I reply, equally quietly.“Don’t worry about it.I like your parents.And Ember too.”

A smile spreads over Ruby’s lips.I’d like to take her hand, or touch some other part of her, but we’re walking into the sitting room, where the rest of her family have already settled down comfortably.

I notice how spacious this room feels and how minimalistic the furniture is.Unlike Ruby’s room, which is full to bursting, there’s a lot of free space here.As Mr.Bell maneuvers his wheelchair to stand next to the sofa, I figure out why.Then he picks up a remote control and suddenly the sofa rises up, until it’s level with the seat of his chair.Mr.Bell slips from one to the other.When he first catches me watching him, I want to look hastily away, but I resist the impulse.I don’t want him to think I have aproblem with something that’s so everyday to him.So I hold his gaze and point to the sofa, which is now sinking back down again.

“I’ve never seen anything like that,” I say honestly.“Is the mechanism built into the sofa, or…?”

Mr.Bell nods.If he’s surprised by my question, he doesn’t show it.“Yes, or more precisely, underneath it.”

Ember drops down next to her dad.She leans against his shoulder for a moment, and the look of love that spreads over his face softens all his features.So that’s what it looks like when a father doesn’t just see his child as a business partner he can manipulate for his own ends.

“Sit down,” says Helen.I turn uncertainly to Ruby, who takes the decision out of my hands by pointing to the armchair opposite the sofa.She herself sits next to Ember.